Day One Of Leave
I'm well aware that the next few weeks, should I actually get to use them all, will be the last chance I have for a looooong time to do the things I like to do while home during the week: read while eating by myself (unlike all of the people eating solo around me, all of whom seem utterly compelled to talk relentlessly on their cell phones, calling person after person just to try and catch a willing ear), see movies by myself (though I understand that the camera downtown has diaper daze, where you can bring your wee ones to the flick, rest assured that my ass and the sprung-from-my-body baby zass will be there soon enough) running random errands at my own pace, napping. All of those will cease to be options once this kid arrives so I'm doing my best to enjoy the time that I do have.

Until a really strong (FAKE, thanks, don't worry) contraction made me step backwards and breathe funny right there in the bottle aisle of babies r us. It was followed by another couple that were a lot less interesting, and then nothing. But wow, thanks for stopping by.

That made me head home to lay down and drink a lot of water (which made them stop, again, DON'T WORRY, I AM NOT IN LABOR YET!!). I was kinda bored, watching the episode of Blowout that I'd been saving for myself because that guy is so crazy about himself I wanted to enjoy every moment. The house phone rang and I was just bored enough to answer it. That time, it was some guy selling meat delivery service so to shut him up I fibbed a little and said we were "mostly vegetarian," a phrase that Susan often uses as a kind way of saying "Hey everyone else, I'm leaving more of this EXCELLENT beef that Bill made for you to eat," a phrase that makes me say "Thank YOU for making that claim if it means I get one more BIlly Beef taco." I went on to tell Mr. Meats on Commission that we don't cook meat at home. Which is totally true, since we don't cook at home at all.

I'm here surfing my little message boards and noticing that a whole bunch of May arrivals have already arrived. I've had a long talk with our Brunswick about this and have promised her that it's really better if she holds off until May. I'll let you know how that goes. Until then, my ass will be doing things with my maternity leave.