No Way
Last night we went to a breastfeeding class where we learned some really stunning facts:
- Breastfeeding is good for babies
- Formula is less good for babies than breastmilk
- Breast milk comes out of your boobs
- Your boobs contain milk after you have a baby
- You're a bad mother if you don't breastfeed your baby
- Lactation consultants can answer every question you have
- Every lactation consultant you meet will have different things to say, some of which are out of date. Only our instructor, apparently, has the most current knowledge
I was hoping to learn more about the basics, like how to get the kid to latch, how to prevent painful things from going on, how to work the breast pump, useful crap like that.
Nope, it was a 3 hour ad for breastfeeding. Now, seriously, if we didn't think it was a good idea, would we have shelled out for the class or given up a Tuesday night to take it? NO. We would have had a nice dinner, then parked ourselves in our very comfortable bed right afterwards, surrounded by our four-legged friends after stocking up on rat poison formula.
I know that it was more beneficial for Andrea than it was for me. She kept reminding me that the woman is an L&D nurse at our hospital, so it would behoove us to be nice to her. I'd smile for a second, laugh at the woman's next joke, then go back to zoning while listening for snippets of relevant information.
We did learn that at our hospital they don't give you blankets to take the kid home in (makes sense, I'd just not thought of it) and that the wipes there are not wet (huh? what's the point?) and one bit of valuable actual breastfeeding info: that the kid gives cues that she's hungry by licking her lips, by trying to put something in her mouth and that you can tell she's latched properly if she's taking long sucks. All of which we learned from a video that she showed.
I would have rather just seen the video and be done with it. But lucky us, we're going back next week to learn infant care basics from the same woman. I hope that isn't a 3 hour ad for babies, because we're already pretty sold on the concept.
I'm also glad that we didn't end up taking the childbirth class with her. I think I would have walked out. When we said we'd taken Hypnobirthing, she was impressed and said that it totally works. She also asked if we were from Santa Cruz. Nope, I thought, we're just those sandal-wearing Hypnobirthing dykes from the ghetto down the street.
And could you at least TRY to not just say "dad" all the goddamn time, when one of the 6 couples in front of you has two moms?
9 Comments:
i particularly liked her stupid story about how her friend thought she was gay because, after viewing a number of "skanky breasts" for some class, she was turned on by the woman who squirted the audience with milk out her perfect boobs. not sure if that was an incredibly lame attempt at bonding with us or what, but it was uncomfortable all around.
2:35 PM
wow, nice story, andrea!
and wipes that aren't wet...i'm so confused.
5:46 PM
Dude, the non-wet wipes confuse me too. Wouldn't they just be kleenex at that point?
5:50 PM
Nearly all hospitals use the non wet wipes now because there are so many chemicals in the moistened ones that a lot of babies are sensitive to. The non wet wipes are intended to be moistened with tap water before useage.
7:37 PM
I'm still tripping over the phrase "lactation consultant". I like "suxpert" much better.
1:26 PM
i'm so glad we have an expert in our circle...yes, part of that is mocking, but most of that is appreciation, which oddly came out sounding like a mock. but it's not. really. =D
2:16 PM
Lisa, you are so right! Suxpert is a much better term, captures both the idea and the reality...
2:26 PM
Wouldn't "suxspurt" be even better?
The non-wet wipes rock. They are like soft, thick paper towels, and wetting them with warm water... damn, why didn't I have the changing table in the bathroom?
9:39 PM
I am stunned by how many people teaching these classes don't get that the partner in class may or may not be dad, even if he is frigging male. Of course being the most perfect and politically correct lesbian childbirth educator and doula *I* don't do that! Sheesh, some people need to be educated.
12:07 PM
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