It's still hard telling people that we're pregnant again. I still don't
quite grasp that it's true, that somehow all that heartache of failed
cycles is behind us and IVF has emerged from the proverbial woods on a
white horse to carry us past the pain.

So I say, yes, due in November. No, we don't know the gender yet and
though we find out in a few short weeks, I think I'll post it after
we've caught up with all the grandparents in Ohio first and told them in
person. I'd like to have that glee of 'OMG IT'S A (whatever it is), I'M
THE LUCKIEST GRANDMA/GRANDPA/GRANDADDY IN THE WORLD!!' in person.
Because no matter what gender George is, I can assure you that we'll be
saying to ourselves first, OMG IT'S A (whatever it is), WE'RE THE
LUCKIEST FAMILY IN THE WORLD TO BE ADDING A (insert pronoun here) to our
family. And I can also assure you that Val, and now George is indeed
the luckiest little girl to have such amazing grandparents in her life.
Seriously.

I will also mention how much I love looking at Val and seeing the ways
she looks like my birthmom, as yes, like me as well. And knowing this,
because I'm lucky enough to have found her, and to have her embrace her
role as Val and George's Grandma. And that the rest of her family has
embraced their roles in my life as well. Many adoptees don't
experience anywhere near this kind of acceptance, please don't think for
one moment that I'm anything but grateful for the chance to know and
love the people who brought me into this world. And to watch them adore
my daughter as much as we do.

Given all that and a whole lot more, I've decided that I'd like to tell
the grandparents myself, or, more likely, allow Little Miss Blabbermouth
to spill the goods on our behalf.

But back to my point. Though I'm starting to look the part, I still
feel like sort of a pregnancy imposter. It cannot possibly be true, we
cannot possibly be considering minivans and already the owners of a
double stroller that kinda scares me (Phil & Teds Vibe, if you're
wondering. And OF COURSE I found it on sale) because no, we're somehow
not yet free from that long heartbreak that brought us here.

I do wonder when or if we will ever be, or if the scars of infertility
are something I will carry with me for all of my days.