I will, however, take a moment to show you a fine web page with models of Gilligan's Island on it, including the ever-popular thatched huts.

I've been reading through some of the archives and it seems that, recent drama aside, I really was funnier then. Sorry, dear 3 loyal readers. I'm working toward being funny and insightful once again. Stay tuned...

Here's a little trip down memory lane:

Here's to China, land of warm beer and public spitting.

Sometimes there's just too much stuff going on to share it here. This is one of those times. To everyone who's listening patiently to my tale of woe, I thank you and assure that one day soon, I'll be funny and fun again.


The good news? The Mormons stopped by yesterday to convert me. Praise Jesus.

Today I've seen a man walk past our house not once, but twice, carrying a big can of beer wrapped in a plastic bag. Later, his friend pushing a train of connected shopping carts cruised by looking for recyclables. It's a top quality day in our top quality neighborhood.

Despite my resolve to not become the boozer that I know my genes would easily allow me to be (never mind those 6 months at Bowling Green where Amy and I drank like fishes every day) occasionally I lapse and drown my sorrows. I shouldn't take it so hard when our tournament team loses (never mind that being drunk at 11 am when we had to play again at 9 pm wasn't the best idea) but I did, downing the free beer the tourney people supply after every game.

I'm sure that we lost so damn much because I drank so much. Sorry, team!

Holly reminds me that it's Haiku Tuesday so I thought I'd whip out a couple. Actually, I just realized that it's Wednesday but what the hell.

Semester's over
How to fill the time until more
classes start? Not beer!

Losing hockey games?
Don't fret, just drink free rink beer
Crawl under tables.

Too much free rink beer
Makes me a native of the
Good Egg's fine bathroom.


For a little excitement, I updated the archive page for the first time since last October. Now that I have a couple of weeks of down time before Evil Statistics begins, I should be updating things or cleaning things up around here a little more.

Back from Phoenix. The team didn't do nearly as well as last time. Maybe it was because a lot of the other teams brought really good players down from their higher level teams or because I didn't choose the right players for our team but we lost every game and were out in 3 games. The good news was that Walt and Dena made it to every game, and even Carol and Steve made it to our last game. It was great to see them andd have them there cheering us on.


Tomorrow, Code Red is off to Phoenix, with grand hopes of finishing our run to victory. In Vegas, we came in second, we're trying hard to place first this time. Wish us luck!

Pickup hockey can be very good (or so I'd heard) but more often, for me it's been awful. It's generally packed with guys who have played forever, who don't think women should play or have no patience for people who are slower than they are. They won't pass to you (even though you're wide open because the other team thinks you can't shoot) and like to run right by you. Once, a long time ago, a guy shouted to 'get her (meaning me) off the ice.' Talk about incouraging.

So I went to one this morning, thinking that the crowd at 10 am Thursday wouldn't be too large. It wasn't. Today was the first time I actually enjoyed pickup. 2 of the guys were in their 70's. I am not kidding. Nobody played rough at all, one guy asked if I was okay after he shoved me a little. You never see that happen! I'm so glad I went, though I'm utterly exhausted -- only 1 sub on the bench meant 8-10 minute shifts, compared to the 1-1.5 minute shifts I normally play. It was a good windup for the Phoenix tournament this weekend.


No Patience
First off, today I'm exhausted (still putting off that nap for reasons I can't explain) so that makes me a little grumpy to start out with. After my last final today, I headed to the computer lab to check where San Jose State's financial aid office is. (I know some people might pick up the phone but fuck the phone, I'm used to looking everything up online. It's like my own little version of the Matrix.).

So, I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when I see a woman struggling with some HTML code. Stupid good samaritan me (hey, I was born there, I guess that's the way it was meant to be. Like Neo, I am The One, I'm just The One who was born at Good Sam). But I digress.

I offered to help her and started looking at her code. Right away I had a few good guesses about what her problem (with the HTML) was and mentnioned them. She got too busy telling me how she likes to talk. A lot. She went on to ask me some too in-depth questions for my taste (yes, I know it's ironic that I have this website where I tell all about many things but when you ask me a personal type question, I'm hesitant to answer, especially if I don't know you.) Any answer I gave, she turned into some weird assumption (oh, your degree is in English, do you write for the Norseman (school paper)? No, they meet when I had a class so I couldn't. 'Ahh, I see, you don't do that sort of thing, are you too good for that?' 'Umm, like I said, I had a conflict in my schedule with their meeting times.'

At that point, I was done talking to her but she wasn't finished with me. I tried vainly to direct her attention back to her code but no, she was back into questions about my life. Finally, she whips out her piece of paper and asks for my email address, 'just because it's good to keep in touch.' Stupid, honest me, I gave her my real email address so I'm sure I'll be getting all kinds of spam in the not so distant future.

