3.29.2003

Maybe you think that because I haven't mentioned Alice in a while that she's far from my mind, that somehow I've stopped missing her all the time. In some ways I wish that were true, that she has moved to some other part of my heart (and maybe, in truth she has a bit) but like any other great loss, one word, one glimpse from the corner of my eye and once again my heart is broken. Maybe you think that she was one of those people (well, in her mind she was certainly a person, a 20 lb. person who fancied raincoats and buffets) who becomes legendary only after their death, one whose loved ones make more of their relationship with the deceased after they're gone, but I can assure that it simply wasn't like that. Al and I had a bond so great that I'm not sure, even now, that it's broken. I feel her with me still, I miss her so much it would break your heart to know how often I'm ready to cry at the loss of her. Part of my heart was stolen that day she didn't wake up from surgery, I'm not sure I'll ever get it back and I know if I do, it won't be anything like it was.

Here's to you, Alice. You are, and always will be #1.

Greetings from lovely Ohio, where I've been lucky enough to see Holly and Leo not once but twice and to have won not one but 2 games with the Kent Twisters. Despite our decent record, we did not score enough goals overall to make it to the finals of the tournament so we're all done. I've had a great time playing with the Twisters and with Leo and suppose I'm ready to head back to California. Unfortunately there are no flights open tomorrow and I'm here until Monday. I know Andrea's ready for me to be back but when you're at the whim of the airlines, you're just stuck waiting.

Highlights of the trip:
Crosschecking more than once and not getting called
Hearing Leo talk like a pro
Chillin' with Holly and that Kevin
Having my mom suggest politely that I try washing my hockey gear (this in response to the smell I've added to my brother's bedroom in her house)
I think that's it so far. It's not Cozumel but it's hardly cost me any money. Not too shabby. See you in Cali!

3.25.2003

Exams are done, I'm on Spring Break for the first time in 1995. Do I go anywhere truly fun? Nope, I head to Ohio like the good daughter to see my folks. I'm off tomorrow, highlights include getting to see Holly, Kevin and Leo and playing for the Kent Twisters in a hockey tournament. It's not all bad but i'm once again realizing how much I like my life here in CA.

3.20.2003

2 midterms down, 2 to go. Yesterday's biology was the toughest (Communications, unfortunately, is every bit as worthless as I'd imagined. Were I 18 years old and without a BA in English, maybe I'd find it useful but here we are). Today is Geology and Park Planning. If I haven't mentioned, Park Planning is the best class I'm taking. It's where I discovered the 'and Recreation' in Parks & Rec. For our final project, we're taking a kit provided by the City of Cupertino and creating our own master plan for 60 acres of parkland that I know pretty well. I'm totally stoked about doing this, it's shaping up to be the coolest thing I've ever done in school.

In other news, I'm working with San Jose State at the Continuing Education booth at the Parks & Recreation conference today and tomorrow. It's a great way to get to know folks who work in parks from throughout the state as well as the SJ State department. Not only that, i got a sporty free t-shirt. Woo!

Here's to aceing the last two midterms of the week!

3.19.2003

Not one but 2 midterms are waiting for me today. Tomorrow, it's the same story. Wish my old ass luck!

3.17.2003

30
Greetings from a new decade in my life, where I can no longer pretend I'm in my 20's. Maybe it's time to stop dressing like a punk ass skater kid and dress like a grownup. Maybe it's time to stop laughing at farts or making jokes about cemen-tation in geology class. Maybe it's time to drive a 4 door sedan (oh wait...), own a house and have steady girlfriend, to love then lose not one but two amazing dogs, to watch my grandmother's health continue to fail, to listen patiently as my mom shares how hard it is dealing with her siblings these days, to pursue a crazy dream of working in parks, to be well respected among my peers.

You know, I think being all those things already gives me license (not that I really needed one) to be a little crazy and fun sometimes. You could easily spend your whole life trying to act grown up, to never do anything silly or a little nuts (nuts, Andrea, nuts) but then where would you be? If you can't laugh at exlax (even if you need it) or poise pads, what's the point?

As my 30th birthday grew closer I found myself growing increasingly maudlin about it, drinking more in the week leading up to today than I had in months. As the Pabst flowed, I was asking myself all the usual questions: what have I done with my life so far, why aren't I a famous writer by now (you could argue that the 4 people who read this blog give me some degree of credibility, and while I'm grateful for your loyal readerness, I'd always imagined I'd write some suave novel that people would learn about when Teri Gross interviewed me for Fresh Aire.). Fame will come, not can't-leave-the-house fame but being recognized once in a while as the woman who wrote that really great book.

That hasn't stopped the steady flow of long-overdue introspection, why should it? As long as I'm breathing, I'll keep asking and trying to do more with the time I'm given here on earth.

3.14.2003

I've become the kind of sporadic poster that I often malign. I know, why have a blog if you're not going to post to it? Well, because my life has changed, has taken me out from behind this monitor and into the world of sunlight and fresh air. What's amazing is that I adore this new world, the feel of the sun on my face and the wind in my large hair. I don't miss feeling my ass spread and the constant worry about being laid off. Of course that worry has been replaced by a worry about how we're going to pay the bills but hey you can't have everything.

