I also have to admit that my heart is nowhere near healed after losing Alice. Once in a while I can speak of her without tearing up, but not usually. She was the best gift I've ever had (the Easton Synergy my brother gave me is a solid runner-up) and losing her was the opposite of that gift, if that makes sense.
I have to admit that every time since 9/11 someone says holy shit, I get panicked that something that bad has happened again.
Note to self (and to you): Starbuck's Vanilla Creme Frappucino tastes like a McDonald's vanilla milkshake.
My grandmother's health is not improving and the effort required to keep her going grows greater, it seems, with each passing day. My mom is the coordinator of this effort, making sure the during the week person is there on time, not breaking things and not running out of supplies, then making sure that the weekend person can get there (how is it that none of these people have cars?), gets there, doesn't break anything and doesn't run out of supplies. She also visits every day, to see how Grandma is but also to make sure that the caregiver hasn't broken anything or harmed Grandma, that she's eaten and been to the bathroom and is clean. Grandma is up and down, some days she's not bad, sitting up watching The Price is Right, other days she's in bed, ass to the world, moaning about a muscle spasm that none of us, no matter how we want to, can fix. Mom is there for all of this. Her siblings also help but not with the same kind of immediacy that Mom does. She organizes doctor trips (which require a special van rental and a prayer that Grandma's stomach survives the journey), runs to the store when they're out of stuff (this is always an emergency), brings meals and makes sure Grandma gets the right kind of medication, not just "that pill over there."
Lately, Grandma has been worse. Her body is shutting down slowly, her mind is less intact every time I see her, after 5 minutes I find myself having the same conversation we'd already had, though she does rotate on to new topics, coming back after 5 minutes to the first thing she talked about. Her whole world has gone from the whole world (or at least her town) to her room. At least she gets to move between the bed and the chair, I guess, but it's taking it's toll on her and on my Mom. As Grandma declines, Mom gets more and more stressed, there's simply less to be done to manage her pain.
2 nights ago, my uncle came over to my Mom's house with a gift: tickets to see 2 plays in Toronto and a non-refundable hotel reservation. Mom is more relaxed than she's been in months, now talking about nothing but this trip. I saw my uncle online today and thanked him. I almost have my Mom back for a while. Until the next crisis with Grandma, that is.
It just sucks all around. She was in decent health and mobile until 3 years ago, now it's like the only thing left is to wait for her to die. That's not how she wanted it, it's the last thing any of us wanted for her and I'm so sorry. Maybe someday I'll look back and be grateful that she was around to see (cousin's new baby, me buy a house, other cousin's new baby, graduations, marriages (we don't mention the divorce), andrea pinch my butt on Grandma's request) whatever it was that she's seen (or heard about really since she's just in that room much of the time) but right now I'm sad and angry that she's in this situation. That we all are.
The Park Management orientation was pretty interesting, I had no idea how wide-ranging the job options would be. Working in parks means anything from taking parking money at the gate to saving people from the faces of cliffs. I think somewhere in between will be fine for me. Unfortunately the classes that I want to take meet at times, starting next week, that I really can't make so I need to figure this out. But I do think I want to do it.
Today at lunch, I look over from the line at the soup place and see a woman taking off her shirt. I think, this must be an accident, she's not standing in One Market taking off her shirt, she must be taking off a sweatshirt and her shirt is slipping up. But no. She was taking off her shirt. I stand there staring as any good perv would, then notice that behind her is my buddy Glen. The stripper is his friend!
My sister just informed me that my always-classy birthfather has decided not to attend her wedding reception, just the ceremony. On one hand, hey more food for me, but on the other hand, doesn't Rachel deserve to have him there if she wants him to be? At least I'll be there for her.
When we got home last night, Gus was a wild man, tearing around the house at a high (for him) rate of speed, toy in mouth. He also played so hard with the bassets that I had to break them up because it was too loud for late at night. While the puppies are growing up, I think the Gus is getting younger.
