The Option That's Not An Option

It seems that the only reason I use the internet anymore is to read about other people who are having babies, trying to have babies or adopting babies. Tonight, I found these really amazing and sweet photos of a family who picked up their daughter in China.

Long ago, before we began the exciting world of charting and tamagochi useage, we had this faraway idea of travelling halfway around the world to China to adopt a baby of our own, returning home with a little girl in tow, ready to show her a better life in America. I say better life in America not because I think for a moment that adoption automatically equals a better life. That's just not true. But for my dream Chinese baby, it would be a better, or at least, more promising life. I've been to China, I've seen how dark it is, how little hope there is for little girls and I'd love nothing more than to create our family that way, even though I'm really quite frugal and the thought of blowing that much cash to create a family makes my palms sweat. I love the idea of bringing home a girl who may already speak a little and having her other Mommy know how to talk to her. We would travel, Andrea's mom would help us negotiate the government and the challenge of getting a taxi or a decent dinner on our trip. I still love that idea but it's not meant to be.

Why? Because we're gay. The Chinese government has gone to great lengths to ensure that nice gay couples, even half-Chinese gay couples can't do that. So we're making Murray from scratch, we'll still have our half-Chinese baby but it will be in a different way than my dream.

But that's where this all starts, right? With reality that end up a bit different than dreams, yet just as wonderful and amazing. I just try not to think about those little girls over there in China who we won't be bringing home.