Greetings from lovely, non-rainy Oregon. I started the trip by sitting next to a philosophy major who had answers to all of life's questions and the fattest guy who could possibly fit in coach. The fat guy dug his elbow into me the entire trip (he had no choice but it still sucked ass) and the kid told me how the world worked. Then I forgot that in Oregon, you don't pump your own gas. This guy came running out to assist me when I gallantly tried to help Gail with the gas.

Some workman cut the phone line and the phone service was out for the entire north coast, thanks to a little snippy snip. Crazy shit.

I'm off to see the Wizard
Okay, I'm off to the sketchy internet-access land of Seaside, Oregon for 3 fun-filled with my friend Gail, who is so astounding that she may well be the Wizard for all I know. So don't look for updates, but if you're in Seaside and wondering who the asshole is shooting potatoes out of a 7 foot gun, well, it's not me.

See ya Monday kids!

The web has indeed reached maturity, bringing multimedia rich content directly to your desktop, including The Chris Farley Dance!, an obvious hommage to The Jesus Dance and of course the timeless classic, the hamster dance, which appears to have disappeared.

Ever wondered what searching on my ass would getcha? A real treat!

Ellie is at work with me once again. Given how fragile she's become (totally wiped out trying to get in the car this morning among other mishaps) I think I'll bring her with me as often as I can. She's especially fond of the grass outside the building, I guess it says 'roll here' to her, so we stand there for up to 10 minutes as she frolicks on the grass.

It doesn't hurt that we are 200 feet from McDonald's, maker of the hamburgers that are sustaining Her Royal Pickiness these days. Every time I look at her, I take a mental picture, knowing that I'll treasure those moments when she's gone.

I'm proud to report that my desk was clean and clutter-free for exactly one day. I tried to hold out but a flurry of papers and mints came flying from the sky and once again, I'm surrounded by evidence of my messy-ass working self

I recently sold a bunch of books on ebay for seriously low prices, like 50 cents and a dollar. I dutifully sent them out book rate, on time. One person bought a book for a dollar and has sent me no less than 6 emails about the book and why it hasn't arrived yet. Uh... because when I'm selling crap for a buck, I ship the slowest cheapest way.

I don't mind taking a huge loss on books, I'm really selling them to make room for more books, but I do mind being harrassed over a $1.00 item.

Since I'll be flying Alaska air to lovely, rainy, Oregon tonight, FAA Accepts Alaska Airlines Repair Reform Plan is very very very comforting.

Congrads to Amy on receiving a fabulous rejection letter! Most companies around here don't even send you a rejection letter, they just stop returning your calls, or stand you up for a phone interview. Or maybe that's just me, they figure it's okay to treat me like that.

My friend Brian once papered his room with rejections while looking for a law clerkship that never came. By the end of the summer, it was an impressive array of letters turned wallpaper.

Just when I thought for sure that the whassup phenomenon had reached it's pinnacle, in comes Grandma, watchin the game and having a Bud.

Instantly I'm in love with this guy, Dr. Wilson, author and webmaster. I think it's the hair, that mullet-esque look is so in this year.

The most amazing music on the planet comes from Jimmy Luxury. Trust me on this.

Some things should not be sold on the Web, or at least not advertised with a coupon in my in-box. Those things include pregancy tests and personal lubricant, which should be purchased under a cloud of shame at the local grocery store.

I just paid my Discover card bill online. It was like magic. Why can't you pay everything this way?

Now that I have tons and tons of great new tunes, I'm be-boppin like the jive-ass motherfucker that I am. Of course I stopped bopping around when someone walked by my office.

A must-read, thought-provoking dialog on whether or not to buy your own server.

I hadn't been able to get onto Napster for the last couple of days so now that I'm in, I'm going crazy, downloading everything that crosses my path. Half of it is probably crap but that's okay. I'm a downloading fool, mezmerized by those little blue progress bars. Must Download. Must Download.

Found a guy on Napster who has tons and tons of religious music AND the Village People. What does that mean?

Talk about shocking. It's going to be cloudy and/or rainy while I'm in lovely Seaside, Oregon this weekend. Who would have thought? Rain in Oregon?? Wow.

Our company photos section now features a lovely picture of Alice instead of an employee who quit. Does that mean she's been promoted?

I finally washed my Passat 2 days ago and I've spent the last 2 days admiring it's cleanliness. It really is a great looking car. Now that I am the title holder, it's time to have strategically placed letters removed so it says ASS instead of PASSAT. Suggestions on how to do this without damaging the now gleaming paint job?

Currently having a fight with Mr. Hot Shit. I won't bore you with the details but only maintain my position that if you're really pissing me off, I just might call you on it.

What's the point in having friends if they don't ever give you shit?

My favorite quote from the career fair, where every booth was "Pre-IPO":
"Pre-IPO? There's no post-IPO!"
I didn't have the heart to explain that many many companies have gone public, that in fact there is a state of "post-IPO."

Why is it that every idiot thinks I'm his new best friend?
Saturday I went to Tri-Valley Animal Rescue's adoption day to help out with showing off the dogs we're trying to adopt. First, this guy comes up and starts telling me how he "had to" take his puppy into the shelter (which is a kill shelter, meaning that the chances of his puppy making it back out of the shelter are slim at best) because he didn't have time for it. He felt "half responsible" for this.

<rant>I have NO TOLERANCE for this. A dog is a lifetime (the dog's lifetime) commitment. You wouldn't adopt a child, then return it because you didn't have time for it, at least most people wouldn't, but somehow it's okay to abandon animals who are far more dependent on you than children???</rant>

I didn't know what to say to this guy. I wanted to read him the riot act but what would that do? No matter how hard we work at rescue, it will never be enough. So please, happy readers, spay and neuter your pets. Bob Barker wants you to and so do I.

Fun happy fact: since Bob began saying "Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered" in 1985, the number of animals euthanised for want of a home has dropped from 17 million a year to 5 million. Still a lot, but less.

I could not resist buying this lovely item for Amy. Enjoy!

Just got an email from my company's HR dept. It seems that it's my 5 year anniversary, and as such, I'm entitled to a free gift. Which is all well and good, but I've only been here 5 months.

This lovely photo completely sums up my friend Brad.