Calling the groomer to make an appointment for Mr. Zeus, who is a real pain in the ass when it comes to getting his nails trimmed. We hadn't been there in a while and I knew this was coming but it still left me in tears.
"Hi, I need to make a grooming appointment."
Okay, what's your name?
Liz, Doughty
Oh, okay is this for Alice?
My voice catches, no, no it's not, she passed away about a year ago.

The woman was sorry and overly apologetic through the rest of the conversation but the pain still hung there. Some days, I think that pain will just always be with me, that the mere mention of her name will bring me to tears forever. Maybe it will, I just don't know. The farther away we get from losing her, the more I realize that you just don't get over a loss like this, that maybe you learn (most days) how to maneuver around it, but it's always there. I imagine made for TV movies about Al and me, people the world over amazed at the great bond we shared and of course how fucking cute she was.

Yup, she was #1. I may wear jersey #1, but it belongs to her and her alone. Maybe someday, when I'm more over this, I'll retire those jerseys but for now, it's something I need to do to remind the world who she was. Far more than just a dog, that's fo damn sheezy.