We went to the Flames Coffee Shop for dinner. The hostess looks a looks a lot like Flo from Alice, yes that's right, kiss my grits Flo. If you don't know what Alice was, please fire up Nick at Nite and pretend that I'm not a geezer.

Anyway, we were at the counter paying for our fine meal and discussing the cost of shipping the rug when Flo spoke up, telling us about the Sears card she had gotten without asking for it, never used it, just kept it in her (big brown vinyl) purse until a telemarketer called her about life insurance. She listened politely and gave him a fake birthdate (1952) and ended the call by asking for a brochure in the mail.

That nasty telemarketer charged Flo $128 to her unused Sears card. As she told us this story, I couldn't stop looking at her huge hair or the thick swab of makeup on her face and thinking "if Amy was here, we'd both be laughing." Then I started laughing and had to excuse myself.

That Flo.