Finally, a huge step in the quest for equal (note: Equal does NOT mean special, just equal) rights for gay people: Dog attack victim's partner can sue owners means that the surviving partner of the woman killed by that nasty dog in January can sue. Well, no shit, she should be able to. That dog took away a portion of the household income forever, never mind the emotional side of having your partner mauled to death by a trained attack dog.

Big Brother Rap Sheets only prove that my least favorite houseguests are slimier than I'd even imagined. That Shannon killed a man in a traffic accident and didn't even say she was sorry (I'm sure she isn't) to the family. Nice.

Just returned from El Chiropractor, who I hadn't visited in months. She noticed that the muscles in my back are toned now and exclaimed at my now-toned calves. Hockey is such a good thing. I think I'm going to start going to the gym so I can improve my shot. Go figure.

The gift that keeps on giving:

Thanks Rob! You rock!

In case you didn't know, HTML hell is where there are beveled edges on the bottom of a dynamically filled table.

In non-hell news, Amy and I are headed to Reno on Saturday for a mini-reprise of last years triumphant Road Trip, which culminated in a stay in Reno during Hot August Nights, where the town fills with everyone who owns an old chevy that they've turned into a hot rod. One or two of those cars are noteworthy, a town full was way too many. Even though we may miss Amy's buffet boyfriend, we're going one week earlier this year to avoid the hot-rod madness. We'll be staying at the lovely Nugget, or Nu-ghez, where we will be treated to a night with none other than Rich Little. Woo!

My deepest apologies to John, who was offended that Blogger had tourette's and posted my last post 3 times. I have corrected the problem, the tourette's is now under control.

There's a thread on my women in hockey mailing list right now called 'Playing with Men.' Am I the only one who finds that funny?

Tourette's mentioned in the Big Brother house: Joker's Big Brother Updates

Or, if you'd like to create your own art masterpiece, BRI HOME brings you the best of Bob Ross, Inc.

Looking for some fine art? Here's the place to get some!

Here's something I just don't know how to handle: say you're just about to kick off some great sex and the phone rings. You could let it go, but say it's your mom and the sound of her voice on the machine in the next room would ruin the mood. So you answer the phone and you're right, it *is* your mom. You make a lame (though plausible) excuse about going out for breakfast but she won't hang up. It's as if she's glued to the phone until you concede that you do, in fact have time to talk to her. Meanwhile, your partner has started without you and talking to mom becomes increasingly more distracting. At what point, if ever, is it polite to say 'mom, I'm trying to have sex here, can I call you back?'

Have a little spare time on your hands? Discover why Flash was invented -- Jesus Dress Up!. Link courtesy of Ann and Mike.

Have a little spare time on your hands? Discover why Flash was invented -- Jesus Dress Up!. Link courtesy of Ann and Mike.

Non-stop hockey
It was week 2 of my intermediate hockey class (I took beginner 3 times so this move, more than getting onto a EE league team, was my greatest hockey triumph to date). This class is much more intense than beginner, a lot of the same stuff but much much faster. The first day, we did the Iron Cross (can't find any links about it, so I'll explain -- on a face off circle, skate forward to the top. Stop, skate backwards to the middle. Walk, crossing foot over foot, to the left side. Walk to the other side of the circle, then back to the middle. Skate backwards to the bottom of the circle, stop. Skate forwards around the edge, pivot at the top (a bad fall at this pivot inspired me to upgrade my ass pads), then skate backwards the rest of the way, stopping at the bottom. Skate forwards in the direction you just came from, pivot at the top, skate backwards, then stop. So.. in 3 terms of beginner, I did a total of 3 Iron Crosses. On my first day of intermediate, I did 4 of these. This week, thinking that I'd go to our last day of puppy school (a largely failed attempt) I went hard through the class.

But then I decided to skip puppy school and go for the first day in the Women's League at Hockey Workout, the 3 on 3 place. Because there are only 3 teams in the league, one team always has to play 2 games back to back. This week, that was my team. Highlights included me slamming a woman against the boards, only to discover that the women don't do that like we do in co-ed and (this is my favorite) the first goal scored in the second game, me, on my own goal.

That night I was so hungry, I couldn't stop eating and was so tired I could barely stand. But I did it. 9 months ago, I couldn't skate, today I can play 3 games and take one class in 2 days and still be mobile (though quite slowly) on Monday. I think the next step now is for me to grow a mullet to complement my helmet.

John asked for it, so here it is: a picture that absolutely defies comment.