Friday afternoons make me giddy. I can't help it. Earlier, I was laughing so much, it was all I could do to make it into a bathroom stall before exploding with mirth. That Amy cracks me up every time. You'd think that after 10 years of friendship, something would change, that we'd stop finding each other so damn funny, but we don't. Good thing because nobody else quite understands why Bob Barker is so damn cool.

"There is no diplomatic way to present anal leakage" -- my esteemed co-worker, Phil

I had a phine lunch, with Amy picking me up at my office. I'd been waiting a long time to say "it's just after Stryker Endoscopy." We travelled to Milpitas so I could pick up the Columbus Blue Jackets jersey I'd been wanting for months. I had thought for sure Andrea got it for me at Christmas and was doing her usual 'oh, I didn't get that for you' act, where I get all disappointed and then she surprises me on the day. But not this time, we both felt like assholes about it so I vowed to get one for myself. I bought one on ebay but when it came, I discovered it was a youth size (and I'm not) so I was back to square one.

I finally got one on ebay, not only did I get the one I wanted, I got the new version that hasn't been released in the US yet (the guy I got it from is in Canada, eh) so I'm totally stoked! The Milpitas drama was from a FedEx driver who 'couldn't find the house' so he brought it back. Fuckers! But Amy was nice enough to pick me up and take me to the FedEx place.

We also were lucky enough to find a resturant that didn't suck. I had been told that all resturants in Milpitas suck so we feel very lucky that McDonald's didn't let us down.

I keep hearing a noise outside my 6 inches of window that sounds like a bird. And then I realized, hey, that is a bird. I mean it this time, welcome to spring!

Max-amillion pounds is feeling better today but still barking his cute-ass head off. Our trainer friend Barb was nice enough to loan us some collars that either shock him or spray citronella in his face when he barks, hopefully those will have some impact. I put the citronella on him today, I heard the doggie equivalent of 'hey! what the fuck is that?' after every bark, but there was no cessation of barking so Mr. Max is in a crate today.

Wondering where the Mir space station is? Where is Mir? tells you. It's updated every minute.

Just walked back into my cube and noticed that it smells like stale farts. Good thing I brought that Febreeze.

Thank God for the 10-Second Manager: 10-Second Tips which include this gem: "Hire fast people. Look for people who are impatient, who have lots energy, who actually shake, wiggle, and bop in meetings." �10-Second Internet Manager

Like Andrea and so many ex-beyonders, I'd really like him to go away. He was certainly not the only one responsible for beyond's decline, other execs were right there with him, pissing money away like it was water, lost in the parties, the ads and the stupid promotions that only lost money. But he was most certainly at the helm (even if he couldn't download the software we were selling), approving the gross overspending without a care in the world.

Yes, folks, those were the good old days. When money was water and water was coffee.

Why can't he just go away???

Former Amazon.com Exec Launches New Angel Fund Fast Angels
LOS ALTOS HILLS, Calif. (VENTUREWIRE) -- Fast Angels Ventures, a consortium of 12 individual investors, announced the launch of the group's fund. General Partner Mark Breier, formerly an executive at Beyond.com and Amazon.com, said Fast Angels will invest in technology companies that improve business performance and that are located near major cities. Fast Angels said it intends to invest in 12 companies per year with an average investment of $500,000. Fast Angels' first portfolio company is Palo Alto, Calif.-based MultiDigit, a firm developing technology for data input into cell phones, handheld devices, and remote controls.

http://www.10secondmanager.com/fastangels/

After all the money he helped us piss away at beyond, you'd think that the last thing anyone would trust him with is money. Sheesh.

Everything you wanted to know about Passover is here: Kosher for Passover. Shalom!

For all of you looking for new hockey gear, here's a fitting guide.

It's sunny and 64 degrees here in lovely Santa Clara CA. While I respectfully acknowledge my friends who live in climates with actual winters, I'm still glad to live somewhere with virtually no weather. We have 2 seasons: shorts and jeans. Today marks my offical acceptance of shorts season. Hello and welcome to spring!

