How Does This Work?
All you married people out there, I need some advice. Yes, it looks very much like that Andrea and I will be getting hitched, though my dreams of being hugely pregnant for this event have obviously been dashed, thus removing a myriad of potential jokes about having a shotgun wedding. Though of course given that we have Val already, there's plenty of opportunity to talk about the cart going before the horse and that sort of thing. I guess you could also add those about why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, though.Anyhoo. So we're planning to do this. Not sure where or when. I'd imagined a classy little affair at city hall but it turns out that city hall only (which is actually the county) does weddings between 10 am - 3:40 pm, Tuesday-Friday. Not exactly convenient if you have a day job and no plans to be whisked away on a honeymoon immediately afterwards.
So we're looking at other options, all of which will be small because well, big=lots of cash and that's not an option for us right now, probably not ever because as you know, I'm cheap.
In the meantime, I've resolved to change my name. Not just my last name, but my first. At long fucking last I will just be Liz. You cannot possibly fathom the peace I feel at testing out my new name 'Liz T..!'
I realized that since I'll be going for that change, I may as well ditch my middle name as well, though if my parents found out it would no doubt upset them. But hey, I don't particularly like it, I never tell anyone what it is because I don't like it so why not ditch it with the impending name change?
My confirmation name is Marta, yes, after my Grandma. So I'm thinking I'll become Liz Marta D... T. Just like Val. Good times, no?
From what I can tell, if you just change your name without getting married, this costs you $320. But if you're married, you can apparently just wave your marriage license around places like the DMV and get new things issued in your new name. FOR FREE!
Of course I like the free option but what I want to know is, besides the risk of running into some asshole at the DMV who feels the need to comment/hold back changing things because of their own personal views of gay marriage, along with changing my last name for free, can I throw in the other changes as well? Or am I stuck paying $320 for the priveledge of being known as Liz on All Documents Related to Me?
I also read something about getting a new birth certificate issued with your new name. I'm not too keen on this, since many years ago when I was born, then adopted, I got a new one issued at that time. I kinda feel like 1 abandoned birth certificate is enough for one lifetime. Plus, um, it's not like I'm being reborn though I guess you could argue in a manner of speaking I would be...
So, what say you? Can I become Liz T on my marriage license? Do I need a new birth certificate to complete this change?
And can you believe that I'm talking about any of this like it's going to happen????
6 Comments:
This was my experience in MA -
Amy and I both changed our middle and last names on marriage license w/ no problem. We both had no problems w/ DMV or SSA by bringing marriage license and other required info for name change. We had a @#$%@$ of a time changing our passports and ended up needing to go through probate court to change our names legally. Again.
Apparently - in MA anyway - you can *only* change your last name on your marriage license. Whoops! But in order to get new passports, we needed to go through probate court anyway, since the Passport Agency is a federally-run federal agency (unlike SSA which is a state-run federal agency or the DMV which is a state-run state agency.) Probate court lady was super-helpful but supremely annoyed that the local town clerk changed our middle names. But she helped us through everything we needed to do for court. And since this is so common now in MA, we didn't have to go before a judge to petition.
So I guess what I'm saying is that if you ever plan on traveling out of the U.S. you're going to need to pay the big bucks anyway, at least until DOMA is repealed. Might make sense to do that first, so you can make sure you get your new first and middle names on your marriage license without anyone giving you crap.
Amy and I call this "the gay tax."
I blogged my piss-off-ed-ness here: http://www.librarygrrrl.net/2007/08/17/380
4:21 PM
well that is fascinating about passports. but yeah, my instinct is that at the DMV they won't care, even more so if you don't happen to have andrea with you at the time. whoever you get will likely assume andrea is a male name, for some weirdass reason. folks are reeeeally good at assuming everyone is straight, even if it's staring them in the face.
congrats on being able to get married :) i'm glad to have the DP still, but that is so nice.
4:54 PM
My guess is that you'll need to change your first & middle names separately before even getting the marriage license if you want the final certificate to actually use Liz Marta; my experience was that the city hall people seem to be pretty strict about having everything match exactly. Once that is done and you have the certificate changing your last name is easy-peasy, except that its a lot of paperwork, running around, and a PITA if you travel a lot and need to make advance reservations and switch over your passport (which is why I haven't legally changed my last name). At this point I have it scheduled for sometime in for '09...
8:30 PM
I don't remember why I asked (probably because I changed my middle name), but you can change your middle and last names when you get married, but not your first. To change your first name you have to file a change of name request which will cost. This was 9 years ago though, so maybe it's changed?
3:12 PM
Can't help with the first and middle names as I only changed my last name. But what I remember is that I had to go in person to the Social Security office and probably in person to the DMV. And I needed a copy of the marriage license. When I went to the bank, I just had the ceremonial marriage thing and they took it anyway (despite it saying "not a real license" on it). Other places (store credit cards, etc) I was able to call up and do it over the phone. For the passport, I had to send in my old passport and the marriage license. Then they sent back the same passport with a stamp on it referring to page X and page X in the passport was typed the name change. Pretty weak. I kept getting confused when I went to use my passport after that.
This was many years ago so the banks and such may be more picky about having a real marriage license.
Also, if you plan on doing any travel, you need to time it right. Like you don't want to buy a ticket in your old name and then get your new driver's license before you go on the trip.
Another thought. If you are going to have to pay or go through extra hassle to change your first name, then why not change it all at once....even if it's before you marry. Then you won't have to do it twice.
4:15 PM
My only piece of name-changing related advice is only to get one copy of the marriage certificate (or maybe two so you have a backup).
I got like 10 copies (at $10 each) because I thought that every place that needed a copy in order to change my name would keep their copy. In fact, every place mailed me back the copy of the certificate.
7:25 PM
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