In other pet news, I bought our guinea pig a new hovel thing to hide in and she now spends most of her time there. She thinks it's the shit and I'm glad that the key to happiness for her has been found -- a $6 hovel and hay cakes.
In honor of the upcoming anniversary of 9/11, the Patriotic Bassets have come forward with a message of love, healing and cuteness.
In a little over 2 hours, I managed to see my doctor, get a haircut and turn in my passport application. The doctor wants me to get a head CT scan because I am having a few too many headaches after the concussion. Hopefully it's just that my synapses are a bit slow to recover and nothing big and scary like a blood clot that would require brain surgery. She also said that my foot is sprained. Better than a break, it hardly hurts today. In short, I'm a mess but only in the short term!
I'm working from home today and conveniently, my special copy of my birth certificate arrived so on my way to/from the doctor, I'm going to attempt once again to get a passport. Last time, the room was so full it was unreal, the wait was over an hour. This time, I'll try the Sunnyvale post office, which from what my memory is saying, boasts a much shorter (like none) line. We'll see what happens.
I'm pleased to report that the dog next door who barks constantly is barking right now, and has been off and on for the last 30 minutes.
Trying something new
I've been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up for a while. I think we all have. I stumbled into this high tech hoo hah because it was exciting and a way to make decent money without a lot of official training. Now that I've put on 30 pounds (lost a few of them though) from sitting at a desk and grown complacent with my technical skills, I find myself longing to get back among people rather than just staring at a screen all day. I considered being a firefighter, but was told that's too risky (and you need to be EMT certified to get a decent job. I'm not very into blood and all that), same for being a cop. The driving around talking to people part, and of course the using the sirens and flashing lights parts sound great but as far as being the person who comes when there's an intruder in your backyard? Hell no. That is NOT me.
And then I found it. Park Ranger for the City of San Jose. The pay is decent, you're outside part of the time and get to interact with people. Not to mention those sporty outfits. It clicked the moment I saw the listing. I've done my homework, I need to go back to school for a certification program (could take 1-2 years at night) then I'll be ready to work with Smokey the Bear!
Tomorrow night is the orientation for the fall classes, I'm going to go and check it out. I will figure out a way to get into those classes and start the process. If nothing else, I'll know more about chainsaws and wildlife than I do now. If everything else, I'll have a set of khaki shorts and shirts, with a fine hat to match!
Last night I stopped a slapshot with my instep. Today it's all bruised and pretty painful. I'm hopeful that it isn't broken because that would suck. I did realize that playing at Hockey Workout this summer has been no fun at all. It started out with Andrea breaking her ankle during the first game and has gotten no better since. We signed up for one division but they put us in a higher one, so we've had our asses kicked at each game. Despite repeated attempts to move to the right division, it never happened. I'm not going to our remaining games, I'm just done with that place. I also realized that I have the most fun in the women's league and taking lessons.
Yesterday, our CEO once again reminded us that it's no longer 1999, that the days of milk, honey and foosball are long past us. Part of this change in the world, in their eyes, will be reflected in having their loyal, obedient staff, including myself, dress less casually, moving away from t-shirts to 'business casual.' I have tons of issues with this, the main one being that my entire suave wardrobe consists of trendy t-shirts and jeans. But hey, I'll roll with it.
One of our engineers complied with this request by wearing a button down shirt, dockers and a tie. The tie he's wearing says Viagra all over it. It's the best example of business casual I've ever seen.
And in other news, I am very tired today and struggling to catch up on the work I missed this morning while at the "dentist."
Patrick passed his temperament test at the boarding place we use. A grumpy beagle and a grumpy beagle/basset mix both snapped at him, and my good natured little guy just said 'okay' and went about his business. Patrick proves without a doubt that the only thing better than 1 Roo is 2 Roos. The boarding place has redone the way they do things now and big dogs are now with only big dogs, small dogs together. Where do the bassets go, you ask? With the small dogs. So Zeus, Rainie and Patrick will be together but poor Gus will be by himself with the big dogs. They'll start them out together, though and ease him into it. I'm sure glad it's just for 1 night.
