After about 10 minutes the Richmond train ('train for Richmond') came by and, after almost everyone around me said "is this the Richmond train?" we all got on the new train, which was much more crowded than the original, now Medical Emergency, train. Next to me was an old Chinese couple, but instead of speaking Chinese, they spoke in sign language. Wonder if that was in Chinese or English.

I forgot to mention that last week, a man in full mariachi garb, carrying his accordion, sat near me. My co-workers were once asked to look for a corpse (! a corpse!) on the BART. They also saw a man say to the couple near him "hold my bag" then stride up to the front of the car and deck a man who had evidently grabbed the ass of a nearby woman. Sometimes, it's just more excitement than should be allowed in one day.

In non-hell news, Amy and I are headed to Reno on Saturday for a mini-reprise of last years triumphant Road Trip, which culminated in a stay in Reno during Hot August Nights, where the town fills with everyone who owns an old chevy that they've turned into a hot rod. One or two of those cars are noteworthy, a town full was way too many. Even though we may miss Amy's buffet boyfriend, we're going one week earlier this year to avoid the hot-rod madness. We'll be staying at the lovely Nugget, or Nu-ghez, where we will be treated to a night with none other than Rich Little. Woo!

But then I decided to skip puppy school and go for the first day in the Women's League at Hockey Workout, the 3 on 3 place. Because there are only 3 teams in the league, one team always has to play 2 games back to back. This week, that was my team. Highlights included me slamming a woman against the boards, only to discover that the women don't do that like we do in co-ed and (this is my favorite) the first goal scored in the second game, me, on my own goal.

That night I was so hungry, I couldn't stop eating and was so tired I could barely stand. But I did it. 9 months ago, I couldn't skate, today I can play 3 games and take one class in 2 days and still be mobile (though quite slowly) on Monday. I think the next step now is for me to grow a mullet to complement my helmet.

Yes, it was the start of the space program, that the world has changed because of things developed. But what was all this for, this hubube about going to the moon in this decade and do those other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. So we scrambled, men died and we got there, left some trash and took some pictures.

She has, however, been very cool with Charlie the foster dog. She's appointed herself his guardian, wrestling with him and introducing him to the exciting world of being a dog. I think Charlie will be just fine.

Fuckin' A's

So please, if you get a dog, treat it like a family member. If you can't do that, don't get one so people like me aren't stuck cleaning up the mess of a nice dog that you made.

1. It's not my old job.
2. It's conveniently located across the street from Fairyland
3. I get to ride BART every day, giving me 40 minutes to sit and read or do nothing. You can't beat that.
4. The people kick ass. It's a lot like the good old days at beyond, though without quite as much flatulence (though a co-worker has Thoma's sweaty palms predicament that often results in brown keybards and the like, my current co-worker solves this with keyboard condoms).
5. Travelling to a different city 40 miles from home is like going to a new world every day for part of the day, then returning to my exciting life in San Jose.

But I'm a shitload happier now. My old job was wrong for me and everyone around me. We all knew it, I'm just glad it's over and I'm here, with my confidence restored, on the shores of lovely Lake Merritt, mere steps from Fairyland.

Rudy, on Colby: "If he felt so good about her, what he should have done was took the million and buy her a Cadillac to keep her happy."

Rudy, on the cast of Survivor 2: "Well, they had to be dumb. They built their camp in a riverbed. They had to be real dumb.
"And they ran out of rice. I took charge of the rice when I got on 'Survivor.' I said, 'I'll take charge of this and it'll last till the end.' And it did."

Rudy, on Rich: "When we parted I shook his hand. 'It was nice knowin' you. Don't ever call me and I won't call you.' I can't afford havin' a queer callin' me."

One day!

Friday night I went with Amy to the Ani DiFranco concert in lovely Berkeley. Being the Bay Area natives that we are, we took Bart up, her from the city and me from work in Oakland. When I got off the train, I saw a number of very hip-looking dykes with all manner of short hair and clothes I could never pull off (things with chains, big boots, baggy shorts that are frayed at the end, knit caps and more). I felt so straight among the crowd that I told Amy, I may as well suck dick, I'm so straight compared to these people. It was loads of fun and I did manage to find my orange colored glasses, which made me feel slightly less likely to date a man. Around 12:30 am, I rolled in to some pissed off dogs (a friend had stopped by to give them dinner) but I just told them to hush, that I deserve a life, too, ye bastards.

