Sometimes, I Forget
I mean, really forget that being gay = being different than a lot of folks. It's not like I wear some sort of ginormous queer identification label on my forehead and with my longer hair and new-found tendency to wear shirts that are made specifically for women, I often 'pass' as straight (no, the purse does NOT do anything as a queer icon, even it is flourescent yellow). Which is fine. I'm just enough on the edge that guys don't bother me much (e.g. hit on me) and for the most part, it's a good place to be.

But then I go to the ob/gyn's office, which is PACKED TO THE GILLS with perfect-looking straight women and their khaki-wearing husbands. For once, I go alone so there I am, surrounded by these women, their makeup and perfect hairdos, me in my baggy shorts and feeling oh-so-very not like them.

And maybe that's what this is about. With that kind (read upper-middle class ladies who are more likely than not to be housewivesof crowd, I just don't fit in. Those women are like the girls I grew up with, who are probably very nice people and may have been all along (just like I was) but were so snotty to me all those years that I'd never even give them a chance now because they didn't give me a chance back then.

Yeah, it's probably more about that than actually being gay. But I still feel weird there. I can see why studies show that nice lesbians avoid health care, just because you can feel really weird there. And holy shit, if they don't bother to read my chart one more time, to see that I don't use birth control and despite the recent, very costly entrance of sperm into our lives, I'm still not concerned with getting pregnant from the copious amounts of sex I have, I think I'm going to smack them upside the head.

But that's just me.