How did we manage to have any fun at work before Instant Messenger? Life was all about waiting for not Godot, but email. Boring.
I need the Starbucks Card. It's like magic, only better.
Took Zeus to the vet for his old man checkup on Saturday. He emerged with a confirmed 2 pound weight gain but a clean bill of health. The vet said everything looked good, that his eyes are getting a little cloudy (this I could see and was what prompted the visit) and a very erroneous guess that he's in his mid-teens. Our other vet guesses more like 8 or 9, a more reasonable number if you ask me. And more accurate, given his high energy level.
The O-town concert was big fun, though since they've only had 1 album out they didn't have a ton of material to pull from and it was only a little over an hour long. But really, that was plenty. There were tons of teenagers there, the place was only about 1/2 sold out, I felt bad for the band about that. We were among the oldest people there but I enjoyed myself anyway, choosing to sit rather than stand and bounce.
The hockey team going to Australia wrote to me today and asked if I was still interested in going -- now they're having tryouts. I'm afraid it's too late, because we're already scheduled to go to China instead.
I was sorry to see that one of the people featured on Houston Medical, Marnie Rose passed away last Friday after a 2 year battle with brain cancer. She was 28.
I am not ashamed to admit that I'm all jazzed, having just bought tickets for Sunday night's O-town concert.
Have a dog? Live in or near San Francisco? Don't mind walking? Come join me and one of our dogs at the Fun Run on Sept, 22. The guys who arrange it also do the beaglefests and since I can't bear to go to another one for a long time, if not ever, (the last one broke my heart without Alice there), I'm going to do this instead. I guess to honor Alice without breaking my heart open again.
Raise your hand if...
Today we had a company lunch to get aquainted with the new folks from the most recent company they've aquired. We went around the room and introduced ourselves and said what we did. After a while, this woman started asking things like "who is from (company we just bought)?" then "who lives in San Jose?" then "who hates the commute from San Jose?" Eventually it progressed to "who has kids?" (this from a different guy). As he said it, I thought "who loves starting a shrine to straight people and their nice lives?" something I tend to think anytime the conversation starts heading toward the nuclear family domain. I also feel this way when people talk about bridal showers and weddings. I knew that before the deal to buy them was done, they'd raised some major concerns about our new health care plan because a lot of them have kids and the coverage wasn't good enough, so I already had grouped them into the those kind of straight people category. Then I thought, well, that's dumb, I'm sure this guy is just asking for the hell of it, he's not some homophobe wanting to point out how 'normal' most of these people are.
Later, my new best friend at work (who is from that company and does not have kids and is not a homophobe or a man who likes to talk about things that don't relate to gay people) told me that guy is a serious homophobe but that it works out okay because his boss is gay. My gut feeling was right after all. Ha.
My last Red game of the season was last night. Dana put me on wing with two other solid skaters. We had about a million shots on goal but only one goal, not enough to eek out a win, losing 2-1. I realized some things:
- My new skates are great but still not fully broken in. It may be time to wear my shinguards outside my skates like Canadians do.
- I like playing forward and one day soon could be a decent center since I already know how to play defense.
- Even if I make Maroon, it's better for me to stay in Red for another season. If I go to Maroon now, I'll be sure to be stuck playing D and may never get a chance to play anything else. I'm still going to the tryout but will be a Red playa once again, this time hopefully with my friends Leslie and JeneRae on my team.
I just clocked myself in the cheek with my phone because it rang while Amy was IMing me something funny.
Another of the few returning A-Teamers has dropped off the team. I understand the motivation but now I'm wondering what the point is in continuing. I'm ready to play at a higher level but because I'm loyal to what I've started, here I am. This will be my last season in EE, regardless of what happens.
