1.22.2010

Post-Flight Report

I said more than once that if I spent a lot of energy worrying about
getting through security with the pump and enough milk to get through at
least a day, that it would turn out to be no big deal but something else
would cause issues.

And hey, I was right.

The milk itself was subjected to some vapor test. Right, still not a
bomb but thanks for checking. And that was it. Pump and parts were
hardly glanced at and we were on our way.

To a plane that didn't leave until 4 hours after it was supposed to.
Weather in Vegas prevented them from leaving so we sat at the gate.
When it was clear it would be a while before we'd actually leave, I
availed myself of the nursing room off the airport bathroom. I
displaced the custodian who takes her breaks in there but it was all
fine.

I packed frozen milk in my checked baggage and that was just starting to
melt when I finally got to our condo around 10 pm.

More on the hockey later...

1.19.2010

Long Time No Blog

But it's for a good reason, I swear. I've been playing a shitload of
hockey and when not playing hockey? Enjoying the heck out of my time
with the kidz.

However, since it is now 5 am and my back pain has once again flared up,
rendering me wide awake and more than a little afraid to lay down, I'll
fill you in on what's going on.

Hockey. I am slow. My shot, which was once sort of okay and could
somewhat consistently get a fair bit off the ground, is now a dismal
shadow of the kind of shot I seem to remember having. But I've got
faith, it'll come back eventually. For now, I keep winding up like I
expect it to be my old shot, then being annoyed when the puck gets about
2 inches off the ground instead. I get even more annoyed when the puck
stays on the ground.

But oh, am I having a fab-u-lous time out there.

Random - what is with all these cooking shows hosted by people who chop
as poorly as I do? Isn't that sort of the basic requirement for the
job?

Anyhoo. Val is a fabulous big sister. She's handling the whole thing
very well and we're so proud of her. It kills me that I can't carry her
around right now. Between my c-section scar and my back, all 32 pounds
of her are out of luck. Of course we cuddle in the bed, couch and on
any horizontal surface but I know it's not the same for her. And it's
sure not for me.

To that end, I'm headed into the chiro today to get started on actually
fixing this.

Also random - we now have more breastmilk in the freezer than we have
food for people who chew. We're about to start eating only frozen meals
to make room for more milk in there.

Though we don't really have space for it, I see a small upright freezer
in our future. It pleases me to have so much milk on hand. Assuming my
stubborn ass makes it through Viv's first year with the breastfeeding,
it's my hope that she'll be able to have a bottle of the stuff a day for
months after the year mark thanks to this freezer stash.

Recently, I posted on fb a question about flying with the pump. In
response I got a whole bunch of assvice about working on Viv's latch.
Wtf, seriously? Was that in any way related to the question I asked?

Why do breastfeeding advocates have such a narrow agenda about the
'best' way to feed a baby? According to them, the only acceptable way
to feed my baby is at the boob and I'm at fault for not trying harder.

I know. It is complete horseshit and about as unsupportive of pumping
moms as you can be. Would they rather I just quit and buy formula
instead? No?

Then SHUT THE FUCK UP. Exclusive pumping is hard. Ridiculously hard.
You do not know the suck that is attempting to pump while the baby
you're pumping for screams her head off because she's hungry for a
bottle you can't quite prop up correctly with your elbow and your 3 year
old is suddenly no longer content to watch Olivia.

Oh, how I wish that I were making that up. But I keep at it because I
know the value of breastmilk. No matter how it makes its way from the
recesses of my boobs into her wee tummy.

To that end, I didn't give up on the Latch Situation. No, no, it has
actually improved and right now she is feeding The Preferred Way
(according to breastfeeding enthusiasts with an agenda) about half the
time. That is good enough for me.

I realized recently that one of the greatest gifts in my life is that I
am rarely plagued by self-doubt. I'm guessing that this confidence is
my reward for suffering through years doubting myself/low self-esteem
and now I'm done. It's freeing, knowing that at any given moment, I'm
confident enough in my choices that I don't make them more difficult by
second-guessing myself.

Just now, I put together that my Days Of Doubting Myself ended right
around when Andrea and I got together. Go figure that she's the
catalyst for even more fabulousness.

That's all for now. Hope you all are well.

1.09.2010

Breaking My Own Rules

We're going to take Val to see the new princess movie. I'm making this
exception because 1. there really aren't a whole hell of a lot of movies
Val can see in the theater and 2. the princess isn't lily white.

Since movies seem to make her scream and cry these days, I don't have
high hopes for how this will go. The weird thing is, she screams and
cries during the movie, then, later. talks incessantly about the parts
of the movie she did get to see.

For example, we saw the chipmunks movie while my folks were here. First
scene in, she screamed and cried. Andrea took her to the lobby for a
while and when they returned, she buried her face in Andrea's lap,
peeking out periodically.

At school, EVERYONE knows that she saw the 'squeak-wheel' and she's even
made her male teacher be Alvin, to her Brittany (of the Chipettes
fame). So there's something about movies that she likes.

We'll see how it goes. That's all we can do.

1.05.2010

Back To It

Ha, ha, I know, a pun in a post about my back. Very funny.

Yes, it is, thank you.

Anyhoo, it was 2 days of misery, absolute misery before my back and abs
felt better enough that I um, skated in a really low-key local hockey
tournament while hopped up on a large number of Advil. Y'all knew that
sitting around is just not my thing, right?

However, lowering myself down from the world's tallest boards took a
toll and I ended up skipping our final game.

The good news is that I've sort of started to regain my skillz (limited
tho they are) on the ice. Or at least my confidence. The miracle of
water aerobics means that my stamina is sort of intact, and that is just
huge.

Also, somehow, I fit back into my excellent, super-favorite red hockey
pants. This feat, which took almost 3 years after Val's birth, took all
of 7 weeks after Vivian's birth. Go, me!

5 days after The Great Back Pain of 2009-10, I'm still in a bit of pain
but it's a lot better. I have learned my lesson, I won't be attempting
a full ab workout anytime soon. Sometimes I can be just so dumb. This
was one of those times.