There's no way I could say this better, so I won't even try. The Right to Be Ordinary says pretty much everything I think about being gay.

Drove my Squareback to work today, then sat here for 20 minutes wondering why I smelled so bad. Then I remembered, it's the fumes.

This morning I tried to clean up the house a bit. While halfway through emptying the dishwasher, I noticed that the dishes didn't seem clean. I kept putting them away until I realized that they were, in fact, dirty. It's been a long week, kids.

Want to help a dog in need and get a free t-shirt? Donate to Annie's fund today.

My parents sold their house yesterday. It was on the market for all of two days, and just like that, our family history was sold to the highest bidder. They'll be closing on both our house and their new house on the same day, I'll be headed back to help them out with it, because they haven't moved in 30 years but more importantly because I can't stand the thought of just not going to my house when I arrive. If I help with the process, it should make things a bit easier.

Last night's rehearsal dinner was fabulous. I met the rest of Marci's family and we all had a fine time. Of course, I'm now totally exhausted and there's still the wedding to go tonight, but I'm up for the challenge.

Sometimes I'm just too nice, I let people change my plans for me and don't say anything. When I do finally say something, you all seem surprised. All I ask for is a little consideration, is that too much?

What this means is that I've finally hit the point where I can't just sit back and be walked on. My life has been a crazy mess for the last month, I'm no longer a person, I'm just a mass of moving stress and I can't handle changing my plans around anyone else anymore.

My AOL Tale of Woe

I've had an AOL account since 1995, when I lived in Portland and the options were few. While I worked at beyond, I found myself doing a lot of work for our store on AOL so I ended up getting the account free. When I left A YEAR AGO I changed the billing back to myself. End of story, or so I thought.

In that year, I've been paying faithfully for the account but it turns out that beyond has too. On Tuesday, someone at beyond noticed my account still on their books and called AOL to shut it off. Nobody bothered to check, to see that I've been paying for it myself, they just cancelled my account. Countless hours on the phone with them yielded nothing but frustration, I'm ready to have a lawyer call and get my account turned back on for me.

My brother's getting married tomorrow to a fabulous woman, I'm looking forward to a long, enjoyable union for them. Families on both sides have gathered for the event, Marci, my soon-to-be sister-in-law, spent the day ferrying family from the airport to San Fransisco. My job was a bit easier--gather my parents and entertain them for the day. Here are some highlights:

The 'homeless' guy with a sign that said 'homeless, hungry, anything helps' who stood up at the end of his workday, put his sign and milk crate into a free newspaper dispenser, walked to his car and drove home.

Riding a full cablecar uphill and trying to hold on for dear life while pretending that the experience was charming.

Sitting through a carful of family with driving tourette's--"turn here! No! Now, turn here."

Meeting Marci's fabulous parents, both of whom entertained me to no end. The best quote of the evening "that Jeb Bush's wife! Someone should hide her under a teepee," followed only by "if you don't take this leftover cake home, that's a sin." I took the cake home.

There are 8 million things going on, none of which I can talk about. It's really not as exciting as one might think, but I can't talk about them right now anyway. Although this is blogging, not talking anyway.

I do not like extraneous vegetables on my burgers. McDonald's makes a great chicken sandwich but then they fuck it up with a head of lettuce and more mayo than the state of Ohio allows on all the school lunches combined.

Updating my resume is a pain in the ass. I often leave things out because I assume that everyone uses them, important things like CSS and CVS which seem pretty obvious to me, but I guess they're not to everyone else. Oops.

A line I'd like to add to my resume:
I can FTP my ass to the moon.

There's really nothing worth mentioning today.

Media Partners for Pets is working with Disney to prevent the overflow of unwanted dalmations after the upcoming release of 102 Dalmations. They even have Bob Barker as a spokesperson!

Andrea pointed out one missing item from my Weekend Roundup™. We found a stray dog outside McDonald's yesterday and brought him to the Humane Society. He's been adopted out just 2 days earlier, he still had his stictches from being neutered so I was pretty sure that someone would be looking for him. Sure enough, his people arrived to pick him up while we were there so it was all good.

The end of an era--Bobby Knight is fired. Significant because he had a great record for developing great teams but an equally memorable repuation for being quick to fly off the handle, yell at anyone in his path and be ejected from his own games. Farewell, Mr. Smarty Pants.

This was so funny, I had to include them all, welcome to my life. If you don't get the jokes, consider yourself lucky, that means you're not from Ohio.
You know you're from Ohio if:

1. "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.
2. You measure distance in minutes.
3. Down south to you means Kentucky.
4. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
5. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
6. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
7. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
8. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
9. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
   Example: "Where's my coat at?
10. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
11. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
12. You carry jumper cables in your car.
13. You know what pop is.
14. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
15. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
16. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
17. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but sports requires six pages.
18. You find-20 degrees F "a little chilly".
19. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
20. You know if another Ohioan is from southern, middle or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouth.
21. You can spell words like Cuyahoga and Tuscarawas.
22. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Ohio friends!

It was a big weekend.
My parents found a house that they really like and are putting a bid on it. Of course it currently belongs to the crazy aunt of the guy I dated in high school. I want to be supportive because it is the right thing to do, they're leaving 2 story place for a ranch, where even if they can't walk anymore, they'll be able to get around. But they're selling my house. My whole life happened there, at least the first 21 years.

I finally signed up for the hockey class I've been talking about taking for almost 2 years. It starts at 8:15 am on the 23rd, I can't wait. To accompany this new endeavor, I had to get some hockey gear, which I can't wait to use.

In preparation for my parent's arrival, I got my car washed. Usually, I put this off because then I sit there analyzing every inch of the car and being pissed because it's not perfect. But this time they really did a shitty job so I'm fuming but will go back today and take advantage of their 24 hour guarantee. Fuckers.