Haven't been able to connect to the IM service all day. Damn, email seems so slow.

FUCKERS! has become my mantra today. Everyone who's pissing me off is a FUCKER!. I'm sure I'll snap out of it but for now I can't stop eating mints (thanks Mr. Hot Shit!) and muttering FUCKERS!.

I sometimes forget that little kids don't curse a lot because they're not allowed to. Last night we were having dinner with my brother, his fiance and a friend from work. I was talking about some people who have been driving me crazy, instead of calling them by name, I'm reduced to calling them FUCKERS. Every time I said that, this kid turned around and stared like, wow, you can cuss?

Yup. Fuckers!

Investigator absolves U.S. government in Waco siege is like the Pope apologizing for all the atrocities over the centuries or even Clinton apologizing for slavery. Kids, it's over. The people are still dead, nothing can change that. Why open up old wounds just to make yourselves feel better?

Fuck Regis. His moment is over, it's all about Rudy now. And thank god, I was sick of Regis and those ties after about 2 episodes.

In my working life, I've had to write contact us pages for a few places. They're usually stuffy blatherings about addresses, why we're cool, etc. But one time, I'd love to throw something like the SurvivorSucks.com Disclaimer up, just to see how long it would take to get fired.

But then, of course, I would have had my moment and I'd be jobless. Which, in Rudy's excellent verbage, would be a "pain in the ass."

My apologies for the lack of content today. Work has gotten crazy and I have to play my final concert of the year tonight so I'm scrambling to get everything done before I leave at the godawful early hour of 5 pm.

Please don't mind me, I'm just talking to myself as I work.

A little job-hunting advice from my pal, Thoma. Not that I'm looking for a job, but for those of you who are.

Forget the iMac, I want the Power Mac G4 Cube. Even though we hardly use our Mac anymore (the free PC is just faster) I still remain a Mac person at heart.

It's true, I admit, I love TV. I love the way it's changed from canned dramas and cheesy sitcoms into a more interesting blend of reality and big budgets. I love that people, just doing the things that they do are more interesting than anything us writers can create. Of course if the trend continues, I'll never acheive my Big Dream of writing for a TV show but at least there's better stuff on TV.

Going back to the CBS site has indeed, revealed that the site has been taken down. Looks like I really do know what happens tonight. Bummer.

Andrea found a real gem here: The Contortion Home Page. Yikes!

Like Ed Grimley, I must say that Big Brother has gotten a whole lot better. I actually watched with interest last night.

My grumpiness is compounding by the minute. It's taking everything in me to be nice but I'm afraid that it's not enough. I apologize in advance for anyone who may catch my wrath.

Did CBS screw up and post this story too early? The damn show hasn't been aired yet but it reveals who's voted off tonight. Jesus, people, leave some mystery, why don'tcha?

Thanks to Mr. Hot Shit™ for the two additional cases of Chocolate Velamints that arrived on my desk today. You rule!

I have been so grumpy lately, it's not funny. Trying to avoid answering the phone, lest I bite someone's head off.

Lately I've been thinking about the people who I've loved (either in the friendship sense or otherwise) but lost contact with. I wonder, does having loved someone mean that you'll always have that connection or does it go away? When I think of them, I still feel affection but I can't imagine what I'd say if they were here with me, beyond, uh, hi.

I've been all about minor tweaks today, Bel Sha Zaar grooves a little easier, more unintentional artwork has appeared. Console your cries of "there's no new written content!!" by noting that there are a few new visual treats to feast your eyes upon.

My super suave, ultra spiffy IBM 3-Button ScrollPoint Pro Slate Blue Mouse just arrived and I'm smitten. No, not just smitten, but in love.

I'll buy anything if it helps keep my carpal tunnel nonsense to a dull roar. So far, this mouse is a winner!

The Secret Language of White People
Eddie Murphy once did a skit in Saturday Night Live where he dressed as a white man. Everywhere he goes, people treat him like a king. He gets on the bus, and when the last black person gets off the bus and the passengers are all white, everyone breaks out into a spontaneous, whites-only party.

That's funny stuff, but it's not too far from the truth, at least not that I've seen in my life as a pale pasty white girl. There is a hidden language of white people that they don't use when other minorities are around. Usually, it's not overt racism, but little things like assuming that of the 2 men who towed Andrea's car, it was the black ("colored," the woman actually said to me) man who screwed it up. Using her own secret language of white people I said no, it was the "skeevy lookin' white guy."

But what is it about being white and around other white people that makes people think it's okay to single out the minority person as the wrongdoer, or to talk about "chinks" in MY HOME (which I share with an Asian person), or tell me an unfunny joke about some non-white ethnic group?

It's not the kind of bond that I'm looking for with people. Can't we start somewhere less obvious (and more interesting) than the color of our skin?

After a furious afternoon of barking in the hallway and begging for food that she didn't want, Ellie is snoring like an old man at my feet. If anyone asks what the point is of bringing your dog to work, it's moments like these when I know she's worn out but content because all is well in her little world.

Saw The Kid yesterday. Talk about your fine feature film! I laughed most of the way through, thanks to the ever-fabulous Lily Tomlin. Ask her about her magic bra and panties because I want some too!

I'm totally grooving on disney.com's monorail navigation. The entire time I'm in Disneyland, I point out the monorail, saying 'ooh, look! Monorail!' regardless of how many times I've seen it that day.

Occasionally, I think I'm smarter than I actually am, then reality comes along and I remember, I'm not as smart as I think I am.

Ellie is at work with me today, now sporting a lovely green bandage instead of the old tan one. Always a slave to fashion, this girl is! She's decided that it's quite okay to sit in the hallway and bark. Not a good thing.

Bush Thief Thwarted by Old Beagles
Saturday night, I was walking Alice and Ellie, minding my own business, when we saw this woman standing on the lawn outside these new condos, holding a garden spade. I didn't think too much of it at first, but then I thought, hey it's 10 pm, I don't think she's gardening. We watched as she went up to these little trees and shook them to see if they'd come loose. As soon as she saw me and my posse of toothless attack beagles, she retreated to the shadows of the Wienerschnitzel. No, I'm not making this up.

We watched for a while but she gave up, only to return later and swipe not one but two mini-trees. Ever mindful of my Civic Duty (not doodie) I called the cops (this conversation was every bit as ackward as you're imagining-- "I'm not sure if you should report these things, but there's a woman with a spade out here and well, some trees are missing) but they said they couldn't do anything.

I just want to know why she's stealing trees.

Have an old cell phone that you aren' t sure what to do with? I've got the answer! Cabwatch arms NYC cabbies with cell phones and helps fight crime. Sounds good to me.

Bought my ticket to Ohio for the upcoming Road Trip™. It's only one way, so I'm placing all my faith in everything working out well for Amy.

When I moved to CA in 1996, Mr. Hot Shit™ (known to me at that time as Dan) flew out from Denver to drive with me, only I wasn't supposed to go to CA, I was headed back home, to lovely Ohio. The more time I spent in CA, the more I knew that I couldn't go to Ohio, that I was finally falling for Andrea and the possiblities here were just too fabulous to pass up.

So I called the mover and had them turn that truck around, depositing all of my stuff here with no real place to put it. I had to buy Mr. Hot Shit a ticket back to Ohio. I do feel bad that I robbed us of a good road trip (Mr. Hot Shit is the Master of Road Trips, I am merely the Bater) but my life has completely turned around since moving here. Andrea and I are coming up on 4 years of togetherness, I've abandoned my retail roots and work happily on the Web, and of course my salary has increased accordingly.

Bottom line: it's all good.