I am SO ready for the weekend. Yesterday, I concentrated so hard that my left butt cheek hurts from sitting in one place for so long and I only ate a teeny bit of Stove Top stuffing all day, not realizing until about 6 pm that I was hungry. At hockey class after work, I caught my left outside edge (I'm never sure if this happens because it's warm outside and pretty much impossible for the ice to fully freeze or because I need my skates sharpened. At any rate, skating at this time of year, before they've got the temperature regulated for warmer weather, is like running on sand -- good for you in the long run but very hard in the short term.) while doing the clock drill, also known as the 6 and 12 drill, and went sliding across the ice on my ass. It seemed harmless at the time but today my other butt cheek is also sore.

At least I have a matched pair of sore cheeks.

Speaking of cheeks, the other night after my NCWHL game, I felt the need to bare just a part of my butt crack, then bend over just as Andrea was coming in the room. She was startled and I laughed so hard I snorted for a good long time. Even as I write this, just remembering it is making me laugh so hard my chair is rattling. I now call it the Butt Crack Trick and dare her to throw a quarter in there. No, you, my loyal readership of three, will NEVER see this trick in person.

Still speaking of cheeks, I realized that the only tattoo I'd really want (besides a poster of Herve Villachez) is a monkey, just over my ass. That way, when people say "I'd do that only after monkeys fly out of my ass!" I would say, well, then, do it, and do the Butt Crack Trick to show them the monkey flying out of my ass.