This, I Don't Get

It's 2 things really. First? The number of people who were shocked
that I didn't want to even attempt a VBAC. Apparently, in some circles
(by and large, it seemed to be circles of people without kids, people
who might not have even seen that film in health class) it's expected
that one would, of course, be willing to risk uter.ine rupture/the death
or severe maiming of the child. All in exchange for the sheer joy of
ripping apart one's lady bits.

Gee, no thanks. Not for me. Especially now, when I have the advantage
of hindsight. Vivian didn't drop, she made no real attempt to head out
via my still-intact lady bits. I suspect that being 0 for 2 in the 'kid
trying to emerge via your privates' department is related to a tailbone
injury I got a few years ago.

But who knows and who cares. What I don't get is the number of women
who are not doctors and who are not me yet rage freely on message boards
far and wide about how horrid women are for 'choosing' c-sections.

I have just one thing to say in response.

Fuck you.

Well, maybe two things. That, and shut the fuck up, what do you know?
I guess you're 'lucky' enough to have had a life-changing, unmedicated
birth surrounded by 800 of your closest friends and some kind of
extensive ritual. I wasn't. And a lot of women aren't. No, we had to
make a hard choice to put our children's safety before our own. Like
that will never happen again in the course of parenthood.

What's so bad about starting that program at birth? What? You need to
fill some void in your life by berating those who don't get to have the
same experience as you?

Well, you and your weird agenda can just suck it.

I realize that sounds defensive. I can only offer you this: I'm really
not. It's more about being really tired of self-righteous people with
weird agendas telling other people what they should or should not carry
guilt about.

2 for 2. C-sections, for the win.

The other thing that Absolutely Blows My Mind is people giving me shit
about pumping. Because apparently, I'm supposed to do two things: call
a lactation consultant and try a nipple shield in order to improve
Vivian's latch.


Clearly, these people do not know how very stubborn I am. My kids get
breastmilk for at least a year. I *will* make that happen.

If pumping is soooo bad, what's better? Formula?

Not to the lactavists, not by any means.

The lack of appreciation by folks with these weird agendas for the extra
efforts inherent in pumping as much as I do and for the extra recovery
time/issues involved in a c-section will no doubt always piss. Giving
birth and breastfeeding are very personal experiences. I resent anyone
who dares to question a parent's motivation in either area. Especially
mine. Heh.

In the meantime, I'll continue to be a bit of a hypocrite and give you
shit about your carseat usage. How do you like them apples?


and this is what Blogger wen said...

Maybe you'll still give them hell about their carseats but it seems to me that all your choices (carseats included) were based on *health and safety* not on an arbitrary assumption that what is good for you is good for everyone.

12:13 PM

and this is what Blogger gs said...

Regarding VBAC, the funny thing (and I don't mean HA HA funny) is that I know another woman who has decided on a VBAC, and she's catching all kinds of crap from the meddling know-it-alls about that decision. So you would have been on the receiving end no matter what you did.

3:31 AM

and this is what Blogger Jennie said...

Oh man, I totally get not going for the VBAC. For so many reasons.

I'm glad the pumping is going well. Would it be any help at all to offer you room in our downstairs freezer? Probably not.

Sorry your back is still sucky. I hope the chiro gets it back to Good soon.

12:28 PM

and this is what Blogger Shelli said...

I even have Malka quoting stats to women who hail cabs with babies and no car seats.

But I still want to produce a business card to pass out. Quick facts, links, etc. Because my saying: "You know, until they're 60 or more pounds, you really should be using a car seat!" And having them flip me off, or tell me that I'm being nosy. I usually respond with: "Nope, just trying to save your kid's life."

And Malka is now a helmet police, too - if she sees kids riding scooters w/o helmets, she tells me they really should wear one...

8:15 PM


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