Here's a great reason to store old appliances in your yard: "As he heard us, he sprang to up and appeared he was going to run, but an inoperable refrigerator was blocking his way". Not only that, but "The suspect was carrying a potato peeler and a folded map of the Sacramento area," which if you ask me, are the bare essentials of life.

While hunting feverishly for a Love Boat Screensaver that I have yet to find, I found some great pictures of boats. Enjoy!


12 years ago today, my friend Jos was killed. I've come to regard this day with great reverence and also superstition. I've been dumped on this day, and had other horrifying things happen on around this day (2 years ago, my mom's dog, literally the center of her life, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Today, he's totally beaten the odds and the tumor seems to have regressed), so I enter each August 29 with great caution.

So far, nothing has happened, but it's only 11:13 am so I'm remaining cautious.

I'm also pausing a moment to remember Jos, a wonderful person who left this earth far too soon. Rather than repeat myself, here's what I had to say last year on this day.


I'm working at home and Rainie sauntered into my bedroom, where she isn't usually allowed to go (this way, we have one room where we don't have to stress about picking every little thing off the floor). I followed her in to usher her out and sat down to pet her (sometimes, I just can't help it). She wouldn't let me pet her and kept giving the fan the Evil Eye. She walked out of the room then came back, all the while trying to stare the fan down.

Her charms did not work, the fan is still there, so she ran off, barking in frustration.

'Erwin, I think we've won Powerball' . Enjoy your new truck and trips to NASCAR races, Erwin!

This is great! Next year there will be 2 stamps that say 'Spay your pet' and 'Neuter your pet' thanks to the hard work of the Prevent a Litter Coalition (PaLC). Let this be a reminder to all of you to make sure the pets in your own lives (even if they're indoor-only) are spayed and neutered. Not only does it lower the birth rate, preventing unwanted animals from entering the world into an uncertain fate, but it eliminates the risk of many reproductive-related cancers in male and female animals.

Face it kids, it's the right thing to do. Don't have the money? Ask your vet for a discount or a referral to a low-cost spay/neuter clinic. Your local shelter should also have some kind of reduced-rate program.

My Weekend Adventure
The weekend started off by me waking up with chest pains. Fearing the worst, but always practical, I got up, put in my contacts and fed the dogs before telling Andrea we had to go to the ER. Once there, it was amazing how quickly we were ushered in once I said "chest pains." Bypassing the bowel issues lady and the guy with a big bandage on his head, we headed into the bowels of the ER.

It took 3 hours, 4 different hospital people and 30 times of me telling Andrea no, she couldn't look into my ear with the ear thing before they told me I'd pulled a muscle in my chest and I could go home now with Motrin in hand (and I relented, givng Andrea a chance to see the money shot of my eardrum). As soon as they said it was just a muscle I was ready to get the hell out of there and back to playing hockey but no, I had to rest for at least one day (though the doctor told me a week).

And it was a good thing I rested. Our playoff game was great, even though we lost, we played a great game and I took a shot on goal against the toughest team in the league. The best part was having a large cheering section in the stands. Thanks to everyone who came!!


I can't help but think that "NS6.1 may be the missing link Netscape has needed in order to grab back a decent chunk of market share" is a bunch of hooey. But see for yourself what this guy has to say about it.

I was a happy Netscape user for a long time, refusing to look at IE or even use Outlook. But it soon became clear that IE is just a better product, these days it's much less of a little bitch to the pages I work on than Netscape has become.

Man, people suck sometimes. These two dogs are currently tied to a tree with electrical cords in a backyard. The rescue can't take them in because they've never had any shots and could transmit a host of diseases to other dogs. The good news is, they'll get into foster care before too long.


I am not the only Bob Barker fan out there - Bunky from Big Brother 2 is one also! Check it out!

For everything you've wanted to know about Tourette's.

