All this worrying is pretty exhausting. Looking at my little guy and wondering if it hurts him, if he's scared, if he'll ever stop having seizures and feel normal again, knowing he'll never be able to tell me. Some days I think I'm ready to be the parent of a human child but days like yesterday make me think, no, no way. I'd never sleep, never want to leave them alone, would want to spend all my time protecting them like we're trying desperately to protect Patrick.