Wow, That Was A Lot Of Hockey!
In the span of 2 days, I played hockey 6 times. With a cold. I think that's a new record. Knowing that I had 2 games Saturday night, I begged off playing goalie for the Green practice and coached. Truth be told, coaching is usually more fun than playing goalie because everyone sees me skate and realizes that I may have some pointers to offer them. When I'm playing goalie, it's hard to get that credibility since, well, I pretty much suck at goalie. I'm sure they're thinking "how can *that* woman even pretend like she knows anything about this game when I'm in net.
But when I skate out with them, well, that is another, much more confidence-filled story. So that's what I did Saturday, offering my usual barrage of tips, working with a head coach who realized it was okay to let me talk and share some insights. I had a great time and when we went to scrimmage, I threw on my helmet (was already wearing shin guards and pants because well, it's ice and sometimes, I fall down. I forked out a lot of cash for that stuff, may as well protect my ass (and my legs) with it) and went out to play with them. It was a blast! I scored once but made every effort to pass it after that, trying my hardest to set up my teammates.
But here's the critical mistake. I wasn't feeling my best, the cold that kicked my ass late last week was still very much kicking when I played Saturday (not as much yesterday) so my depth perception wasn't what it once was. That's my story, anyway. I took the puck behind the net and somehow, the net JUMPED RIGHT INTO MY PATH and ATTACKED MY STICK, grabbing hold of said stick with a vengance, throwing my most flabby part right into the butt end of my stick. I heard a creaking noise and panicked at the thought of breaking yet another stick, so I had the good sense to drop it.
But the bruise, oh, the bruise is special. Were it not on my most protective, most flabby flabby part, I would post a picture of it for you here. But it is so you'll just have to trust me.
We went on to play 2 more games that night, a very fun Coco-NUTS game, where I scored a scrappy ass goal, assisted by my very favorite assistant, none other than AndreaTan! It was rad. I threw it back to the point, to her, she shot it, Marv the Goalie, whose name I love saying more than I should admit publicly (Marv! Marv! Marv! If Murray is triplets, after I shoot myself, I will name them Murray, Merrill and Marv!) came out for a save, caught it, then dropped it.
There it was, just in front of the goal line, waiting for Marv! or me to make a move. I moved first and put the thing in the net with a force I wouldn't have thought possible, given how little room I had to move. But it hit the back of the net with resounding THUD and I came up screaming for AndreaTan's hugeness on the play.
I'll gloss over the A-Team 2 game. They just aren't that fun anymore since they moved 2 totally-not-beginner teams down and we seem to play them EVERY FUCKING WEEK. I still adore the group but it's getting harder and harder to even be competitive a little teeny bit. And that part ain't fun, kids.
Sunday, I actually tied as a goalie. You know what that means, it means that I DID NOT LOSE in the net. 1 point is still more than 0 and I will take that point and carry it with me as if I have won the Liz Doughty Trophy of Greatness. I will put that point on my mantel and gaze at it, lovingly, for all of my days. Thank you, Green team, for scoring enough goals to give me that point. And thank you Nora (aka Tall Girl) for scoring yet again. That woman is a scoring machine, I tell you.
Subbed maroon right after and for once, was not plagued by post-goalie syndrome, where I screen my goalie in misguided attempts to block shots I have no business blocking, even if I do have a 'size advantage' over scrawny players like Viv. We did great, causing The Other Team, the one that is coached by That Loud Guy to lose 2-0. I took a very nice tripping penalty that I'm not ashamed of.
Headed over to Belmont to play my own maroon game and wound up out with Viv on D. I know, Viv, playing D? It totally rocked, she and I were a well-oiled machine, despite the fact that we'd had no oil and had never played D together. But DAMN, that was FUN! I mean sure, we lost 2-1 but Jessica, one of two teenagers in maroon scored her first goal to win the game. She was thrilled and couldn't stop talking about it after the game. No less than 6 times (yes, I was counting) she relived the experience for me. I am, without a doubt, thrilled for her but did take the opportunity to remind her that the goal that she was so (rightfully) proud of was also the goal that caused my team to lose so I was happy for her but bummed for my team.
All that skating seems to have caused the Great Snot Buildup of 2004 to dissipate and I'm feeling a whole lot better, even if I am sore and have a huge bruise on my flab. It still beats knitting.