We're trying to refinance our house, but our current mortgage broker guy wants 2 years of W-2 forms that I seem to have lost somewhere in the depths of our gigantic house. I'm trying our current lender (different than the broker) and am on hold with them. The music, I shit you not, sounds exactly like the music that plays behind Mr. Tweek of Tweek's Coffee. I'm trying not to laugh in case they actually answer the phone.
Buddy came to me last night in a dream. In the dream, he was running around, happy and okay. I have to hope that means he's okay wherever he is and he understands that we did our best for him.
On the train this morning, they announced that as of next week, the schedule is changing. I just checked this out and both of the express trains that make my life easier are still express, but not nearly as express-y, adding a lot of stops. Great.
I'm an official International Traveller, having just bought our tickets to Shanghai, via Seattle and Tokyo. Woo! Gimme some bbq, I'm going to China!
Things are a bit slow at work right now. It's kind of tough because I usually sit down with my boss to come up with side projects for such times, but well, he was laid off so I'd better sit down with myself.
We had the new, revamped A-Team's first practice last night. Most of the folks we got are from hockey workout, where they've played together for a while. This is good because they know how to skate, pass and shoot, all of which is critical. This is bad because hockey workout is 3 on 3 so when Dana tried to start it off with a 5 on 0 drill, they didn't quite know what that meant. We scaled it back to be 2 on 0, passing, then increased it from there. By and large, the folks we got are pretty skilled and once they learn the timing of 5 on 5, I'm daring to hope that this team will be stronger than last season's team. Woo!
Andrea is taking Rainie Roo back to the vet on Thursday for a second look at The Bump. Just thinking of something serious being wrong with her makes me very upset. I would hope that fate has decided we've been through enough in the last couple of years when it comes to sick dogs and spare Roo any agony. In some ways, there's a sense of pressure when it comes to Roo that she has to be perfect since she's most likely the only dog we'll ever raise from puppyhood (Patrick was 15 months when he came to us, still very much a young man but not the 16 week old 28 pound joy Ms. Roo was when she arrived.) Please send good thoughts Roo's way.
There is a strange bump over Rainie's eye. The vet surmised that it could be anything from a bug bite to a mast cell tumor and sent us home to watch it. We've been watching closely and are alternately convinced that it's a bug bite or a tumor. If it doesn't go away soon, I think we're going to bite the bullet and have it removed. They'll have to put her under to do this so of course we'll be a wreck while this is going on. We'll head back to the vet soon if it continues to not change. Last night we sat there with Roo and worried over her as she soaked up the attention like the sponge she is.
What a weekend. First, my Red division team had our first win in a while. I played my best game in months, actually dekeing not once, not twice but three times and not thinking about it beforehand, just doing it. I wore the new (to me) skates I bought at give hockey a try day -- CCM 952s that were only worn for 4 months. They felt great and for reasons I can't explain, made it easier to bend my knees more.
In other news, our insurance company is saying that Andrea's injury is not covered (at least the anesthesia part) because it was an accidental injury. Is there any other kind? Had we scheduled a leg break, would that be covered? I'm going to start the phone wrangling today.
In horrible news, Dena, who raised our Roos and has become a very good friend, lost her mother suddenly this weekend. She and all of the extended Roo family are in our thoughts.
When Gus looks in the mirror, he sees a basset hound. Nobody has the heart to tell him he isn't one. As late as last November, he thought he was a big dog but the more time he spends around our bassets, the more he realizes his true basset identity.
I miss Alice so much, even now, that my heart hurts.
We left some peanut butter out the other day, lid closed, but on the counter. One of the taller dogs got it down and gave it to Zeus, who had a very full belly last night. He felt so horrid that I was able to trim most of his nails and he wanted only to sit on my lap and pass out. Even though it was his own fault, I still felt bad for the guy.
It's weird, since Mary and Kyle departed, I suddenly have lots of friends at the office. After a year of solitary lunches (since all of my co-workers were workaholics) I'm now surrounded by people who work a reasonable amount and want to have lunch. I'm kind of giddy at the prospect of not needing so many magainzes.
