6.30.2000

Greetings from lovely, non-rainy Oregon. I started the trip by sitting next to a philosophy major who had answers to all of life's questions and the fattest guy who could possibly fit in coach. The fat guy dug his elbow into me the entire trip (he had no choice but it still sucked ass) and the kid told me how the world worked. Then I forgot that in Oregon, you don't pump your own gas. This guy came running out to assist me when I gallantly tried to help Gail with the gas.

Some workman cut the phone line and the phone service was out for the entire north coast, thanks to a little snippy snip. Crazy shit.

6.29.2000

I'm off to see the Wizard
Okay, I'm off to the sketchy internet-access land of Seaside, Oregon for 3 fun-filled with my friend Gail, who is so astounding that she may well be the Wizard for all I know. So don't look for updates, but if you're in Seaside and wondering who the asshole is shooting potatoes out of a 7 foot gun, well, it's not me.

See ya Monday kids!

The web has indeed reached maturity, bringing multimedia rich content directly to your desktop, including The Chris Farley Dance!, an obvious hommage to The Jesus Dance and of course the timeless classic, the hamster dance, which appears to have disappeared.

Ever wondered what searching on my ass would getcha? A real treat!

Ellie is at work with me once again. Given how fragile she's become (totally wiped out trying to get in the car this morning among other mishaps) I think I'll bring her with me as often as I can. She's especially fond of the grass outside the building, I guess it says 'roll here' to her, so we stand there for up to 10 minutes as she frolicks on the grass.

It doesn't hurt that we are 200 feet from McDonald's, maker of the hamburgers that are sustaining Her Royal Pickiness these days. Every time I look at her, I take a mental picture, knowing that I'll treasure those moments when she's gone.

I'm proud to report that my desk was clean and clutter-free for exactly one day. I tried to hold out but a flurry of papers and mints came flying from the sky and once again, I'm surrounded by evidence of my messy-ass working self

I recently sold a bunch of books on ebay for seriously low prices, like 50 cents and a dollar. I dutifully sent them out book rate, on time. One person bought a book for a dollar and has sent me no less than 6 emails about the book and why it hasn't arrived yet. Uh... because when I'm selling crap for a buck, I ship the slowest cheapest way.

I don't mind taking a huge loss on books, I'm really selling them to make room for more books, but I do mind being harrassed over a $1.00 item.

Since I'll be flying Alaska air to lovely, rainy, Oregon tonight, FAA Accepts Alaska Airlines Repair Reform Plan is very very very comforting.

Congrads to Amy on receiving a fabulous rejection letter! Most companies around here don't even send you a rejection letter, they just stop returning your calls, or stand you up for a phone interview. Or maybe that's just me, they figure it's okay to treat me like that.

My friend Brian once papered his room with rejections while looking for a law clerkship that never came. By the end of the summer, it was an impressive array of letters turned wallpaper.

6.28.2000

Just when I thought for sure that the whassup phenomenon had reached it's pinnacle, in comes Grandma, watchin the game and having a Bud.

Instantly I'm in love with this guy, Dr. Wilson, author and webmaster. I think it's the hair, that mullet-esque look is so in this year.

The most amazing music on the planet comes from Jimmy Luxury. Trust me on this.

Some things should not be sold on the Web, or at least not advertised with a coupon in my in-box. Those things include pregancy tests and personal lubricant, which should be purchased under a cloud of shame at the local grocery store.

I just paid my Discover card bill online. It was like magic. Why can't you pay everything this way?

6.27.2000

Now that I have tons and tons of great new tunes, I'm be-boppin like the jive-ass motherfucker that I am. Of course I stopped bopping around when someone walked by my office.

A must-read, thought-provoking dialog on whether or not to buy your own server.

I hadn't been able to get onto Napster for the last couple of days so now that I'm in, I'm going crazy, downloading everything that crosses my path. Half of it is probably crap but that's okay. I'm a downloading fool, mezmerized by those little blue progress bars. Must Download. Must Download.

Found a guy on Napster who has tons and tons of religious music AND the Village People. What does that mean?

