While I'm killing time, avoiding the dreaded financial aid trip, let me tell you about my goalie glove. It's the only piece of goalie stuff I bought myself, brand new (Andrea sprung for the helmet and the stick I got with a gift certificate), with my own money. It's a Franklin, a brand not known for hockey gear, but I got a good deal on it and it matches my other gear (red/black/white) so here I am. It's pretty nice, but has one big problem. It's stiff in exactly the right place to hurt my middle finger. Which is funny and all that but hey, pain is pain.

I'm supposed to go to financial aid today to ask pertinent questions like 'what is unmet need' and 'why aren't you people meeting my needs?' but I'm having a *really* hard time getting off my ass to go there. I don't know what this mental block is about that place. They're really very nice.

A couple of really good things happened yesterday. First, I may have passed or even gotten a decent grade on my stats midterm. At least it seemed to make sense while I was doing it and I did not cry during the test. Not one tear!

And then! The mail came and my beefy unemployment check, which I thought was to be my last. I was waiting to hear about the extension but I guess I still have time on round 1, which is good news. I also got an unexpected $25 from AT&T. Also in the mail was a letter from one of the park districts I'd applied to in the spring. They're no longer hiring for summer (I'd hope not, it's July, folks) but would like to interview me for a permanent ranger position. I am at the very least going to talk to them.

Went to HockeyWorkout to have some goalie practice with friends. Thanks to the 'Nettes (twins and dear friends Annette and Jeannett), Chris and Dana for giving me a chance to see where I should be standing. Notice I'm not thanking Dana for that wrister to the helmet. My ears did stop ringing after a while. Jeannett kept magically finding my 5 hole (the space between your legs, over the stick), which was frustrating but a testament to her aim! I made it out of there in time to rush home, get my sax and make it to the concert w 3 minutes to spare.

Basset Hound Howls His Way To Freedom. Behold the power of the Roo!

Speaking of maudlin things, I heard this Alanis Morissette song where she's talking to all the guys she's loved. It's full of tributes and lessons learned. I'd like to copy her idea and make mention of the dogs in my life. Exes, well, that's either for another day or just not for this public a forum. Sorry, kids.

Dear Gus, the moment you picked me at the shelter, my life changed. Shaking and scared, your eyes said it all. You taught me all about big dogs and silly toys. And about neglect. Your bones showing, tail still wagging, you made it clear that we did the right thing when I hung up on your owner that day. Today you keep me safe from the mailman and bring me stuffed toys.

Dear Zeus, you came along when we least expected it. Just a ride from Tracy, you were my boy the moment I saw your sweet face and your healthy self. Your arrival took us past our broken hearts and taught us about healthy, sweet boys. Watching you grow older is hard but a gift, too.

Dear Rainie, I never wanted a puppy but you changed all that. Opened a part of my heart I didn't know was closed. Taught Andrea about toys, about having a soul mate dog. You make me laugh every day and turned me into a Basset Mom.

Dear Patrick, the sweet boy we never intended to have. Number 4 in our pack, your silly sweetness is healing the place in my aching heart where Alice used to be. Your seizures scared me but made it clear that you were always meant to be my boy.

Dear Ellie, you showed me what quality time really means. McDonalds and donuts, fiercely, toothlessly guarding your bone, you showed me more in 6 months, 8 days than anyone could have in a lifetime. The pain and loss of life after you remains worth it.

Dear Buddy, you brought my Mom back to life and inspired many people to adopt, rescue or at least neuter. Your quiet, gentle soul brought peace when we needed it most. You will always be my Miracle Man.

Dear Alice, I don't know where to start. Even today, I can't think of you without a catch in my throat or an ache in my heart. When you ran out of Mara's house and into my life, a light turned on in me. We were soul mates, you and I. You showed us how to beagle-proof a house, your bark was the most ferocious (I swear) despite your 20 pound frame. Being your mom turned me into a grown up. Have I ever thanked you for that? I miss you every day but can now remember the good times more than the bad.

Looking at photos of my band I'm getting a little sad. Tonight is my last concert for a while. We'll have our summer break, and when we come back I'll have a class Wednesday nights that will prevent me from going for most of the semester. I do have a hard time getting to rehearsals most of the time but once I get there, I usually enjoy it. Hard to believe I've been with them 4 years already.

I never thought I'd say this, but.... if I get just 5 more points overall, I will pull off the C in stats that I need. I got a 60 on a quiz this week and was exstatic. I do have the worst teacher in the world but I'm going faithfully to the tutoring center after every class (all of which, I attend) and working hard to understand this crap. Either way, it's over in 2 weeks and 1 day, I would prefer to do well enough that I don't have to take it again after that.

I am proud to report that I finally have a second interview with IKEA tomorrow. Please keep your fingers crossed, I'd really really like this job.

Last Night's Goalie Report
Last night I discovered that playing 2 games back to back is harder than it looks. Well, harder than it looks pretty much describes everything about playing goalie. Getting dressed -- harder than it looks. Walking around -- harder than it looks. Going through the doors onto the ice -- WAY harder than it looks. Carrying your water bottle, picking up your stick, taking a drink of water, well you get the idea.

I muddled through both games and did both way better (the few stellar saves) and way worse (the goals where I had NO idea what to do and just stood there hoping I'd block it. I didn't.) than I'd expected. We switched at the half (this is 3 on 3, there are only 2 periods, not 3 like in regular hockey) so I didn't really win or lose. At the end of the second game I was absolutely spent. Today I feel like I've been beat up but I do think I'm getting a bit better at this. I think.

Lesson of the night: throwing yourself flat on the ground is probably easier if you don't have boobs.

I am just so sad about the loss of Buddy. That little guy saved my mom from a nasty bout of depression, inspired me to adopt both Alice and Ellie, outlived them both and went on to be our miracle man, beating malignant melonoma only to be blindsided by lung cancer. He got me into rescue and is largely responsible for at least 100 dogs finding homes. I miss him already, just like I've never stopped missing Ellie and Al. Not even for a minute.

Buddy was not, I repeat, not an outdoor man. Dad would take him for walks in the winter and now and again the Bud Man would slip out of his collar. Most hound dogs take this as a license to run far far away but not Buddy. He'd run, but straight for home and be knocking at the door to get back into the warmth of his house. The addition of Ben a few years ago helped Buddy get some spark back, anything Ben did, Buddy could do better. I know that Ben gave us an extra year or two with Buddy, and I'll always be grateful. Sprawled on the carpet below is Ben, Buddy is where he always was, in his bed.

Wishing you a safe journey, Bud Man. The world's better for you having been in it.

It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that my mom's beagle Buddy is headed to the bridge today. He had a very rough weekend, didn't want to eat on Saturday or today. He had a nice visit yesterday with Melinda, our dear friend who rescued him in the first place. Today, he didn't want to get up and only ate a little egg salad that Mom spoon fed him, so she knew it was time. He's having a very hard time breathing and last night they thought he had passed away when a prolonged choking fit got the better of him.

They're headed into their regular vet today at 5:30 pm Ohio time. Please send good thoughts Buddy's way as he makes the journey to the Bridge. I am certain that Alice is waiting for him, eager to lead the way to the buffet.