At least it's okay to be gay in NYC, as they just voted to consider gay marriages from other states as valid. As soon as gay marriage becomes legal, I'll be there on the first day. If Andrea wants to.
Wow! Did you know that Disney also promotes the Homosexual Agenda? Reading this stuff sort of makes my blood boil but more than that, it makes me sad that these people are spending so much of their lives hating others and feeling picked on. Isn't life (the life God gave them for that matter) worth more than just hate? I have to think that we were all put here for a higher calling than to just find causes that piss us off and boycott them. Fighting the increasing wave of tolerance in this country, in this world, is like holding up a piece of paper to stop a tidal wave. Good luck to you, but in the back of your mind, don't you wonder why you aren't out playing with the other kids?
Finally, The Homosexual Agenda is brought to light. Mine goes something like get up, go to work, come home, play with my dogs, play hockey, watch tv and go to bed with a nice woman. Evidently to some people that's pretty radical. Hey pal, if getting all worked up over my life gets you all hot and bothered, go for it.
The Saddle Rack may ride again. This was a fine country western bar (really more of a gymnasium that served drinks, had line dancing and the mechanical bull) right near our house that was razed to make way for a housing development that has yet to come. My hockey coach Andy is one of the guys trying to get this going and for his sake, I hope the new location works out well. Ride on!
In other news, our mortgage guy thinks he can shave $600/month off our gigantic house payment. At first I was able to contain my excitement but now I'm sitting here imagining what we could do with an extra $600/month. Home remodeling, a new car for Andrea, pay off my debt, hookers, strippers, finally open the meth lab I'd been dreaming of as a side business, bumper stickers for everyone I know, a round of drinks at Coconut Willie's, porn, a new car for me. The possibilities are endless, though I'd probably just pay off my fucking debt and be done with it.
Played a horrible game last night while subbing in for maroon. Don't try to console me, saying it couldn't have been that bad, because it was. I'm embarrassed and somehow got my ankle hurt in the process. I was thinking too much about the things we learned at hockey camp and not concentrating on the game. Today, I don't see how I could possibly make maroon in 4 weeks. I just can't, not if I'm playing like that.
A new way to fly. Evidently the head of Hooters, Inc. is considering buying Vanguard Airlines, that filed for bancruptcy a while ago. I know I would fly. Well, maybe I wouldn't, but I'd say I would.
In some ways, Buddy's death will haunt me forever, though I know nothing more could have been done, short of us keeping him and thus, having 5 dogs for the long term, something we couldn't do. Rest in peace, sweet man. You'll always be in our hearts.
Just got an email from Buddy's family about his final night and day. They were filled with love, the entire family was with him when he died and his mom told him that me, Andrea and Rainie all loved him very much. If we had a gigantic ranch with sheep for him to herd and to live his life out, maybe he'd be alive today, but that's not the cards any of us were dealt. And the truth is, he *was* different after being at home with the family for a while, more in your face and I did feel a bit more nervous around him so I guess I need to be grateful that he had a good time with us and with his family before joining Alice.
It looks like in the coming months, we/I are travelling to the following exotic locations:
- Massilon Ohio
- Pasadena CA
- Las Vegas
- Pasadena CA again
- Shanghai China
Gus' offerings for today include a stuffed crab, a pheasant and a duck. All this and it's only 9:05 am. Thanks, Gus, it's good to be home.
For dinner tonight, Holly, Kevin, Leo, Holly's brother Dan and I went to the Waffle House, which is viewable from Holly's apartment, as I gaze out the window, I see the sign glowing in the distance, with White Castle in the distance. I ordered an egg just because I could.
I'm coming to you live from Ohio, specifically from Holly's new home in Cincinnati. Leo is bigger than when he left and the family seems happy here.