Talk about shocking. It's going to be cloudy and/or rainy while I'm in lovely Seaside, Oregon this weekend. Who would have thought? Rain in Oregon?? Wow.

Our company photos section now features a lovely picture of Alice instead of an employee who quit. Does that mean she's been promoted?

I finally washed my Passat 2 days ago and I've spent the last 2 days admiring it's cleanliness. It really is a great looking car. Now that I am the title holder, it's time to have strategically placed letters removed so it says ASS instead of PASSAT. Suggestions on how to do this without damaging the now gleaming paint job?

6.26.2000

Currently having a fight with Mr. Hot Shit. I won't bore you with the details but only maintain my position that if you're really pissing me off, I just might call you on it.

What's the point in having friends if they don't ever give you shit?

My favorite quote from the career fair, where every booth was "Pre-IPO":
"Pre-IPO? There's no post-IPO!"
I didn't have the heart to explain that many many companies have gone public, that in fact there is a state of "post-IPO."

Why is it that every idiot thinks I'm his new best friend?
Saturday I went to Tri-Valley Animal Rescue's adoption day to help out with showing off the dogs we're trying to adopt. First, this guy comes up and starts telling me how he "had to" take his puppy into the shelter (which is a kill shelter, meaning that the chances of his puppy making it back out of the shelter are slim at best) because he didn't have time for it. He felt "half responsible" for this.

<rant>I have NO TOLERANCE for this. A dog is a lifetime (the dog's lifetime) commitment. You wouldn't adopt a child, then return it because you didn't have time for it, at least most people wouldn't, but somehow it's okay to abandon animals who are far more dependent on you than children???</rant>

I didn't know what to say to this guy. I wanted to read him the riot act but what would that do? No matter how hard we work at rescue, it will never be enough. So please, happy readers, spay and neuter your pets. Bob Barker wants you to and so do I.

Fun happy fact: since Bob began saying "Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered" in 1985, the number of animals euthanised for want of a home has dropped from 17 million a year to 5 million. Still a lot, but less.

I could not resist buying this lovely item for Amy. Enjoy!

Just got an email from my company's HR dept. It seems that it's my 5 year anniversary, and as such, I'm entitled to a free gift. Which is all well and good, but I've only been here 5 months.

This lovely photo completely sums up my friend Brad.

6.23.2000

It's about goddamn time, Elian Gonzalez could return to Cuba in 5 days. Yes, I know that Cuba is fucked up in many ways, but the kid should be with his dad. Period.

I think Alice is overtired from yesterday's grand neigborhood adventure so she's being a little shit, barking in meetings, whining all the time like a 2 year old who hasn't had enough sleep.

In honor of the pets.com declaration that today is Bring Your Dog to Work Day, and in honor of Alice's declaration that yesterday was Break Out of the House and Eat Everything day, she's at work with me today. My web cam thingie is on the Fritz so I can't capture the moment. Sigh.

6.22.2000

Alice managed to get out today. Okay, I somehow didn't close the front door all the way and she walked right on out. In her wanderings she managed to bring back a can of vegetarian chili and some Indian bread. From what I can tell, she went out, ate some stuff, brought some other stuff back, dropped it off, then went out for more, like 'let me take this back to the hotel' as if we're Howard Johnson's or something like that.

Since you never know what she's eaten, I made her puke it up but at least I could do it at home, thus saving some $$.

Things that are good about this:

  1. Ellie was at work with me all day. She really has no clue which house is ours and would have happily trotted off and gotten her little self killed.
  2. Our neighbor who caught Alice last time found and returned her once again.
  3. Our house is kind of hidden from the street so nobody took the opportunity to stroll in and rob us blind.
  4. Alice stayed relatively close to home.
But it was still one hell of an adventure.

My excellent co-worker Stever was kind enough to bring Ellie a hamburger from McDonald's (just meat on a bun), now she thinks that the world is a new and wonderful place. Thanks Steve!

The advantage of a mostly deaf and partially blind dog is that it's easy to sneak out of the room without her waking up.