For the most part, I really enjoy taking Bart to work, even if means about 20 minutes longer commute time. In theory I could take the Express 180 Fremont BART-San Jose bus to Bart, but the bus alone makes a 20 minute trip into a 55 minute one, putting my total commute time at 3+ hours per day.

Public transportation is great when done right, when it's not, it's a bus.

Any other hockey fans out there looking for a lot of info on the USA National Women's Ice Hockey Team will find it on these excellent tribute pages.

Last night, I had the priveledge of going to The Bamboo Hut to see the most excellent band, Project Pimento strut their stuff, which includes a Theramin, played expertly by the husband of a woman I work with. Erik and I sported Hawaiian shirts and drank the girliest of drinks from flaming volcanoes and coconuts while Andrea found a boyfriend who was in search of the bus station in San Jose.

When her boyfriend was escorted out, he said "I get this a lot." It was a Fan-tabulous evening.

Per a request for a listing of the things involved in Alice's weeked at the vet (aka Camp Al), here's a brief rundown. 24 hours in an oxygen cage, IV antibiotics and fluids, 2 sets of x-rays to add to her collection at the vet's and nebutilization and decoupaging her every 4-6 hours. Basically that last thing is filling a room (or cage) with steam to loosen the gunk in her chest, then pounding on her back till she coughs.


Alice's lung is clearing up!! The antibiotics are working in combination with ThwapMaster T (aka Andrea) thumping her back twice a day. She's going to be on antibiotics for a while but there won't be any big scary surgery in her future!!! I've never been so happy about an x-ray before.

The grand total for the repairs to my beloved VW are going to come to over $3000.00. All that for one lousy piece of Road Debris. Good thing I called my insurance company.

How it is when you know someone's looking What it's really like

Price for adopting Alice: Free
Cost of weekend at the emergency vet: $1163.00
Having her home and healthy: Priceless

So this weekend, Miss Alice got very sick and cost us a bundle to make better. An $1163.00 bundle, to be exact. That money could have been part of our much-needed electricity upgrade, 1/3 of a hot tub, 2 months of dinners out, Rainie's continuing orthopedic vet visits, 3 car payments, 1/5 of a decent down payment on a car or a full set of new hockey gear. But it wasn't, instead it saved Alice's life.

I know not everyone would make the same choice, not everyone can. Dogs are put down every day because their owners can't afford the treatment. But that's not the case for us, that money just means slightly different choices about spending going forward (and more dinners in). And most importantly, it means that Alice is here with me, snoozing on her Queen Bed as I work.


Ahh yes, true brilliance is lighting up the night sky in my home town. Homeowner finds washed-up burglary suspects in pond.

A week ago, on my way to the Bart Station, (this one time, at band camp...) a big piece of wood flew off of a flatbed truck and directly into my path. I drove right over it with a loud bang, but since the car kept moving, so did I, dutifully noting the name of the trucking company (Garcia Trucking). That night, I noticed that the front of my car was all jacked up.

Turns out, Mr. Garcia Trucking's loose debris messed up my grill, undercarriage, air conditioning and possibly something with the hood. My insurance covers part of this and a fine rental car for 15 days, if I need it for that long.

I dropped off my beloved VW and picked up a fine rental Mazda (thankfully, it's not white). The woman tried to talk me into upgrading to a less crappy Mazda or Mitsubishi. I told her I'd drive an SUV or a wagon, if she had them but she didn't. So she kept offering crappier Mitsubishis and Mazdas. There was no offer of a Ford or a Chevy though.

Bottom line: I'm a VW person. Sometimes I try to deny it, but the truth is, I feel the most comfortable in a VW. To me, they're safer, more hip, faster and more solid than any of those "rental" cars. My Passat should make her triumphant return to my driveway in a week or so, where she'll be given the respect any decent VW product deserves.

For all fans of the Dublin Bowl, a sad day has come to pass with the loss of Earl Anthony, "A True Sports Legend And A Real Gentleman." My co-worker will be adding black bunting in mourning to his lovely Earl Anthony margarita glasses in honor of the loss.