The moment I stepped off the plane, I knew that I just wasn't ready to be here. I'm not sure if it was due to having to work so damn hard since Mary and Kyle were laid off or because Buddy was put to sleep that day, but I was not interested in being around my parents. It's hard to be around them at length, part of this is that there's no room to be in a bad mood around them, there are all these questions leading around the issue "are you tired? you look tired.." but never "are you okay?" Not that I'd answer if they did ask. This morning my mom came in 3 times to ask me the following each time:
- What time are you leaving?
- When are you coming back?
- Do you want the window open?
Last night as we left the Tofu House, the nice woman handing out kim chee said "good night! thank you! happy birthday!" I was like, wait a minute, did she just say happy birthday? If I ever go to a foreign country, I will learn only phrases like that and wander the countryside wishing everyone I meet a happy birthday or a nice armistice day.
I'm leaving for Ohio in a mere 2 hours. I am SO ready for this trip even if it means being away from Andrea and our dogies for almost a week. I'm hoping that the hockey camp I'm about to attend will have the same dramatic impact on my skating as the Robbie Glantz power skating did this spring, when I went on to make Red after it. We had a fine game at Hockey Workout last night, so far my brother absolutely wins the Most Improved player award! He was defending against guys who were pretty damn skilled and managed to keep up with them on breakaways. Very impressive. I suspect one day soon he'll become a scrappy defensemen like his little sister.
The dogs know that I'm leaving. Gus won't leave my side, whining and pushing up my arm to get me to pet him. He did make a leap for the guinea pig this morning and landed in the doggie penalty box for a while (some people call this a crate). I'm sure they'll all be fine, even their gimpy other mama.
Since I'm going to Cincinati tomorrow, I thought I'd find some Things to see before I catch up with Holly. Turns out that there really isn't much so I don't think I'll go down there too early.
Last night's playoff game wasn't nearly as successful as the first round. This team was much younger and more agressive than the other team. At one point I was knocked down, where I hit my head again (though not nearly as hard as the concussion day and thanks to my new helmet, I hardly felt it), earning the pusher a 3 minute penalty. While sitting on the ground trying to get up, I gave him the finger, which is always a good look with hockey gloves on. They had a large obnoxious crowd who cheered for every move they made. I felt like the visiting team at a Sharks game. Our lone 3 fans were Andrea, Heather and Gerald, welcome faces in that crazy mess of lunatics.
We lost 0-3 but played pretty hard. Not bad for a bunch of old guys against a team with an average age of 19.
Buddy. We had him in foster care for over 2 months, he had a love affair with Rainie and finally went to a good home. Until he bit their small child (by accident, it seems) and then the father on the nuts (on purpose, it seems). The family was going to give him back to me next week but re-considered their decision and called a second trainer, who said that Buddy would eventually bite someone badly and that the only option is to euthanize him. My first instinct is to tell her not to do it, but in my gut, I know he'd be a liability and be with us forever if he came back. We do not have room for him, nor do I want to have another dog, especially an unpredictable one, in our family.
Please say a little prayer for Buddy, that he understands that we all love him, but there is no other choice.
Yesterday morning I woke up, apparently having made this decision in my sleep: I am going to make maroon this fall. So there you have it, you heard it here first.
The older I get, the more I realize a few things:
- Good friends are hard to find. If you find one, hang on to them for dear life.
- Negativity sucks. I'd rather be alone than be around negative people.
- Not all grownups are actually adults, they're full-sized children and should be treated as such.
- The older I get, the less I know. This is kind of cool because remembering this opens my mind to new things easier.
- I am still not a morning person.
Yesterday was a gigantic day. It started with a 7 am coaches meeting, followed by tryouts for the Junior Sharks girls teams. I did off-ice evalutation for the 15 year olds, who intimidated the hell out of me. Girl after girl had slapshot after suave move. They were very serious and for the most part, had mad skills, certainly more mad than me. The next group was the 12 and unders, most girls were 10-12 but there was one little teeny 5 year old, Amy, who had the sportiest little roller hockey pants and was the slowest one, mainly because her legs were so short. I had a lot of fun helping them and will probably work with them going forward. I forgot that at that age you have to ask permission for everything. One girl came up to me and said "I'm feeling quite ill, may I have some water?" I was like, uh of course, forgetting that unlike adults, they won't just go do something when adults are around. Every one of the girls who tried out plays on boys teams, since there are no other options available. So coming into this, they have more guts than most girls their age and I was duly impressed.
