Yesterday we were at a lovely party with a bunch of nice lesbian
families. At one point I found myself sitting with 2 moms who had
expanded their families by one mom giving birth, then the other.

The moms I was sitting with started to commiserate about how nice it is
that their partners are, by default, the primary parent for the child
they gave birth to.

Huh?

This completely blew my mind, even as I watched one mom send her partner
to tend to the child that her partner had given birth to.

Even though I bitched and complained my way through 40 weeks, 2 days of
pregnancy and 1 year of breastfeeding, not once did I really consider
myself to be any more Val's parent than Andrea. Yes, obviously the
pregnancy and breastfeeding bits are work that is done by one parent but
that gave me no special license or even great bonding with Val that
Andrea didn't get. We are both her parents, each of us is, at different
times, her 'other mommy.'

I think I have more thinking to do around this yet...