I'm so sad to hear that Jesse Helms won't seek re-election. Really. What good is the senate without staunch supporters of all things right-wing? Would it magically become a compassionate, caring entity devoted solely to the good of the people, without hate, ignorance or oppression?

Doubt it, but the retirement of Mr. Helms can only be a positive step.


Magnut's Top 10 books has got me thinking. I was an English major, a born writer (note: I make no claims about the quality of my writing, it's just something I have to do, like peeing) and read voraciously. But now that I'm out of school (and have been for 6 years), I can't read anything but current fiction. If it took place recently, I'm all for it. If it's historical fiction, or could be remotely considered as such, I want no part of it. Set in a foreign country? It's all yours.

So here's my top 10, which features no classics or anything you'd be forced to read in a literature class. Not that those are bad books, I just can't bear to pick any of them up again yet.

I'm afraid 9 is the most I can come up with for the moment. I do read books by men, but I guess the ones I enjoy the most are written by women.

I can't help it, Anal Glands (Sacs): Impactions, Infections, Abscesses is just funny, especially that drawing.

Yes, this is part of life as a dog parent, yes we have to have Alice's expressed every month or so, but that doesn't stop it from being funny.

I'm not sending an evite
However, we are having a thing on Sunday, after my hockey game (which starts at 4:15 pm on Sunday, August 26 at the Ice Centre of San Jose). Come to the game and cheer us to a certain defeat, then come to our house for some barbeque, midwestern style. As always, we'll be vegetarian-friendly, but the focus will be on meat and meat products, as well as an assortment of traditional midwestern side dishes.

Planning to attend? Drop me a line so I can buy some food for your ass.


The weekend from hell
Friday at 7 pm, I'm working from home, it's 90 degrees outside and I'm trying to work until 8. I notice that Alice is panting. Hard. Stupid me, I had a flashback to when Bagel was with us and he panted like that from the heat. I'd given him a bath and it cooled him off so I tried the same thing with Al. Only she wasn't hot, she had pneumonia again, the third time in a year. She emerged from her bath shivering and breathing hard.

I rushed her to the doggie ER, where they didn't even talk to me, they just whisked her off to an oxygen cage. I walked away, her leash in my hand and couldn't quite get to my car before I starting crying. She spent 24 hours in that cage, getting IV antibiotics and various treatments. We went by Saturday at noon to visit her, she was still breathing hard and couldn't wait to get back inside to the oxygen cage. Saturday night, we picked her up and settled the $1163.00 bill. The doctor there wanted us to consider removing the lobe of her lung that's been having the problem, since it never really cleared up. That is our last resort.

She still wasn't breathing very well and we debated at length about whether or not to take her back to the ER, but eventually decided to just let her sleep in our room, that she was wiped out and needed to rest. She settled down next to me, still breathing a bit hard. At 5 am, I woke up and reached to pet her, to make sure she was still with us.

She didn't move. Her skin was warm, but she wasn't moving. I called her name and she didn't respond. I called Andrea's name, she did respond. I reached to turn on the light and by the time I reached back to Alice, she had stirred ever so slightly. Even then, she could barely do more than lift her head. I said the magic word (treat) and even that only got her up a little, not into the full run that it usually provokes. We spent the rest of the night in the office, her on the futon with me, me laying awake, listening to her breathe and praying (yes, praying) to every saint and every person (and Ellie) I've lost to watch over her and help that lobe clear. I finally fell asleep only to be awaked at 8 am (on a Sunday!) by some yahoo wanting to adopt a beagle.

The antibiotics are starting to kick in, by the end of yesterday, she was arroooing on the phone to Melinda. We're now sitting with her 3 times a day in the bathroom with a humidifier, then clapping her on the back to loosen the gunk in her lungs. She hates it but if it can save her lung (and her life), that's what we'll do.

