I've always been close to my mom. When I was in kindergarten, there were many days where I couldn't bear to go. We'd roll up and I'd start to cry, I so much wanted to be with her instead of in that classroom. More often than not, she'd give in and we'd head off for a fun afternoon. We've stayed close throughout most of my life (that rough period after I announced my sexual orientation notwithstanding) but lately it's gotten hard to take. She's under a ton of stress arranging care for my Grandmother and dealing with her siblings who range in helpfulness from ass-wiping to no effort beyond bitching from far away). I respect that and have done my best to be there for her, but right now that means dealing with a lot of her emotional runoff and I'm afraid it's more than I can bear.

So we bought this house, with no help from Andrea's family or mine. To do that, we've borrowed 100% of the money but it doesn't matter, we have a house. My mom also bought a new house this year, one with carpet throughout so all her rugs are in storage. Our house has hardwood floors (or does now that we've ripped up the hideous carpet, linoleum and tile that was covering it) so I asked if we could have one of the 5 (expensive and nice) rugs that are in storage. It's going to cost $345 to ship the one rug that we really want but mom's all set to spring for it.

Or at least she was until she ambushed me a few minutes ago with one of those phone calls where she's on the verge of tears, saying that now she wants me to have it but she'd rather pay up to $500 for a new one. What the fuck?? I can't deal with that kind of emotion over a rug.

This year, I've become her emotional scapegoat. How the hell do you stop this kind of crazy emotional roller coaster ride? I'm a nice person but I can't let myself get walked on anymore. It throws me way off then I can hardly work and how would I pay for this house if I can't do that?

AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!