I've decided to go and visit my fabulous friend Gail in Oregon during the 4th of July weekend, however all of the good-ass flights are sold out so I'm fretting over what to do.

Spent another exciting morning with Ellie (aka Carol Ann) at our wonderful vet's office. I think we have a solution for her upset tummy, at least I hope so.

I arrived early so I could run next door to Starbuck's and get my beloved Carmel Frappucino, no whipped cream. The Starbuck's guy knows me by now, since I'm a regular at the vet. Evidently this guy's new hobby is hanging out at the vet after he gets off work, bringing over little Starbuckian concoctions (some sort of apple cider w/ cinnamon and carmel, the vet came out and mentioned that apple pie smell is an aphrodisiac then got embarrassed for mentioning it and left) for them to try.

I ran into him as we took Ellie out to the lobby to get weighed (she's losing weight, which is not a good thing) and of course he fawned all over her. We went back into the exam room, I assumed that he'd be gone after we left. Oh no, concoction man hung around as Ellie's pills were broken in half, telling me how he'd taken her new medicine when he had giardea and how he gets those 'fabulous' pill cutters at Kaiser.

I don't mean to be rude, but do I care? I'm standing before you, trying to eek some precious days or weeks of happy life out of Ellie and frankly, I don't give a shit that you go to Kaiser or make great drinks (other than the Carmel Frappucino that I ordered). Then he tried to force his little beverage on me, I didn't know how to politely say 'you know, I'm not sure that this Frappucino won't give me the shits, I'm not taking any more chances, thank you' so I made lame excuses and finally just said no.

People -- if someone says no, it really does mean no. It doesn't matter if they're talking about sex, drugs or a soda. Have some goddamn respect.

6.21.2000

Everytime I read someone's take on the recent surge of blogs to the world, I'm instantly defensive. After all, this blog has only been around since February of this year, according to the timelines, it's worthless since it wasn't the among first and it isn't like some of the older blogs.

But shit, how does anything grow and evolve if only a handful of people are part of the process? And why is it an expectation that each and every weblog make every reader see the world or the web in a different way? Why can't it just be about me saying whatever the hell I want to and you reading it, or not?

Some things defy comment.

Adding the lovely photo of Bel Sha Zaar to my site has inspired great mirth and merriment. Everyone I've mentioned it to has some sort of belly dancing story to share, the best so far comes from Sarah, who once had dinner at a middle eastern resturant where the dinner included a belly dancing lesson and a belly dancing certificate to go with it.

I have no interest in seeing the movie Gladiator. None. Not an ounce, no matter how I try to muster or feign interest, I fall flat, spent, still not wanting to see it, knowing that my lack of interest is a big dissapointment to the rest of the family and surely that lack of interest is, in the eyes of God, translated into wavering devotion and for it, I'll be sentenced to eternal damnation.

From an anonymous member of my family: I have one of the hungriest cracks around.

Thanks to Amy for the fabulous color photo of Bel Sha Zaar in all her technicolor glory!

The world is so small and technology makes it smaller.
My friend is having a bad day. My buddy Thoma works with her, so I sent him an IM telling him to go over right now and hug her. He got right up out of his seat and hugged her and my other friend feels a little better.

There's nothing more charming than starting your day with a trail of dog shit leading outside. Ellie is not in top form right now, we're headed back to the vet again tomorrow morning.

6.20.2000

If you haven't been there lately, Amy has added some fabulous photos to her site. Go. Click now!

Excellent!!!

We're off to Reno, where we'll be seeing the Spirit of the Dance with our exciting VIP tickets. Reno... where the difference between VIPs and everyone else is a mere $5.

Just realized that I hadn't updated my Dilbert a Day calendar since April 17. I guess that was a really good day or something.

Not much going on today, I'm just tired. Andrea had to work hella late last night, and I stupidly went out to dinner with them at 9:30. I had a way-too-big beer and instead of feeling all warm and good like beer should make you feel, I all of the sudden felt like crap. When I stood up, I lost my footing so I appeared to be quite tipsy. But I wasn't, I just felt like shit.