If you pray, please keep Alice's little lung in your prayers. If you think good thoughts, please think good thoughts for Alice. If you do anything that connects you with any outside force that might be able to help Alice's lung clear, please make that connection on her behalf. She may be almost 12, but she's still got a lot of living to do.


I don't want to burst the bubble or make it end, but I have to take a moment and give thanks to whoever wants them for my job. Finally, after 3 failed or failing startups, I've found the kind of place Beyond was way back when. The people are great, funny, self-confident, entertaining and good at what they do. The work is the most challenging HTML work I've ever done but I'm getting it done.

It's just what I needed. My last job was steeped in an unkindness and uncertainty that made everyone I was around mean. It's worth the Bart adventures and the contracting agency that is baffled by simple math. Working at home is great but I miss my friends when I'm not there. Woo hoo!

Last week on the way to work a large piece of wood flew off of a flatbed truck and landed in front of my car, where I had no choice but to run it over. It knocked off the grill and undercarriage of my car and killed the air conditioning. I filed an insurance claim and an now at their mercy. Yuck.

Another group of great incontinence products, including the Ellipse-Chair, A breakthrough in urodynamic measurement precision.

As a service to my readers with severe fecal incontinence, I provide you with the following link: First-of-its-Kind Implant Provides Alternative to Colostomy For Persons with Severe Fecal Incontinence.

Something that ought to be a joke: the bumper dumper. Thanks Brad

I've been working from home the last two days. I think the best part is being able to hang out with the dogs. This morning 20 pound Alice decided that she's quite fierce. She stood at the door barking her teeny bark and growling her teeny growl for a good five minutes as I chuckled beside her, assuring her that I was *very* scared.


I just told the people who were supposed to adopt Charlie that they couldn't have him. The guy didn't seem excited at all, they wanted to see if he was 'a match' for them but weren't going to buy anything for him until we knew.'

Sorry bud, I want every dog I place to have a bed waiting for them when they get there.

The tenative time for my hockey team's playoff game is Sunday, August 26 at 4:15 pm. We'll be playing Mercury Rising at the Ice Centre at San Jose. Please join Andrea for some shouting and just maybe cheer the Snow Cones to victory. Or at least to a less brutal defeat than we suffered the last time we played Mercury.

Getting a second opinion
Our vet has referred us to another vet, a knee specialist, for Rainie. Unfortunately, the next open appointment isn't until Sept. 17, Andrea's birthday. We're on the waiting list for a cancellation though.

This doctor has a reputation for fixing knees without invasive surgery so I'm open to whatever he has to say. Here's hoping for good news...


Anyone who knows me knows that I've always wanted to have a child. Granted, I'd always imagined it would be the old-fashioned way, but once I discovered that I was gay, that changed. Lately, we'd been thinking of how nice it would be to adopt a child from China -- most likely the child would bear some semblance to Andrea and with so many children in the world needing homes, it seemed like the best way to go.

However, reading the Adoption Process in China, I learned that's not an option. One of the items you must provide to the Chinese government is "A copy of your marriage certificate, or a statement that you are single, not homosexual, and hope to marry some day."

I'm so pissed off, I can't even speak. Looks like we'll be making that trip to the sperm bank after all.

Today, I'm in a better mindset about Rainie's foot. After all, it's not life -threatening and she gets around just fine, tearing around the house like a madman at all times. What's hardest, I think, is people (dear friends, so far) referring to her as special needs (at best) or (my mom) handicapped. She's really not, it's more like the opposite of being pigeon-toed, which, to the best of my knowledge does not allow people to get handicapped parking spaces.

I'll start calling doctors soon to see what the options are, if there are any. In the meantime, Rainie is fine, better than fine. She's perfect.

Charlie's home sort of fell through. I was supposed to take him yesterday but I didn't connect with the people until I was on my way to work, it was too late then. While they're very nice folks, it sounds like they have a ton of stuff going on and won't be able to give him the attention he deserves. I think I'm going to tell them to hold off until their lives have settled down.

