Holy shit, Batman, Val is already two months old. A lot has happened in those two months: I gave birth, Val emerged ready to party, we became Moms, we slept less, we patted more, we lost our Gus, we gained a stroller and most importantly, we got to know our wee baby daughter.
Val, you've gone from knowing how to eat and poop to falling in love with the baby in the mirror above your swing and your changing table (aka your bad self). You've gone from sleeping 2-3 hours at a time to sleeping 6 WHOLE HOURS in a row AT NIGHT. For this alone, we are in love with you.
But that's not counting this month's best tricks: honest to God smiles at us and cooing at whatever we're telling you. Those coos. Those smiles. They make a hellish pregnancy and extremely painful birth experience fade away. They also conspire to wipe away all the hurt I've ever felt in my lifetime in one glorious gleeful moment. A glorious gleeful moment that I get to have about 6 times a day right now.
People told me our lives would change when you came and they were right. But those changes (aside from the obvious ones, like there's another person living in our house, like now we have to buy diapers when we go shopping, like there's a cry I could recognize anywhere) are quite a bit different than I'd expected. In short: I'm a shitload more patient than I used to be and a lot less shy.
I know, I know, you read this blog and you think there's no way the author is shy. And a lot of times, I'm not. But in many social situations, especially ones filled with people I don't know, I'd often cling to the few people I knew and not venture forth. But now, and I have no idea why, I do venture forth. And damned if I don't have a good-ass time. I also have more patience for random strangers who want to talk babies, even if they have seriously dumb things to say. More on that later, so stay tuned.
We've also been letting people hold her more. And most of the time, that's fine but I have to say that I'm still sort of shocked at the way some GROWN PEOPLE we know and love handle her. A little too roughly at times, one person yanked off her sock the other day, in an attempt to wake her up, to give you one example. Huh? But moments like that give us an opportunity to expand my social confidence by standing up to folks in ways that won't ruin friendships. With that passing around of our baby, we've also learned that we're Not Okay with her crying while other people hold her. Our friends shouldn't be subjected to that kind of stress, nor should we, nor should Val, not when we know there's a very good chance we can remedy her moroseness then hand her back happy or asleep. So we're gaining confidence around taking her back when that happens.
Because we're the mommies, that's why. We're also learning to bridge the gap between wanting to be polite ('oh ha ha, dear friend who is shocking the shit out of me by behaving in a very unexpected way around Val, that's funny, please do that some more' while we cringe inside and long to smack their hands away from our child forever) to wanting to protect Val from unneccessary weirdness ('JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO OUR BABY??? WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN???') so we're finding some ways to say things that keep the peace but preserve our comfort level on Val's behalf ('please stop that, she doesn't like it. No, really, let's not do that' then turning away so the person can't touch her anymore). This sort of compromise has always been tough for me so Val is giving me a learning opportunity in a hurry by just being her bad self.
There's also the hearing assvice opportunity. I'm doing SOOO much better about this. Now, mostly I just listen and nod. Unless we're talking about formula then I get quite offended that anyone think she's not getting breastfed. I have no idea where this came from and I still don't quite understand my vehemence myself.
When I get assviced, I rarely share what we're doing, (usually, it's different. Otherwise it wouldn't be assvice, it'd be similar parenting styles) and I just wait till they've moved on, sometimes tucking away what I've heard in case it comes in handy later, just like all the bits and pieces of birth horror stories I heard came back when I needed to hear them.
So back to Val's second month. It's been amazing. She's gone from a lovely little blob of a girl to a full-on person with a Very Large Personality. The love we feel for her grows every day, along with that sparkling personality. Here's proof: