Y'all know I play hockey. There's no hiding that. What I have not really mentioned (forgive me if I have) is how hard this season has been. A couple of things happened this fall: 1. I made the Seals, acheiving a year-long goal. I still get giddy when I put on that jersey, like finally, I've arrived. I realize that arrived means pulling up to the always-ghetto, never-quite-clean Oakland ice rink but there I am nonetheless. A Seal. Part of a group with a very high, very small-in-range skill level. I'm at the bottom of that level, bottom-middle on a good day but that doesn't matter. I'm a Seal. Arf arf. 2. I made maroon. Going to the tryout was a last-minute thing. There was just something about being a Seal who played in Red that didn't sit right with me. Not exactly a pride thing but a 'I should be more challenged in my regular league' thing. So (if I may brag for one moment, which really, is why I have this site, for chances to brag about my bad self) I rolled into one maroon tryout and made it, no sweat. I wasn't even on the maybe list. I know, I looked, while lobbying for the maybes to get moved up too.
So there I am, in maroon. I adore the level of play, it's much more interesting than red but for a lot of our games, I missed my red friends desperately. Getting the call to be their goalie didn't help -- that's an entirely different thing than being a skater. Trust me. Goalie is like the hired help. After every game, every practice, I was getting really depressed. Way, way, way outside of my comfort zone and struggling. Hockey was a good challenge, but it wasn't fun anymore.
I pushed myself to make it fun again. This started with relaxing around my maroon team, speaking up more and trying to be a standout player. I stopped caring if we lost (which we have. A lot.) and just worked on having fun. That's starting to pay off. Last night, we lost 4-8 and I just don't care. It was pretty fun, though a couple people were a little too bitchy for my taste. I did have fun taking note of how many times a friend on the other team fell down (13) with Sally and shouting 'blah blah blah' every time the other coach shouted at his team. I played like shit but nobody seemed to notice. So there.
I'm still struggling with my co-ed team. They're a wonderful bunch of folks. I take all credit for this, I work really hard to make sure the group is mellow but hard-working and will get along. It's paying off, we're becoming a cohesive bunch. But now the problem is me. I love the team, I do. But I'm bored when we play. It would be much easier to back up my bored claim if I scored a lot (though I do rack up a few assists here and there) but it's still true. The Seals have spoiled me.
The real question is, where do I go from here? I'm just not sure but I know it needs to be wherever I can to keep this fun. Because it's worthless if I'm not enjoying it. Same goes for you people. Find something you like, maybe even something you love and do everything you can to keep it fun. Peace.