What I want for every dog is a family as excited about getting a dog as we were about getting Alice and Rainie (Zeus was a surprise, so we didn't have that buildup). I could hardly contain myself, the day we went to the pet store to get Alice's bed, treats, leash, collar, etc. was one of the best days of my life. If you aren't that excited, you just can't have one of my dogs. Sorry.


Another quick trip down memory lane: Beyond.com Ate My Balls

Every company needs to have a Fez Museum. Hell, everyone needs a Fez.

A small tribute to last summer:

I'm trying not to stress about Rainie's foot problem. It boils down to her elbow having a little bit too much space in it so her foot turns out. In humans, I think this is corrected with a brace, so I ask why not in Rainie? It would be hard to keep one on her, I know, but if we can figure out a way for her bones to grow into the right placement, it's worth a shot. That sounds a lot better than a lifetime of pain.

After all the heartache of loving and losing Ellie, after the many late nights with Alice at the emergency vet (though now that I think about it, literally ALL of them are related to her insatiable, insane appetite, whether it's from getting into something unknown and potentially harmful or getting aspiration pneumonia from throwing up something potentially harmful), I had such high hopes for Rainie.

Just this once, we're raising a puppy. Our commitment to senior dogs remains strong, but I wanted to do this once. I blindly assumed that because she was raised with a tremendous amount of love and ample medical care (thanks Dena!) that she'd be perfect. And she is. She has NO issues, doesn't bark too much, doesn't get into food obsessively, doesn't have separation anxiety, she is the happiest dog I've ever met. Not only that, she's appointed herself foster mom to our foster dogs, housebreaking Charlie, teaching him how to be a dog.

But now she has a lame foot (I know, how lame is that?) that could cause her great pain or slow her down. In addition, it could make people think it's okay to feel sorry for her (or us) or make stupid comments like "she has a deformed foot" that piss me off. I just wanted her to have the perfect life, free from pain and pity.

We're certainly equipped to handle this both mentally and as far as our house (Andrea built a lovely ramp to the doggie door for her, we don't really have steps) goes. But please send healthy wishes to Ms. Rainie Roooooooo, the cutest basset ever.

It's true, now that summer's in full swing, there's nothing good on TV, so we've turned to TV Land for a full lineup of quality shows, including my newly rediscovered favorite: Love Boat. I'm sure when the fall season starts up again, I'll dive back into my regularly scheduled programming.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover...
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Basset Hound: It's not edible. I think I'll just....... ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...
Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: how long will it be before I can expect light???

I'm too bummed to write this myself, so I'll let Rainie tell you how our morning at the Orthopedic vet went:

Rainie here. I got up early this morning and ate my breakfast, as usual, slowly and with great consideration from the safety of my crate so Alice and Zeus can't steal all of my food. Anyway, as soon as I was done, Liz shuffled me out the door and into the car. It was just me and her, I didn't understand why there were no other dogs around so I whined a bit in the car.

We went to a vet's office where I'd never been before. They were all very nice until this vet tech came up to me, to tell me how cute I am (as everyone who meets me should), but she also said "and you've got a deformed foot, but you can't help that." Mommy Liz almost starting crying, she was so upset that my foot isn't quite right and that the lady thought it was okay to say that. I'm just a pup, I don't know that word but Mommy Liz didn't seem to like it so I didn't either.

I had to walk up and down a hallway for a nice man (Liz said he was an orthopedic vet, but I didn't care as long as he gave me treats) at a slower pace than usual. That was hard, I usually run at full speed or lay down, there's no in between.

They wanted me to hold still in a funny position for some x-rays but I wasn't having that. Eventually they gave me something that made me very very sleepy so I could hold still. They took a bunch of pictures of my legs, then sent me back to my Mom, but I was too tired to wag my tail.

The vet told Mom that lots of things look really good, my bones are growing together like they're supposed to and I'm still growing. But, he didn't really have any advice about how to fix my leg, other than to put me on pain mediciation. Mom doesn't think that's a good idea since I'm only 7 months old. She's going to see if the vets out at UC Davis can help me walk easier. She doesn't think that just giving up is the thing to do for me and I agree. I need to make the most of every chance I have to tear around the house like a madman.

Please tell my mom to cheer up, she seems pretty upset about all this and I'm still way to drugged to help her out with my wagging tail or silly barks.

I've head about this diet for dogs, that it's a really good thing for them, but the Bones And Raw Food Diet (aka BARF) just sounds so far out there (and so much more effort) from what we do now that I'm not sure I want to give it a shot. An interesting thought, though.


Snow Cones: 5, Spiders: 2
It was a fabulous game, the best game I've played to date. Though I didn't have any assists or a much-coveted goal, I was extremely scrappy and managed to force a few turnovers. My two best moments involved using the Force. The first time, I skated right behind their left defenseman, hot on his tail, hoping to lift his stick and snag the puck. But I didn't have to. My presence alone was enough to make him fall down (I was NOT touching him) and relinquish control of the puck. This happened not once, but twice. I was laughing so hard.

I want to thank my audience, Andrea, Holly, Kevin, and my youngest fan, Leo. Having you guys there made me want to (and do) play better than I ever had before.

We're off to the playoffs in two weeks!!!


If my hockey team wins on Sunday, we're headed to the playoffs! Of course, we'll be the #8 seed and have to play the #1 team, who beat us 15-0 last week but at least we'd get there in our first season!

Any snow cones fans looking for some action this weekend, head out to the Ice Center of San Jose Sunday at 2:15 pm to cheer us on. Feel free to shout and bring "GO CONES!" signs to display proudly.

I'm feeling better today. You could say almost human. I will play hockey again one day soon! My work-sponsored lapotop died yesterday, I'm currently using a loaner that pretty much sucks. Oh well.


It's a sad day. I am forced to admit that, despite my great enthusiasm, I am still far too sick to go to the women's pickup hockey game tonight. Please join me in a moment of silence in great sorrow for having to miss doing something I have come to love dearly.

The regular vet (okay, some weird stand-in vet since our vet only seems to work part time anymore) has no idea what's wrong with Rainie's leg. We could've taken x-rays today but I opted for a yet-to-be-scheduled visit to the orthopedic vet. She wiggled like crazy while the woman was trying to look at her. Even with 3 of us holding her down, she was a maniac. Zeus whined softly in support of her plight, and tried to jump onto the table to help out.

My current job is a contract and while I adore the folks I'm working with, my agency has been less than great. First they screwed up my paycheck, forgetting to send it. Then the forgot to send the next one, on top of that, it bounced. My bank ran it through again and it finally went through. Now they've discovered that they were, in fact, paying me too much and are issuing me a small check this time to recover their costs. Folks, paychecks are not algebra, and they're not even taking out any taxes. Damn, could ya get it right already???


I can't help it if some people are just that dumb: Truth or conspiracy: Lunar landing.

Lest you think that my whole life is commuting on BART -- it's not. Here's a brief sampling of what's been going on:

I'm sick like a dog. Though I don't know quite what that means, since for the most part my dogs are healthy. I feel miserable but felt obliged to come into the office rather than work from home so at least I had the chance to share my misery with my fellow Bart riders.

Rainie is walking funny, on the inside of her foot. She's also not feeling well and not very interested in eating. We're headed to the vet tomorrow, I'll keep you posted.

Work is very very busy so I haven't had much time to blog. My apologies, but I'd rather be busy working hard at a place I love than be busy trying not to panic at the nastiness that surrounded me at my last job. Incidentally, 2/3 of my previous company was recently laid off and my former boss is considering abandoning her career in management for beauty school.

My contracting agency is shaky at best, they're fucked around with my paychecks quite a bit. First, they weren't on time, then one of them didn't clear at first but finally cleared yesterday. It's all making me very nervous about them.


