I realized just now that I'm happiest at work when I'm trying hard to code (or write stunning) under a deadline with my headphones cranked, in something of a trance.

Tomorrow at this time, I'll be at Disneyland, so if you come here looking for fresh insights to the world, you just won't find 'em. Not sure how that's different from any other day...

I really really hate Netscape. I really really hate myself for saying that but it's true.

I keep scrolling down to the picture of Ellie and smiling. She spent the day with me at the office yesterday and had a ball. After all, the requirement for being here is that she be with me at all times. Since that's her favorite thing in the world, she was thrilled.

Finally, a blog about breasts. The Breast Chronicles. I know the breast fans in my life were waiting for this.

Knowing that we all bring our own issues to everything doesn't mean it's easy to leave them behind.

My good friend has decided to move to the town where his girlfriend lives. It's really not that far away, and I didn't see him very much lately anyway. Really, I could see him more since I often drive dogs to that town. But, knowing that I once moved from Ohio to Oregon for a flimsy relationship that should have been a fling, I can't suport him. Yes, his situation is different than mine, but I can't get past the way I felt after Marcia dumped me, and there I was, alone, in a strange town where I didn't know anyone, living in what was a(laughingly, since I had no furniture and it looked the same after I left) 'our' apartment while she was out screwing an ugly nurse.

So in theory, I should put all this aside and support my friend. I'm trying, I really am.

It's all about drama. The condensed version of what's going on: remember the loan I got to pay off my car? It came late, so I knew my payoff would be late. So I called VW Credit to see if I'd owe more money. They said no and cashed my check promptly. Now they're saying that I owe them more money and I'm forced to threaten legal action. Good thing my dad's a lawyer!

Ellie

More than once, people have backhandedly suggested to me that we just put Ellie down, since she's already sick. I never know how to react. She's not dead yet, in fact she's pretty happy, why would I take that away from her early? Maybe these people think they're doing me a favor by pointing this out, but come on kids, everyone has a different timetable for how they deal with things.

We have a formula for Ellie -- if she has 3 really bad days in a row, where she doesn't want to eat, follow me around or go for a walk, then it's time. But goddamn it, don't tell me how to care for my family or hint that by not ending her life right now (when she's happy and well cared for) I'm doing her a dis-service. The only dis-service done to her was being unceremoniously dumped by her previous family.

According to emode, home to many ways to waste time, or eh, gain valuable insight:

Does your relationship make other people nauseous? Ignore them -- they're just jealous. Your relationship is perfect, so why are you wasting your time on this test? The passion is still in full force, and the respect and admiration between the two of you makes your relationship a rare find. It appears that you are extremely close friends in addition to feeling a strong romantic connection. The combination of these two aspects makes for a wonderful relationship. So, congratulations and enjoy the love you've found!

And I will! Andrea, I love you.

One thing I didn't expect when searching and finding my birthmom was the challenge of gift-giving. My mom is easy, I've known her all my life and know what she likes, but my birthmom is a different story. Yes, we look alike, act alike but in essence we're strangers, loose aquaintences at best. Trying to find the right gift that says 'you're fabulous, thanks for bringing me into this world' without seeming like a total idiot, is tough.

Ohmygod, it's the story of my life at my most recent company. TheStandard.com: Take It and Leave It. brig, how did you know?

I see, you can kill your baby, then walk free after less than 2 years of prison? Delaware grants early release to young woman who killed newborn.

I just got an unsolicited email from a recruiter about a PRE-IPO company. That's great. I've never worked for one of those, let alone been burned on stock by one so I don't give a crap about options. These days I just want the heat to work all the time.

And this!! North America's biggest Sitka spruce tree, on the way to my favorite beach. Wow. All courtesy of Nostalgia.

I randomly found this pic of my favorite place in the world, the beach at Seaside Oregon. This is where my crazy fun friend Gail lives, and where I want my ashed to be strewn upon my death.

DotComGuy recently adopted a beagle through the spca, so if you ever want to see a beagle live, there ya go.

I spent almost 4 hours in a meeting with our ad agency, returning to work completely drained and starving. My salvation came when I saw White Castle cheesburgers in the vending machine. There is a god.

My mom told me about this, but I didn't know how funny it was until I saw President Clinton - Final Days. It's a bit long but oh so worth it!

Just when I thought the Whassup thing couldn't get any funnier... Budweiser - Wasabi. Thanks Andrea, love of my life and finder of funny shit.

I admit it, I'm counting the days until Friday morning, when we board the plane for a fun filled weekend in Orange County, home to Disneyland. I *so* need this. When I'm not looking forward to a trip (lately, my trips home to Ohio, for example), I pack at the last minute. But, when I'm totally stoked, I'll pack up to a week early, just in case. Rest assured, I'm packin' tonight for Disney.

While I make no real effort to increase my readership (it's not like I won't get my commission if I don't meet a quota), I sadistically check the Hot List to see if I'm listed. As if thinking occasionally that my site may be on there would make it so.

I just followed some blatant spam and bought my mom a really stellar Mother's day gift. Who knew?