Who knew that the most excellent Korea BBQ Buffet we went to last night with the fabulous Amy F had a website? I'm drooling looking at the pictures of all that meat.

Last night on ER, the phine Dr. Weaver was just starting to enjoy her first relationship with a woman. By no means did she consider herself gay or ready to march in a pride parade, but this woman's obnoxious dyke friends scared the crap out of her, talking about the advantages that heterosexuals allegedly enjoy and announcing that everyone at the table had slept with Kim.

Yes, it's true that the lesbian community is very inbred, so to speak. When you only have 5% of the population to choose from and don't have the things that hold many straight people back from giving up on a relationship easily (kids, house, etc), it's inevitable that you'll find yourself dating your friend's exes. But to say something like that is, to me, inexcusable, not to mention something I've never heard anyone announce to a group. Certianly, I've thought it but would never make such a proclamation. To do so is inconsiderate (especially to a 'new lesbian' just figuring her story out) and rude. Why bother?

These days, I don't really consider myself part of the gay community. I've always rejected the notion that being gay means I have to be political, I wasn't into publicly protesting before I realized that I'm gay, dating chicks doesn't change that. Straight people have different advantages, but I really don't think they have more of them and even if they did, so what? Being attracted to women is something I sure as hell can't change, why waste my time bitching about something that I can't change? I was still able to buy a house, have a loving relationship and the respect of my peers. My self-confidence and job skills did that for me, not any government-mandated rights.

Quit bitching and stand up for yourself.

Alice is at the vet today, getting her annual teeth cleaning. This time, she's also having a small (but steadily growing) lump removed from her foot and a neck x-ray done just in case something can explain why she's been yelping so damn much. We couldn't give her breakfast today so she was mighty pissed on the way over and less than pleased when they whisked her to the back of the office. Sorry, Al. It's for your own good. I think.

Now that we're homeowners, I've become more of a cheap bastard than I was before. We're also woefully behind the times, so my new favorite place is Movie Bargain Cinemas, where the movies are only $3.50. Thumbs up, when the rest of the area charges $9-10 and has no goddamn parking.

Words of Wisdom from my Mom
Don't buy an Egg Wave. They explode in the microwave!

It's probably time to start mentioning our upcoming housewarming party. Mark your calendars for Saturday, March 17, we'll be having a phine bash in honor of our new home, my birth and my friend Melinda's visit to lovely CA. Since our house is small, we may have the shindig start early, say 6 pm, and go on for a while, hoping to space out the traffic. Of course, my fears may be true, we may have no friends after all but just in case.

I think this will work better than an evite since most of my friends read this. Rather than include my address here, if you know where we live, just show up, or email me for details that I'll invent just for you (sure, sure, we'll have a fondue pot and a hang glider for you) and directions.

See you there!

Today, our system is so slow I have time to go to the bathroom after hitting save. If I'm lucky, it's finished by the time I return. Let's face it, it's pretty hard to run an Internet company without decent bandwidth.

Some guys took samples of dialog from Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies and played them back in some hiliarious prank phone calls. Enjoy.

I say, sir, good for you! Utah man, 91, accused of stealing power for decades.

In case you were wondering, Amazon.com tells you about Gardening Feng Shui.

I'm making that face: Woman killed in car crash sent to junkyard. Gee, Bob, there's a body in the backseat.

After 2 weeks of hell at work, things appear to be calming down, at least for now. Good thing, I was running out of energy.

The Official Hannibal website is chock full of nifty stuff but has some of the worst navigation I've ever seen. Sheesh.

On the way to work today, I saw not one but two young men fiddling intently with pay phones. Is there some bizarre ring of pay phone fiddlers?

Has everyone forgotten about the separation of church and state? Bush signs order opening 'faith-based' charity office for business.

I'm sorry to report that my honorary basset hound niece Marabelle died on Monday. She'd put up a good fight against cancer but in the end it robbed her of her legs and her dignity. My little Flying Nun with the lethal weapon ass is in good company with Ellie, I can only hope that they're sharing a burger.

I'm starting to feel old, not just because, I'll be 28 soon, but because I finally own a house that's packed with grownup responsibilities and I'm tired all the time.

There's snow on the mountains nearby, a very unusual thing. Looking out my window, I can see the snow-capped peaks and it makes me feel like I'm living in a happy mountain town.

Tell me why this pricelist is so damn funny. I want my picture on the website where I work. The caption could be "Liz. Bad Mother Fucker and web team member."

Thanks to my dad for reprising some really great advice:

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

People seem to forget that even though that dang old Internet enables instant communication, we're still not all sitting next to each other. Every time I see a company's website that looks interesting, I look at their jobs for the hell of it. But half the time (or more) they list all these fabulous jobs and never mention where their office is.

Women are funny. Gay women are even funnier. Not exactly like funny ha-ha but funny interesting or things that make you say 'huh?' Any gathering of gay women is invitably a mishmash of issues, moreso than a gathering of other types of people. There are more rules, it must be smoke-free, alcohol-free, meat-free and occassionally, fragrance-free.

I certainly respect non-smokers (I'm one myself), recovering addicts, vegetarians and non-purfume wearers like myself. However, I can't understand how these people function in society with all these issues. Can you honestly expect a fragrance-free workplace or a booze-free world just because it affects you in a bad way? We share the world with billions of people, is it really necessary or realistic to think that a gathering of any sort should cater to any individual's specific needs?

And just so you don't think this pisses me off about gay women only, what's all this shit about peanut allergies? Does the world need to be peanut-free because a few are allergic? Just don't eat the goddamn peanuts, smoke the cigarette, drink the booze or stand next to the person bearing any sort of fragrance!!!

When you really have to go: Beer Drinker Fined for Urinating on Woman's Leg. Thanks Amy

Weekend Adventures

We took Friday off to wait for the furnace man and work on the house. Amazingly, where last week's furnace man (who was not covered by our warranty) was all set to replace it rather than fix it, this week's man (who is covered by warranty) was able to fix it in no time flat. So we have heat, I was actually too warm one night. Ahh.

Saturday, I picked up a new foster dog, who we're calling Patty for the moment. We're hoping to find out what her name really is. Her people thought she was food agressive and could (after 9 years in their home) decide to bite their grandkids, since there's all this news about dogs attacking people. The dog is fat, so very fat, but not food agressive in the least, even around Alice, the queen of food agression.

We had dinner at this crazy crappy resturant attached to a seedy motel near our house because it was the only thing open. Our waitress was on speed, she talked a mile a minute asking over and over did we want some soup? It's split pea and very good do you mind if I sit down my back really hurts the soup is really good did I tell you that already? At one point she just walked outside and didn't come back for about 10 minutes, then the cook (Angel, this I know because our waitress kept shouting "Angel! I need a cheese kes-a-diya!") went out to his car. When we left she told us we could go out the back door, that she didn't care if the alarm went off.

Last night we went to Hot Pot City, where first a small baby with a very large (in stature) family fell from his carrier on top of a chair and hit the ground with a loud smack. Ouch! The parents decided to hold him for the rest of the meal so I got to watch as a large welt appeared on his forehead. As if that wasn't enough excitement, one of the hot plates caught on fire, and not just a little fire, but a decent-sized one. Most people were stunned, and just watched, myself included. Andrea jumped into action with a big spoon, meaning to turn the heat off but the adjuster wasn't working so at long last fine Hot Pot City employees appeared to make the flames go away.