Another exciting moment in Bart history
Today was kind of a slow day. Good thing because I'm fighting a losing battle with a cold/flu-like thing. The only truly interesting thing was the man who got on with a huge roll of green industrial-strength carpet, complete with the horrible strips of wood with little nails in them that hold the stuff down, all rolled up together. What I don't get is why carpet man can sit in the first car but the guy with the bike was told to go anywhere but the first car.

In other news, Rainie is having issues with her foot -- she seems to be walking almost on her ankle instead of her foot pads. We're headed to the vet on Thursday to see what the story is. I have visions of a life with braces and other foot-moving products. Little doggie special shoes and the like. Two of her siblings have torn cruciate ligaments, so I'm wondering if this is related to that.


Today's Bart adventure
We had the whitest Bart driver alive, but she announced each stop in remarkably accent-free Spanish, for the great benefit of the 3 spanish speakers on the train. "Dublin y Pleasanton" "San Fransisco y Colma."


Lest the world not continue without a little porn for everyone: Geek Porn.

Today's Grand Bart Adventure
If I don't start having a real life outside of commuting, I'll be forced to convert my blog into a Bartblog.

Next to me today were two guys speaking the thickest jive I've ever heard. The only words I could make out were 'bitch' and 'size 34,' though I tried valiantly. As I got off the train, I decided to add money to my ticket so I didn't have to later. This is a mistake, downtown Oakland is no place to wave $20 bills around. There was a man standing in front of the ticket machine, posturing as if he was going to buy a ticket. He asked if I had 30 cents. Seeing the pile of pennies in his hand, I guessed incorrectly that he was actually trying to buy a ticket. Oh no, he was just begging. TOok the 50 cents I offered for a Bart ticket that he had no intention of buying and ran off. Fucker.

I'm grumbling to myself as I come up the stairs out of the station (this is perfectly accpeptable in lovely Oakland, especially near any Bart station entrance. It gets less acceptable as you get farther away.) and another nice man comes up and asks me for money. He's sporting an I heart Jesus lanyard and seems to understand when I (determined not to be duped again) say no. He asks if I'm going to work, what I do ("You build web pages? You must be smart!) and says he wants a soda and a bag of chips. I think we all do on some level. At this point I'm feeling sort of guiltly, or at least akward because I'm headed to the ATM to make a big deposit. I seem him again a block later, he's gathered enough for his snack so all is well with the world.


Yesterday's BART Adventure
The time is 6:39 pm, the train is leaving at 6:43 and I'm still on the 22nd floor, 2.5 blocks from the train station. The elevator gods are with me and I get on right away. I walk briskly out of the building then burst into a run once I get outside. The bank clock says 6:44 but I know it's not in synch with BART, so I keep running. I manage to fish my ticket out of my pocket and get through the turnstile, still running. I vault down the 2 level escalator, where I see a train sitting there and, as I get further down, I see the letter T on the board, for the Fremont train. My train. The doors are open and I'm still 6 steps away, still running. I put on an extra burst of speed as I reach the platform floor, crashing through the closing door and catching my foot on the door but still making it in time to catch stunned glances from the other folks on the train. I huffed and puffed for 1/2 the ride but made it home on time.


Looking for free stickers? Here's the place!

Looking for free stickers? Here's the place!

Now that I'm working in the 22nd floor, I spend a bit of time in elevators and am forced to think of things to amuse me on the ride. My current project is a series of phrases, all said with a straight face, that will force any stranger in the elevator to turn around with a look of stunned horror. Currently, the repetoire includes the hits "Man, I sure could use some weed right about now" "Hey, do you have any of that crack left from last night." and "I'm thinking of becoming a man, what do you think?"

I tested the crack one on the lone employee of the company we sublease space from who sits on our side. Jeff Ex is his name, or so we think. This has spawned great discussion of the line of products Jeff Ex is sure to create, most of them centered around the porn industry. Anyway, Jeff Ex (who has been seen eating a lonely banana at his desk) was rather amused so I know we're on the right track. Now if I just had some crack....