Has the webcam phenomenon gone too far with the Vegas Wedding cam, or is this where it should be?

6.19.2000

After lunch today, I appointed myself Carpooler of the Month and as such, scored festival parking right outside the building. Really, I had to pee and was pretty short on time.

Oh waahh...Gas price crunch has one Illinois family singing SUV blues. Time to buy a minivan like the rest of the family-driving world.

Just called Andrea at work and was shocked to hear stuff I'd written while she put me on hold. My legacy lives on!

Part of having a beagle in the family means constantly watching what they're trying to get into. Chow hound does not begin to describe Alice, she's so driven by food, sometimes it scares me. On our walk this morning, she lunged at something with such great enthusiasm, it had to be an entire eclair or some delicacy. Ha! It was freshly made cat shit. There I was, yelling at her while she's licking her lips with shit on her lower lip. Blech, blech, blech!

Yesterday, Andrea and I went crazy at this girlie salon, packed to the gills with imported hair care products in all sizes, colors and shapes. I dropped a quick $78 on a hair dryer that's "75% quieter" (found out this morning that's because it's not very powerful), shampoo-in color that has left my hair the exact same color, and a 'texturizer' that's supposed to add curl.

The sum result of all these producs? My hair looks exactly the same.

Played a concert Saturday at my least favorite venue, the Almaden Fashion Plaza. There was an art & wine fest going on, so we were strategically placed between the kettle korn and the wine tent. It ended up being pretty fun, and I sat there admiring my lovely new sax case between tunes.

Check out the all new bassethoundrescue.com. Finally, a decent looking volunteer-run website. I know, I know, a lot of people volunteer to do a website for free because they're trying to learn and while I appreciate that process, sometimes the end result is either so gaudy that the message is lost or just plain hard to use.

6.16.2000

Picked up my new saxaphone case today. I'm totally in love with it. They also had the mouthpiece I'd been looking for so I got that too. It's been a big day!

The following is quite long, but it completely sums up my formative years as a Columbus Ohio resident:

"Vacation" to you means driving to Put-in-Bay or Cedar Point.
If you've got money, "vacation" means jetting off to the Gulf Coast to hang out with all your other Columbus friends in Naples or Sanibel.
You can tell from their accent if someone lives north or south of I-70.
You attended your senior prom only after a thrilling ride up the glass elevator to dinner at One Nation restaurant.
You know the sheer decadent pleasure of building your own hot fudge sundae at Max & Erma's.
"Bahama Mama" does not refer to any song, movie, or Caribbean belly-dancer. It's FOOD!
You know what "sliders" or "belly-bombers" are.
Until like, a decade ago, the spiciest food you ever tasted was mustard. Now we've got Thai & Ethiopian cuisine, foods marinated in jerk sauce, and places that serve ostrich.
Prior to about 1990, your idea of "ethnic food" was either Irish or German.
You think you've seen real snow. until you've spent some time in Cleveland.
You've done "Dime-a-Dog Nite" at Cooper Stadium, and caught the performance of some totally washed-up band from the 70s after the game.
You beam with pride that we're the hometown of Wendy's, White Castle, Cooker, Rax, Bob Evans & Donatos. but you wonder why we're the 8th fattest city in America.
You go to the Memorial at Muirfield just to see and be seen. and you've been rained on there at least once.
You're hedging your bets with your season-passes to the Crew, knowing full well the league might fold because soccer will never be a popular as REAL FOOTBALL!
You know that there was actually a city full of people here before AmeriFlora '92.
You skipped AmeriFlora '92, saying, "how the hell does a big flower show pertain to Columbus' voyage?"
You remember how exciting City Hall used to be in the days of Buck Rinehart. So what happened?
You remember the 1986 sinkhole on West Broad St. that grabbed national headlines by swallowing a brand-new Mercedes.
You spend at least 4 hours a day in traffic driving through orange-barrel hell.
You always cheer for the Buckeyes, even if you have no affiliation with the University at all, 'cuz it's the thing to do, Man!
You know how to pronounce "Scioto" and "Olentangy."
You prefer your pizza crosshatched into a thousand little squares or other odd-shaped pieces, because the traditional pie-cut is just too ordinary.
You see nothing unusual about a street being called East North Broadway.
You can describe the subtle socioeconomic differences among Bexley (old money), Powell (new money), and Upper Arlington (tons of money).
If you live in the suburbs, your backyard was actually a cornfield last year.
That complex on the corner, with the CVS, Frisch's, Blockbuster's and Big Bear. that was a cornfield last year, too!
As you lament the loss of all those cornfields, you see the infinite wisdom of Dublin City Council, who spent over $60,000 on a field of 10' concrete corn ears.
You were somewhat relieved to know they were puffing up attendance numbers for the Ohio State Fair. looks like we don't have the world's biggest white-trash festival after all!
If someone says "Grove City" or "Groveport" to you, you laugh and think "Grove-Tucky!"
If they mention "Obetz," you just laugh.
You feel inundated with retail shopping here, yet you still look forward to joining the Big Leagues of shopping when we finally get our Saks, Lord & Taylor's and Nordstrom.
(Guys) You wishfully think all those Victoria's Secret models actually live here, just because the company's based here.
Even if you never go there, you'll boast about German Village and the Short North, because they're the city's best defense against the "Cowtown" stereotype.
There's always that nostalgic part of you that doesn't really mind the "Cowtown" image.
In 1992, you thought New Albany was the middle of nowhere and you dismissed it as "Wexley." Now you aspire to move there after your next big promotion.
You see nothing odd about a city of 35,000 (Westerville) where it's illegal to sell alcohol.
Driving down Morse Road feels just like driving through a 1960s-time-warp version of Sawmill.
You remember your first trip to City Center and how cool having a downtown mall was, even though it looks more suburban than Easton. Thanks to Mr. Hot Shit's mom for this one

