Well, That Was Interesting
My weekend, that is. Sort of. Okay, not really. I did make some stunning observations, though:
- Motherhood Maternity has a return policy to rival the extensive limitations placed on that legendary toy Happy Fun Ball. Thanks to that, I now have a pair of too-small overalls that I can't wear or exchange. Woot.
- This is the more interesting revelation. People who don't have kids are 1000 times more likely to talk out of their ass about the childbirth/child rearing process than those who do have kids.
Case in point: talking to a friend's wife yesterday, she mentioned that nausea ends after the first trimester (YES, I KNOW THAT PEOPLE SAY THAT. OH HOW I WISH THAT WAS THE CASE FOR ME.). She also asked if we were planning 'natural childbirth,' a phrase that I take serious issue with. Because if you don't do 'natural' what's the alternative? Unnatural? A birth that results in a little baby with a tail, or horns? This woman also felt the need to share an absolute horror story about her friend's birth, a birth I already knew about since the friends' husband works with me.But let me tell you, all you child-free folks out there with horror stories, DO NOT SHARE THEM WITH THE PREGNANT PEOPLE. WE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW.
Given that, and the need to fill converstation with people, I will expand my list of preferred conversation pieces to include the tried and true 'congratulations on your decision to expand your family' and now, 'when is your due date?' and 'where are you registered?'
Given my current perspective on the subject, to anyone who I've EVER said anything stupid or horrific about childbirth to, I apologize with every fiber of my being, down to my ill-fitting maternity clothes.
- Not everyone knows about the show Jackass. The people who don't know that show make vague, unsupported claims about 'doing something' with their lives.
- You can pee a lot more than you ever imagined possible.
4 Comments:
As a represenative of the tribe of child-free peoples, I extend an apology to you. Some of our tribe have no manners or grace.
For your troubles I send you good tidings, and we shall punish the guilty by making them watch Glitter on a ten day loop.
11:18 AM
child-free people are not 1000 times more likely than everybody else, they're just like everybody else who want to relay their first or second-hand stories.
yeah, i don't like the implications of the phrase, 'natural childbirth', as if a c-section or drugs makes you any less a mother.
with that said, you're in your second trimester already, shouldn't the nausea be gone already?
1:53 PM
Well... my experience agrees with what Liz says, Andrea. 1000 times more.
And yeah, WTF is up with the need to tell pg women childbirth horror stories? When I was like 8.5 mos pregnant, I was waiting in line to pay for gas and this guy told me a horrible story. I said, "Don't tell me that! Tell me it took 9 hours and was painless." Stupid ass.
2:27 PM
I had this excellent chat with a new dad here at work about this. His main point: that once he'd been through it, all he really wanted to share with other people about the experience is the beautiful daughter he got in the end.
Because even though there's always a chance that something could Go Wrong, it's only human, only normal to have hope that it won't. To anyone who would want to take that hope away, I say an emphatic SHHHHhut The Hell Up.
2:50 PM
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