Today, my mom has new house tourette's. They closed on both houses today and I'm on my way there tomorrow to help them with the Big Move™. I'm almost resigned to it.

A grieving father on NPR said that loss doesn't fade, but that it just becomes less immediate. 2 weeks and 4 days after Ellie died, I have to agree. Some days, I almost forget that she's gone, other days I weep as I did the first night, and once, for a second, I forgot that we'd even known her.

But each time, I'm snapped out of it and the fact that she's gone hits me anew. Yes, she's in a better place, in the company of some amazing dogs and people, but my life has a huge hole in it where she used to be. Death is not hard for the dying but rather for those their passing leaves behind.

In this case, it's me left behind.

Don't try to say ' you only had her for 6 months and 8 days, you couldn't possibly have loved her that intensely' because it's not true. Knowing that our time with her was to be short, I made the most of every day I had with her, doing my best to treasure at least one memory from each day. We truly packed a lifetime into 6 months and 8 days, I don't know how I could possibly muster that kind of intensity again.

On the phone with my mom. She has moving tourettes!

Just when I couldn't feel worse about our search for a home, our realtor sent me a link to a triple-wide.

I got this reallly fabulous spam yesterday, which instead of responding to, I'll post here (with a few additions of my own) for your perusal.
Hi
We went to your site at
http://www.lizspeaks.com/
We feel there is very substantial potential to promote your site on the Internet. That is what we do - we bring traffic to our clients websites. We have proprietary software and assortment of other Internet tools designed to make your site popular and bring traffic that is interested in your product area. This can put dollars in your pocket.
Many of our clients initially thought it would be better for us to be paid in a percentage of profits. Thank goodness for them they choose a flat fee instead. They have enjoyed an enormous increase in traffic.
We offer you a free comprehensive analysis of your site. If you would like this free analysis please REPLY to this email and include your:
Full Name:
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I think you will be very surprised by the detail and results of our analysis.
Carol Byron
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We have taken great care to provide this message. If you wish to be excluded from all future mailings please click reply and type remove in the subject line.

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So...kids, if you're looking for a competitive analysis of your website, be sure to get in touch with my new pal Carol.

The George W. Bush dance.
Go boldly where the hamster dance did not, to the heart of idiocy and the GOP. Thanks once again to my home slice Sarah.

Woo hoo! It's Alice's birthday!!

She's 11 today, which is hard to believe since she acts like a puppy, or at least a much much younger dog.

Now here's an idea I can get into: Job Candidates Charge for the Interview. So many times, I've gone to interviews thinking that maybe I wanted the job, maybe I didn't, then knew within 30 seconds that I didn't. I'm way too polite to say 'gee, you guys seem to have your heads up your asses. You may have 10 million users but you have no revenue and none in sight so, while you're all very nice, I've been at enough companies that have gone out of business this year alone and don't care to take on another.

So I sit there and talk to everyone who comes in, all the while growing more and more bored/frustrated because I'm tired of answering the same questions over and over with each new person. I'd rather play a videotape of myself and save us all some time.

The idea of billing for my time is ideal. It would keep the windbags under wraps and would make it easier for me to say 'you know, this just wouldn't work for me. Ever.' Thanks to my homie brig for this one.

The Public 8 Ball is just plain cool. Thanks Sarah!

If you go to the NFL For Her page today, the NFL will donate $5 for each page view for breast cancer research. Click to save some boobies!

In a way, working animal rescue is playing God. We get to decide which shelter animals get pulled for rescue, essentially leaving the remaining animals to try to get adopted, but more likely, to die.

Once we pick the animals we think we can place, it's playing God again, deciding which family is worthy of this animal. Of course we have criteria, selected by experience not guesswork, things like holes in fences, previous animals who died under strange circumstances, unwillingness to spay or neuter, having 'gotten rid of' other pets, the list goes on and on.

Often, I don't have to ask about any of this--people will spill their guts if you listen long enough. So yes, we play God in deciding if these people are worthy of our animals. We're all about saving lives, but more importantly, making sure that the lives we save spend their days surrounded by love and respect. Is that so bad?

My fabulous friend Korge is all set to run The Columbus Marathon 2000 this Sunday. You go, you big stud!