But Stacey, we Broke Up!
My hockey team started out with a very new, very enthusiastic goalie. She's a little weird and talks like the little kid in Jerry McGuire. Seriously. I stand there and say things like "the human head weighs 8 pounds" and "my neighbor has 2 dogs" while she's talking incessantly. This would all be fine if she showed up on a regular basis and was a decent goalie. Unfortunately, she's neither, so I finally had fired her 2 weeks ago. Or so I thought. Last week at HockeyWorkout, I show up to play and get a message that our goalie couldn't make it. What do you mean? Our goalie, Robert, is right here. However, Stacey (not her real name, but Wayne's from Wayne's World's ex-girlfriend's name) had called to let them know. No shit, you're NOT THE GOALIE.

I didn't play last night but I heard that she showed up expecting to play saying she was the goalie for this team. Um... hi. You're not. Two of my teammates had to have the talk with her and even then she played for a period. I guess I have to call her, put it in writing and issue a legal document to that effect to get her to go away. At this point, I'm so creeped out by the whole thing that I don't want to call her from my home phone, lest she see the number on her caller ID and start harassing me.

In the end, I'm learning that I prefer spending time with grownups, not kids.