Next time, I'm Ridley Scott and my email address is rscott4432@aol.com.

We saw the Matrix last night and I have to say that it's about the worst movie I've seen in a long time (and I saw Boat Trip, with Cuba Gooding, for chrissakes). I've never seen a movie so filled with self importance. Every word uttered was wrought with over-significance to the masses of fans who cropped up after the first film exploded onto the scene. Every scece, including and especially the much-hearlded highway scene was way too long (did anyone else notice the Marsh/Whipple/Woodside signs that were clearly lifted from 101?). The movie actually gave me a migrane. I am not kidding.

I can't talk you out of seeing it, I know that. Enough people enjoyed the first one that I know we'll dutifully march into the theaters for the second and probably the third. But don't say I didn't warn you. Bring your Hat of Self Importance and wear it proudly, it's your only defense against the tedium.

Woo hoo! All but 1 of my finals are now over. I pestered my geology teacher into giving me my final back, I got a measly and disappointing 83% but managed to get a 93% for the class, brining my cache of confirmed A's to 3. I'm so exhausted I don't know what to do so I think I'll take a nap.


Driving the Boozer Bus
Last night after my hockey game, one of our defenseman was asking his best friend (also on the team, both great guys and big assets to the group) if he knew anyone who wanted to make $150. Since I'm officially getting towards broke, I perked right up. Turns out the gig is to drive a big van full of nice people on their way to inebriation at a day-long wine tasting hootenany. How can I argue with cash?

I cannot, so look for me as the Boozer Bus driver next weekend!

Holy fucking shit! After my geology final (I think I did pretty well), I stopped by my biology teacher's office to see the updated grade reports. Last I heard, I had a very respectable 94% and expected to see that number again. Not so! Between the extra points I scored for giving my presentation early, the extra points he gave out for listening to everyone else's presenations and my excellent presentation itself ("A Dam Shame") I am now up to a mind-boggling 99%! 99%!

Tomorrow is the final, let's hope I don't blow it and fuck up the final. Here's a little haiku to celebrate this moment of my life.

Holy Shit! Great grade!
I did not expect this much.
Liz Doughty -- scholar!

Semester's through
Now what should I do? Not sure
Time to decide, though.

School, better than work.
Free from fretting re: layoffs
Just study, study.


Just sitting here, waiting for a phone interview that was supposed to happen at 4:30. I had a feeling it would go like this but was hoping it would go differently, just to buck the trend. There's one more job I won't be getting.

1 final down and 4 to go. I'm already exhausted but think I did pretty well, at least on that 1.


Classes are over, now it's onto finals. I have at least a 94% in all of my classes going into them, I'm working hard to make sure I don't blow it next week!


If a tree falls on the West Valley College and no Park Management students are waiting with chainsaws to hack it to bits, did it really happen? Yes! A huge limb of one of the Valley Oaks on the campus lost a limb today as I was mingling with my student friends Lois and Doug. It was quite a crash. Fortunately nobody was in the way but I think the maintenence guys will have to swoop in ASAP to clean up the area before my esteemed chainsaw trainee collegues can take a whack at it.

We did make a few jokes about Sudden Oak Death though, and stand there laughing hysterically. Yes, that's what humor is for me these days.

May I just mention that ordering on the Togo's website is about the most tedious thing ever? It's my turn to get dinner for the NCWHL board meeting and I'm about to go nuts trying to get everyone's order in. I had hoped that it would've been easier than walking in there but maybe not.

I just got the news -- I've been accepted into the Recreation program for the fall semester. I am officially on my way to becoming a Master of Recreation!


Yesterday, in my lameass Park Communications class, we were discussing how to deal with 'impaired' people. First, we listed a number of 'impairments' such as physical and mental handicaps, then Cailtin said ooh! Tourette's! From that point on, it was a free for all. I sat in my small group, muttering 'fuckyou' and 'cocksucka,' then laughing quietly, but maniacally.

It was the only time I've actually enjoyed that class. There's one more meeting to go, maybe we'll make it 2.


Jumpline (still) = Evil
You may remember that last spring, my (at the time) web hosting company did an 'upgrade' that brought this lovely site down for 10 days. That's right, 10 days. Not 10 hours or 10 minutes, but 10 fucking days. During that 10 days, they didn't respond to email or phone calls and once it was over, they not once apologized for the 'inconvenience' or offered me a refund for those 10 days. I moved to WebIntellects and have been much more satisfied since.