We've had Ellie for over 2 months. She was found running loose and is skittish like someone had beaten her and yet I'm all of a sudden feeling like we should track down her owners, if we can. But why? I wouldn't give her back, they'd neglected and hurt her.

The all too often sad truth about how dogs end up in rescue (if they're lucky)...Point-Counterpoint: Pets.

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy: 'No,' Says God. thanks to Mr. Hot Shit ™ for this gem

I used to think that talking about the weather was the lamest thing, I mean weather?? Blech! Lately, it's eaten up most of my waking hours so I'm starting to change my views. It finally cooled off yesterday, the outside temp was a mere 80 degrees. A day in the air conditioning calmed the dogs down, Ellie has not had any more demonic possessions.

6.15.2000

Our vet thinks that Ellie (now known as Carol Ann from the Exorcist) was indeed bitten by a bug. A cortizone shot has brought her back to us. Phew. She and Alice are at work with me, twice now Ellie has managed to shut down my computer.

Ellie was attacked by a bug last night that turned her into Carol Ann of the Exorcist fame. She spent the hours of 4-7 am thrashing, chewing, rubbing and doing anything she could think of to get out of her skin. Her efforts did not pay off, she still has skin but a shot of cortizone has calmed her down and exorcised the demon for now.

We've decided to de-bulk her tumor in a month or so. It doesn't seem like an extreme measure, since it will help her get around easier. Everything we're doing for her is measured by the 'will it improve her quality of life' standard and I think de-bulking will.

Ohmygod, Please Adopt Us is so damn funny!

Alice participated in her first videoconference. Her contributions mainly included laying down, then changing positions, but I'm thrilled that they didn't include barking or whining.

Last night was very very long. We all camped out in the living room because upstairs was so hot that even the toilet seat was hot. All was going well until Ellie decided to freak out at 4 am. She spent the next 4 hours rubbing, chewing and running around the house like a madwoman. It was pretty scary. She's at the vet today and Alice is with me at work, both of them are enjoying the a/c.

6.14.2000

Don't even ask me how I found this: Grandma's Barley Soup.