Summary of el week: dropped the evil biology class that was dominating far too much of my time and energy with little return.
Met with San Jose State re: becoming a Master of Recreation. It looks like I'll get into the program, no problem and may even be a TA in the fall. A much better deal for me all around. While the community college is nice, it does seem silly to be there, striving for a degree I don't need. A Master's is a much better thing for me to pursue.
Working my ass off, trying to coordinate evaluations (aka tryouts) for the women's hockey league. In the past, there were complaints about it not being a fair process, doing my best to make it as fair as possible. It's a lot of work and a lot of processing but I hope, worth it in the end.
Andrea marks her triumphant return to the ice tonight as she plays her first game of the season with Wasabi. I'll be there to coach the team and cheer her on. Woo!!
I was voted Most Sportsmanlike Player by my women's league team once again. I remain touched and so very proud of this distinction. Code Red rocks!!!

3.10.2003

So much for the Stanley Keg
My Redwood City team played for the league championship and the coveted Stanley Keg on Saturday. I'm not sure where to start in the telling of the debacle... First there's an accident on 101 and a bunch of people are late. So, someone needs to cover defense. Since I usually play D on my other teams and have for 1/2 the season on this team, I say 'sure, I'll play D,' to which our goalie gives me this look like I'm an idiot, there's no way I can play D. I was a little confused by that but tried to shrug it off. Later, I have a little time as I'm chasing the puck and the goalie tells me this. Hey cool, I'll take a few extra steps before clearing it out of the zone. I do this but somehow it doesn't leave the zone and a goal was scored. This goalie (who apparently thinks she's Patrick Roy) comes over to my bench and tells my captain to move me off D, that the goal was my fault.

Things went downhill from there. She came over and tried to mess with the lines after every period, meanwhile, forgetting about her own role in the game and letting in 4 more of the dumbest goals I've ever seen. I was hurt and pissed by the time we lost, 5-1. I went upstairs and enjoyed a bit too much of the free beer, but I wasn't able to forget how nasty that goalie was.

3.07.2003

Not too much going on, or maybe it's more like so much that I can't summarize. All is well though, I'm just a bit tired.

3.04.2003

Tuesday, day of waiting in line
Given my exciting wrist injury, I skipped badminton and went directly to do tedious errands. I had to get a printout of my DMV record for one of the park jobs I'm hoping to get, so I headed over there, to the crown jewel of the tedium empire, your local DMV. They have this new number system with monitors to tell you who's helping whom next, kinda crazy. It was nice of that young man to bring his guitar and seranade us while we waited. Once I finally got the report, I noticed that thanks to the stupid ticket I never got a letter for last fall, I now sport a 'Failure to Appear' on my record. I called the courthouse and learned that I have a $374 fine for it. Fabulous. Paid over the phone, then headed over to the bank to pay my mortgage (very convenient, but required yet another long ass line. This time there was no nice man with a guitar only a woman with a flock of young unsupervised kids, for our entertainment.)

I also got all my paperwork in for scorekeeping so I can now get paid the big bucks for that. I'm on the road to being rich again, though the road does seem filled with potholes.

In other news, it appears that unemployment pays too much for me to be eligible for food stamps.

3.03.2003

Another rousing weekend of hockey fun. With my new very limited income, I know that I won't be able to play in as many places next season (i.e. after about this week) as I do now so I'm trying to make the most of it. My Redwood City team, the Sidewinders, remains in 1st place heading into Saturday's Stanley Keg playoffs. The downside to this is that we have to play a team that's kicked our asses more than once in the past. But we're tough and we look great in red so we'll see who prevails.

I banged up my wrist at the end of the game but managed to play for the Bandits later that night as well as for the Red/Green challenge yesterday. After all the griping I'd heard about Green folks not moving up last season, how they were ready and were held back for purely political reasons, despite the fact that very few people evaluating actually knew the people trying out, I did indeed have a point to make. Our scrappy group of 11 (thanks to 4 people who had said they'd be there but didn't show -- remind me NOT to ask you next time) managed to beat them 4-1, with yours truly having a pretty sweet goal, thanks to Mary's expert setup. I'm hoping that some of these folks realized that they simply weren't ready to play at this level last season.

I felt like the obnoxious kind of parent after the game when one of the green players asked me to go easy on her in the evaluations. When I said I wouldn't be evaluating, that I'd be doing the benchmark, skating with other current red players as well as those trying out, she said well, go easy on me there. Then I kinda came unglued and said well, if I play a game against you, like my red teammates, we'll go all out so I'm not going to compromise and skate less hard so people can move up.

After we got home, I took out my contacts and threw my neck into a tizzy at the same time. How I can play 4 games of hockey with a sprained wrist then come home and cause myself a great deal more pain than the wrist by doing something as innocuous as that, I just don't know. I'm counting the moments until I can get to the chiropractor.

In other news, I've decided to look seriously into abandoning my career at the community college and head to San Jose State this fall (if they'll have me) to pursue a master's in recreation. I like to recreate so it should work out just fine.