Well, the other domain I own, www.ebarc.org (most noted for the Northern CA Beagle Rescue website) is about to expire. In blindly going to renew it with the ASSHOLES at Jumpline (who, sadly enough are in my hometown of Columbus Ohio, brining not joy nor gladness to the town, but rather, casting a black pall of shame about it), I was on the phone with Mr. Asshole, when I realized that I could, in fact, move this registration to my friends (Hi, Josh!) at WebIntellects. I explained to Mr. Asshole the trouble I'd had and how it sucked that they never once apologized, hoping to prompt him, in a passive-agressive sorta way into apologizing for something his company had done last year, but no. I mentioned how piss-poor the design of their 'customer manager' is, where it opens a new window with each click. He laughed at me and though he didn't hang up on me when I went on to say how completely awful their service was, I wasn't exactly reassured when he said that they'd learned from the experience of the upgrade.

Me? I don't think laughing at customers is a strong indication that they've learned a damn thing. I know I have, and promptly moved the domain to WebIntellects.

Look, I know I'm small potatoes to these people but I'm still a person. I deserve to be treated with respect and an apology when things I'm paying for go wrong. That's all I ask, and if you do it, I'll stay with you for a long time. I don't think that's unreasonable. Too bad the ASSHOLES at Jumpline do.

Yes, I'm using the words ASSHOLE and Jumpline together a lot, hoping that people searching on them will find a friend in me.


I looked online today, hoping to register for some classes and saw that, according to the school, I'm still registered for the evil class that I dropped back in February. Fuck. Tomorrow, I'm off to school early to ask those nice people in admissions what the story is. It would suck if that stupid class showed up as an F, and thus destroying my fine GPA.

It seems like yesterday that Andrea and I were in Phoenix, meeting Deb, Jamie, Tiffany, Roma and Relish. We were also gearing up to meet our very special 4 month old basset girl, Rainie Roo, and her momma, Ellie, named for our beagle Ellie who had passed away just 6 months before. It seemed unbelievable that we'd be bringing a puppy home -- we were geezer dog people, we didn't know anything about puppies! But she came home to San Jose on the plane with us, always the good girl, didn't make a peep, and has been our beloved Roo Roo ever since.

We also celebrated the arrival of Patrick, her littermate, just one year later. He's been our sweet, sweet, beautiful (but not that bright) boy since the moment we met him last year. Together, they're the best of friends and even though having 2 bassets in our small house is a challenge, having 2 Roos is better than one. I know that Alice sent him to me from the Bridge -- she knew my heart was still breaking then, 6 months after her death, that I needed someone who adored me but was nothing like her. Patrick fit the bill 100%. Today we still miss Alice like crazy but are grateful for 2 Roos worth of laughter.


You can't win em all.
A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed for a job I would have loved, writing for a cable TV station. The subject matter wasn't that exciting, but the chance to write for TV was. I tried not to get my hopes up, tried not to think about how I'd have to adjust my plans for school this fall around this job. Despite not getting totally invested in it, I'm still pretty much devastated now. Yup, I heard that I didn't get the job.

The upside is that it's inspired me (thanks to a little prodding from Andrea) to see if the NBC station that's literally 2 blocks from here has any similar jobs or internships that I'd be qualified for.


Liz Doughty, star student!
Woo! I got my big term paper back today (ask me about Glen Canyon dam) -- I got a 97% Woo! Wednesday I have to give a presentation ("A Dam Shame") and then all I have are 5 finals the week of 5/19.

In other news, I've started playing goalie, in a very casual way. The good news? I've figured out how to put all of the gear on. The bad news: putting on the gear is the thing I do best. Stopping pucks? Not so much. It's given me a whole new perspective on the game though.


Woo hoo! I've been accepted at San Jose State for the fall!! The next step is to be accepted into the Recreation Department. Woo!

Leo is 2!!!
It's hard to believe, but Leo G Funk turned 2 yesterday!!! In addition to now being 2, he also rode a horse:

Happy Birthday, little man. We miss you (and your mom and dad) every day.


School Library=Evil
Well, not exactly. The library itself is very nice (no, Amy, not like mutton) but their fine structure is very odd.
  1. You can't renew books. Period. If you want to check them out again, you need to return it, wait until someone decides to put it back on the shelf, then check it out again.
  2. They don't charge late fees right away, so why would you return a book that you need for longer than the initial period?
  3. After about a month, they send you a handy email reminder that your books are late (which is true, I needed them for a paper I turned in on Wednesday). This email also includes your fees -- the entire cost of the book
  4. When you call the library, they say, no it's not quite like that, when you return it, you'll just need to pay a fine. Okay, fine on the fine, how much?
    We don't know. The person who knows is on a break
I'm going to return them before class tonight, we'll see how much I owe.