I spent the weekend running around getting things for various home improvement projects that are going on while Andrea's out of town (she returns on Friday, for those who were wondering) then doing those projects. Rainie is ever so helpful, wanting to stand between anything I'm working on and me. It was a fine weekend, though I was hit by extreme lonliness Saturday night. Linea came to my rescue and we had a fine dinner of frozen pizza at her new big-ass house. It was the perfect cure for my moment of lonlieness and it spurred me into action.

Sometimes I think this single living business is for the birds and sometimes it's really cool. I think it's only cool because I know it will end on Friday and I'll once again have someone to talk to and to help me walk the dogs (who are WAY too much for me to handle by myself out in public. Right now, Zeus' nickname is little asshole man).

Last night I subbed in for another hockey team in our league (we don't have a game until 7/16!). I had my first assist and we could have totally kicked ass but we only had enough kids for 2 lines and the other team, though slower, had 4 so they got much more time to rest. We just had enough time to feel like we needed more rest. But it was great fun and the Ice Hawks had their first win at our expense. They're a bunch of folks from my beginner hockey class so I was happy for them.

In other hockey news, I start the intermediate class on Saturday. After 3 sessions in the beginner, it's about damn time! I also start in the Women's league at Hockey Workout, home of the 2/3 sized rink and hot 3-on-3 hockey action. It's going to be a big weekend.

In other ways, she's not.

Our most recent vet trip revealed overall good health, but something weird going on with her legs, there's a calcium deposit on the inside of her knees that may or may not mean something. And today, what I presume was urine was leaking from her nether regions, though she barked on and on as if it was in fact, something else.

It seems like a good time to recall what Ellie taught me: every day you have with someone you love is a gift. You'd better enjoy it.

It was eerie last night, with Andrea gone and the dog's already at the friend's house where they'll stay this weekend. The only mammals in the house were me and Bennie, the guinea pig. I had no idea how much noise that little dude makes, with 3 dogs shifting and snoring, often the only thing I hear is Zeus snoring not the happy squeaks of Bennie eating hay.

I could barely sleep and even with the long wait at long term parking, I was still early. My flight was oversold, they offered travel credit for volunteers so I was first in line. I didn't realize that it would take the one guy designated to hand out the new tickets and vouchers 40 minutes for each person ahead of me. Two flights to Denver came and went while I waited.

After over 2 hours, I found a sympathetic ticket agent who put bumped someone else to put me on the next flight to Chicago. I may miss part of the reunion party but I'll catch part of it. Which will most likely be enough.

Last night I'd looked for my CD player all over the house. I was all set to buy a new one when I found it, in plain sight on the kitchen table. Relieved, I put it in my bag. When we were finally in the air, I opened to put a CD in. There it was. Sting's Brand New Day. I'd bought it last fall and hadn't seen it in some time. It caught me off guard and I started to cry.

October 8, the day Ellie died, we left the emergency vets with empty arms, with only Alice and Ellie's collar and leash to carry us along. I called a couple of friends from outside the hospital until I thought I could drive (Andrea had driven on the way there as I held a screaming Ellie, wrapped in a towel in my arms in the back seat). As I started the car, Brand New Day came on. A sad and sweet song with a hypnotic beat, it seemed the perfect song. Andrea told me to turn it off, but ever since, I've thought of it as Ellie's song. I suppose I'll always associate it with her death, but more with the part that came after, when I was waiting for strength that didn't come in front of the vet hospital, knowing her body was inside, that I'd never hold her or give her McDonald's again.

Today, when I saw that CD, it broke my heart in a small way. Opened up a wound that seems to have healed when I wasn't looking. Maybe it's the passage of time or the fact that I never have to go back to that job I hated. I don't know but am grateful to have arrived at this point. Maybe it's like the moment new mothers finally forget the pain of childbirth and think of having another one. She's always in my heart and the mention of her name still brings tears to my eyes. But I'm okay and she is too.

I had hoped that some folks who weren't my friends then would find me worthy of their attention and for the most part, they did. There was one group of gaunt fluffies who clung to one another but for the most part, the kids were pretty darn friendly.

More later, my party self is butt-tired and ready to call it a day.