Yes, indeed, it Really is a Nice New Stadium....

Just because you can find everything you want on the Web doesn't mean that you need to.

I loathe the heat. Hate the way the pavement shimmers, the way sweating happens when I walk 10 feet. That's part of why I live in Silicon Valley -- the lack of weather. There are always exceptions to our wonderful weather-free climate, like today. And I'm hating life, feeling guilty that my little dogs are at home, panting up a storm in the heat and I'm here in the a/c.

Evidently, there are still some American POWs in Korea. Jesus, it's been 47 years. Let the dudes go home already.

I totally wiped out on the stairs just now. Had I not been wearing shorts, it wouldn't be as bad but oh the rugburn. Hello, and welcome to summer.

My day at the career fair was exhausting. I got there too late to talk to the faith healer (I am not kidding) and just in time for a guy who actually said 'am I boring you?' after telling me that he had no real experience but somehow knew how to do everything. His parting gift to me was a migrane.

6.13.2000

brig linked to this fabulously true article that seems to be about our time at beyond.com. I don't like to link just because someone else did (although brig is cool and stuff) but damn, this article reads like my life without me having to write the article. So there you are. thanks brig

Don't you people wear pants anymore?

I've spent the morning printing collateral. My tedious morning is marked by a huge stack of test prints or just plain fuckups on the expensive paper with our logo and crap on it, as well as by the new worn spot in the carpet from my many trips to the printer.

I'd just like to take a moment and say that Bette Midler is fabulous.

Just when I thought that the possibilities for Internet startups with no real way to make money had been exhausted -- Interstate4U - Everything you need to know about every Interstate exit in the USA comes along.

The career fair experience is unreal. All these companies packed into an exhibition hall, lusting after qualified candidates, and for once, I'm not one of those desperate candidates! Walking across the street, I was trapped in a pack of well dressed, eager applicants, they in their ties and skirts, my punk-ass motherfucker self in shorts and the company polo shirt. It was worth it for that moment alone.

Day one of Westech was crazy. There are a lot of wacky people looking for work out there. But I scored a bunch of stuff for Amy.

6.12.2000

Secret nuclear information missing from Los Alamos lab. This just seems bad.

We saw the fine feature film Barb Wire yesterday. Talk about a guilty pleasure movie, but it was kinda fun.

"Everyone is fascinating in a day-to-day way."
-- a slightly paraphrased Amy

It will be a low volume couple of days for me, I'm headed to Westech this afternoon and tomorrow to represent my fine company and hopefully hire some folks.

Amy asked me to document my ever-growing hair, so here it is.

Finding my birthmom and her family has indeed been tremendous. Going from having a list of questions gathered over a lifetime to having the answers in the space of a few days was amazing. Finding a roomful of people who look like me and share my love of sarcasm and fart jokes put a lot of things into place. But it's not like the reunions you see in the movies where all of a sudden I'm a part of their family. Because I'm a part of my family first and foremost. Because they have all gotten on with their lives since I left their family after a brief 3 day stay in it in 1973, because I've gotten on with my life too. Because it worked the way it was supposed to, with all of us getting on with what and who we were supposed to be and do. Meeting them didn't change that, it only closes a circle and adds a different kind of richness to all of our lives, one filled with sorrow and joy all mixed in together.

Yesterday I looked in the mirror and was startled to see the face of my birthmom looking back at me. Not literally, (good thing, we would have to clean before she paid me a visit) she lives 3,000 miles away, but in my face, there she was. I know that I look like her, but this was the first time I'd seen myself accidentally as looking like anyone else. When I'm with any of my birthfamily, I sit there staring at them, trying not to seem obvious about it as I look for pieces of me in their faces, expressions and bodies.

My hair's getting long, it's about the same length as hers and it was all kinda wild yesterday with the wave that seems to be the family trait. And there she was, staring back at me in my bathroom mirror. It's so weird to all of a sudden look like people when my whole life I've been the anomaly.

I put a bunch of books up for sale on ebay this weekend. I'll be putting a Sparc Station and 17" Sun monitor up as soon as I get around to taking a picture of them.