Later was GHATD, (Give Hockey a Try Day) where I helped out a little and found the deal of the month, some barely used 952 skates (the model above mine) for $62, in my size. So I bought them. I also gave hockey a try and decided that I still liked it.
The day's highlight was the 5:15 Jets playoff game. We were #7 coming into it, against the #3 team. Lucky for us they only had 8 guys on the bench (we had a record-setting 13) and got pooped out. We pulled off a 5-2 win and head back for ROUND 2 tonight at 10:45!! Woo!!! Afterwards, I stopped by the pro shop to get a neck guard after a nice man from the K-Wings had grazed my neck with his blade and figured I'd ask about the magic helmet. It turns out that they had one tucked away in the back so I bought it and am now the proud owner of a magic helmet. Woo!
I'm utterly exhausted but ready for ROUND 2 tonight! Go Jets!
Who knew that there was a movie called Hello Titty? I guess the people who made it and the people who've seen it, but not me.
We just heard that Rajiv's visa is approved at last, ending the fear of a one-way ticket back to Calcutta. Even it is the city of love, he still doesn't want to go there right now. Phew and congrads!
Thanks to my buddy Glen, who hooked the Jets up with an emergency goalie for the big playoff game on Sunday. May the forms be with you.
I just bought myself a new watch. Why? Because I can and it's cool. I guess in celebration of my continuing paychecks or something like that. And I like watches with velcro bands that glow in the dark.
Give Hockey a Try Day is Sunday, which means it's that time of year where I run around sayng 'GHATD' and then following myself up with 'bless you.'
Something I did not expect is that my job is suddenly a lot more interesting without Mary to help me. I have more to do, more contact with clients and am doing a wider range of things. I miss having her and Kyle around, no doubt about that, but I am kind of liking the changes to my job itself that have resulted from their departure. Is that bad?
I've moved into the other room at work and now sit with my lone teammate, Rajiv and two account managers for the other product this company sells. One of just said that an account has a corrupted load and is talking about loads and logs. Maybe I secretly want their job.... He said load. And log.
Today my dad started giving me shit about going to my sister's wedding. I told him this:
I knew that telling Mom about going to Rachel's wedding would inspire a flood of comments from you both about this. I'm not even sure where to start, so I'll just say that knowing her gives me a great deal of peace, it offers explanations to questions I've always had. I know it's hard for you both that I'm in touch with my birthfamily, but in the end, I'm part of them too. Please try to understand that and not give me grief about choosing to go. I do not and will not continue to defend my relationship with the (birthmom, hubby and kids), the (birthfather and Rachel) and the (birthmom's family). I shouldn't have to. I know it's hard on you but I can't help that, I can only remind you in as many ways as I can figure that I love you and remain a member of our family before I'm anything.
That seemed to quiet the comments for now.
One guy who was laid off was a guy I call Weasel Boy, or Penis. He has a gift for saying the wrong thing pretty consistently, for working long hours but producing few results. No results I can live with, but the lack of social graces really got to me. In his final moments here at the office, he sent out an email detailing how much he'd done, how he'd generated x amount of leads, he'd done whatever. Yeah great, I'm sure the entire company wanted to know that. Unlike Mary and Kyle who marched out of here, heads held high, WB looks like a fool.
I've been laid off enough to know that the way you handle yourself on the way out means something. Even when the Evil One fired me, the only act of defiance I did was to throw my badge on the table. After that, I packed up my things and walked out calmly as the weight of Evilness lifted from my shoulders. I can only hope that Mary and Kyle felt that same weight lift yesterday.