In case I'm not the only one considering a dish, my friends at MSN offer this Satellite TV comparison.

Brig's thoughts on digital cable made me re-think the issue. We'd had expanded basic cable in our old house and that was fine, everything we wanted. But where we live now, the cable service is this A/B switch bullshit, meaning that we have to get up and flip a switch to see half of our channels. We were all set to get digital cable but couldn't be home for the guy to come out so we cancelled. And a good thing. I took a good look at the channel lineup, at what $62.85 a month would get us and it's all shit!

But don't just take my word for it. Here's a sample:

BBC America (great, more sitcoms I don't understand)

Discovery Health (wow, 24 hours of surgery)

Insprirational Life Network (praise God)

Golf (sorry, Chris, I just can't watch it)

Need I say more? $62.85 for that? I think we're going with Direct TV where for $55 a month we get channels I want like ESPN Classic (I love that shit, it's all about NBA games from the 70's) and Lifetime Movie Network. But no matter how you cut it, it's still too damn much money to watch TV.

Poor Max, (the new foster beagle) he's not feeling well so he's been to the vet twice in 2 days. I think he's going to be okay, though. Phew!

Amy knows this guy, Josh Ritter and I must say, he's a fine singer so I not only bought his album, I bought the Jiggs Trucker hat for Amy. Enjoy!

I got the most bizarre piece of spam from these people. Why would you send spam about shrimp? Because everyone on the Internet eats, I guess.

This could be a good thing: ASSEMBLY BILL RE-ESTABLISHES CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS FOR ADULT ADOPTEES. The face of adoption has certainly changed since I was born in a home for unwed mothers, then adopted through a very closed procedure that denied me anything more than basic info. Today the birthparents and adoptive parents often meet, which is both very scary and very sweet. It opens up a greater margin of changed minds and second-guessing but also gives everyone involved a clear picture of what's going on. Still, I can't imagine my parents housing my birthmom while waiting for my arrival, let alone being present in the delivery room. 4 years after I found her, they're still not ready to meet her. That's just the way things were then and still are for our family.

Woo hoo! I'm a well-adjusted homo. Like I didn't already know that.

Doh! DoDots shuts down. Another one bites the dust.

And here I thought my dogs were demons, but no, this dog takes the cake. Note the careful assortment of stuffing on the floor behind him. Makes me glad I have old beagles.

Experimenting with the LizCam, hoping that a clever combination of an Altoids box and some post-it notes will make it work better. But right now all I can say for sure is that my hair is jacked up today.

In the good old days, when the economy was booming and we had a fine, liberal (albeit horny) president, I had no desire to be political. I didn't need to, Bill was doing a fine job, nothing was going to hell in a handbasket. But now that Monkey Boy is in office, I find myself paying attention to his antics and getting pissed off every time he opens his mouth.

In a way, it's good. I know more about what's going on in the world, but I wish it wasn't under these lousy circumstances.

Don't forget to send those bananas to the White House!

Talked to Patty's new family last night, in her first 7 hours with them she "insisted" on riding in the front seat of the car, "made" her new mom go outside with her to pee since it was raining and found her way to the couch. She'll be more spoiled than she was with us, what more could I ask for?

And Max, what a silly man. He's so fat he doesn't fit through the doggie door so he'll be in a crate until some of the weight comes off. Zeus and Alice look like sticks next to him. He's a great guy, though.

Remember the good old days, when troubled teens just killed themselves and not anyone else? Can't we go back to that instead of this shit? Several reported hurt in California school shooting.

If anyone watched Providence on Friday, the little pig who guest starred was from Lil Orphan Hammies A Piggy Sanctuary in California.

Woo hoo! Patty found a new home with a retired couple in Carmel. It only took 10 minutes for her to work her magic, she's already got them wrapped around her little paw. Hooray for Patty!

In other news, Max the beagle has joined our family. He's quite a bit overweight but the sweetest guy on the planet.