Alice is at the vet's, getting tested for Cushing's Disease. At this point, whatever it takes to keep her from peeing in the house is fine by me. Friday night she came upstairs with me (she doesn't always do this) to go to bed, walked over to her Grandma Bed (this huge goosedown bed that my mom gave her) and peed right on it. You haven't lived until you've had a dog pee on your bare foot. I woke up later to the delightful sound of her barfing so I know something's up with her.

6.09.2000

Ohh look a home I can afford to buy.

Our vet suspects that Alice has Cushing's Syndrome/Disease. The good news is that once confirmed, it can be maintained. Our vet also wants to de-bulk Ellie's tumor. While it's not a cure, it will help her get around better so we're considering it.

Found this The Rubber Lovers Contact List - Sorted by Location while searching for Quiksilver jeans. Wow.

Even if you want to, sometimes you just can't go back and right your wrongs.
The first summer I came out as a lesbian, I hung out with these 2 gay guys, going to bars and stuff. I was scared to death, not sure if I understood the culture or even what being gay was all about. One guy had a party at his house (which he had saved for a long-ass time to buy) and my upper-middle class suburban self did not hide my disdain for how run-down it seemed to me or his (kinda scary) neighborhood. Basically, I pissed all over this guy's pride and joy. He never spoke to me again.

I saw him a few years later and tried to apologize, tried to show him that I recognized that I'd been a real shit but his anger towards me was so great that it meant nothing to him and he blew me off.

Serves me right.

I was out walking the dogs, minding my own business, when I noticed my neighbor's dog running loose again (2nd time this week) and into the street. He's very sweet so I coralled him and called animal control, who wasn't on duty yet. I had no choice but to take him to the Humane Society of Santa Clara Valley, where I had to sign something saying that there's no guarantee that he won't be euthanized. What a fabulous start to my day.

And Alice and Ellie are pissed because they had no walk today. Although Ellie kept going after the other dog, armed with her 4 teeth.

6.08.2000

Currently chatting with a morgatge specialist from move.com. It's pretty kick-ass.

I'm currently reading Naked and it's fabulous. Last night I was weeping over the part where someone in his family was wiping their ass on the towels. Howling when he mentioned finding corn on those same towels.

There's nothing funnier than a fart.

Does anyone else remember when candy bars cost a quarter? Just mentioning it makes me feel old, or at least like a grown-up.

Looking forward to seeing what Amy's new webcam brings to the world.

6.07.2000

Brought both dogs in for the afternoon, but now they're looking at me like the fun's over and it's time to go home. I'll take their word for it and split.

The Onion | TV Listings kick ass!


The Iron Chef is coming to New York!!!!!

"31735041707864" -- Amy.

Why is this not in the US news? Gore stung as tenant calls him 'slum landlord'.

Ever wondered what a model of Gilligan's Island complete with thatched huts would look like? Now you know!

According to the original Hair pages:
"Welcome to the year 2000! The Age of Aquarius is here!"

The other night I saw this fabulous episode of Laverne & Shirley where Carmine, aka the Big Ragu was living in a glamorous apartment (his bed was a board on top of the bathtub, his roommate slept on the couch) and performing in the new musical Hair. The entire cast came over to visit (decked out in full hippie regalia) and sing the opening number with Carmine showing his fabulous chest. It was quite a moment.

Sometimes I love being Catholic (or at least having grown up Catholic): Internet 'Adultery' a Sin.

Last night I rolled my car windows down a little when I parked (I mistook the wafting scent from the dumpster for my car so I figured it needed a breath of fresh air). I forgot, of course, that I had parked next to the sprinkler so when we went to walk the dogs, water was pouring into my car. I valiantly burst forward with my key to roll up the windows, getting drenched in the process. Not 2 seconds after my mission was accomplished did I realize that I could have used the other door, which was away from the sprinklers. Duh is me.

Uhh.... hasn't this been on MTV for a long time already? CBS Brings 'Big Brother' to TV.

What do Bob Vila and father's day have in common? I'm really not sure.

I have to say that the good folks at Gun Dog Supply have actually turned out to give fabulous service, which is always the most important thing for me.

In response to yesterday's declaration that Dan is Hot Shit™, he is creating a Hot Shit™ line of clothing and a soundtrack to celebrate his newly-discovered Hot Shit™ status.

Ellie is famous!!!!

6.06.2000

Sometimes I think I'm speaking but the people I'm talking to actually hear me in Swahili. Makes for one hell of a communication problem.

Props for Dan, aka Hot Shit™
A special gift for my good friend, Dan, in honor of his fabulous new job:
I Think I'm Such Hot Shit.

Disclaimer: Dan really is fabulous. Last night he called me and was practically exploding with enthusiasm for his new job (his first real job), so much so that I asked 'did you just call me to tell me that you're hot shit?' In essence, yes, he did, but nobody deserves to think he's Hot Shit™ more than Dan. Why? Because kids were ASSHOLES to him for far longer than it was funny. Because he was my only friend when those same kids were assholes to me. Because he's finally figured out that he's as fabulous as I'd always known he was. And because he finally got new glasses.

Feel free to page Dan and tell him that you think he's HOT SHIT™ too!

This is so sweet, (and a little sad), I'm getting a little teary-eyed. Pooch's plight puts pilot in a pinch. It reaffirms my decision that if we ever travel with Alice on a plane (Ellie would bark the ENTIRE way, so she'd have to stay home) we would put her in one of those hip Sherpa bags and have her under the seat with us.

Am I becoming one of those people who has run out of stuff to say and chooses to just use pictures to express myself?

Another headline that defies comment: Internet 'Slavemaster' Linked to Kansas Murders.

6.05.2000

Oops.Atlanta pitcher Rocker sent to minor leagues. That's the price you pay for showing the world that you're a bigot.

How can you resist a face like Gavin Friday's?

I can't stop playing with these t-shirts.

I inadvertently left Eminenya in my Napster directory so I'm proud to report that as of right now, lots of people are playing this new song and saying 'what the fuck?'

I seem to be finding a lot of weird shit on the Web today, including error messages in languages I don't know. What an exciting day!

Tell me that this photo doesn't look like Pres. Clinton is standing in front of It's a Small World.

Life is Fabulous
because if it's not, what's the point?

I was trying to get a new leash for my Dad, we have this really bitchin one for Ellie that has done wonders for her pulling habit, but the only place I could find them online is Gun Dog Supply. I'm just not into the whole hunting thing so I'm kinda creeped out, but they had the lowest price.

I'm just a slave to consumerism.

I eventually found my Kipling bag from the good folks at Parkleigh. I'm still not sure what they sell (aside from Kipling) but they've been very nice.

Living on a Wall of Velcro™
Yesterday Andrea turned the couch cushions up and effectively made a wall of velcro. We spent the rest of the day throwing socks, blankets and pillows up there to see how long they'd hold.

6.02.2000

I've got this bug up my butt to get a hard case for my sax and Music Village is not proving to be too helpful.

I just remembered why I like shopping online more than in real life. I'd tried to order a groovy ass Kipling bag from my local store, but they weren't sure if they could get it. So I asked them to check and they could. A call back put me in touch with this idiot who kept asking if I wanted an Eagle Creek bag. Does Kipling really sound like Eagle Creek???

The Periodic Table of Funk is what the Web is all about. By this, I mean it's super cool, and useful, and at the same time, isn't trying to sell me something.

Another funny ass photo.

Chuckling out loud over my new title.

Sporting my new Michigan Basset Rescue t-shirt today, which bears the slogan "100% pure recycled basset."

6.01.2000

Hot shit-- Hookt.com.

Somebody just rode by my office on a bicycle. I am not kidding.

It seems that nobody is blogging today. I think we're all forced to actually do some work.

From Brad, why guys get girls drunk. Caution, nasty half naked chicks follow this link.

The athletic shoe industry has gone way way way too far.

Today's been crazy busy at work, but in a good way.