LizSpeaks

Fire

2008-07-24T01:52:00.001-07:00

Last night, we were over at a friend's house and Val was playing
nicely. Out of nowhere, she got sooo hot from an instant-onset fever.
We took her home right away and loaded her up with Tylen.ol, that cooled
her off pretty well.

She stayed home from school today, continual Tylen.ol helped keep her
fever down. The weird thing is, she acted like she feels fine so I
dunno what's going on.

I do think she's grown a bit, maybe she's cracked 26 lbs! Hopefully
she'll be cooler tomorrow.

Broken Record

2008-07-24T01:47:00.001-07:00

Zeus. That guy knows how to do the same thing over and over, like
defying death, staring it square in the face and panting in its general
direction. He's back to eating kibble, he's mostly taking his drugs,
mostly doing his business outdoors save a poop this morning.

His days shape up like this: find a comfy place to sleep. Sleep. Wake
up to eat, eat most of what he's offered, stumble out the doggie door to
pee just over the threshold, come back in, drink water, sleep. Repeat.

I realized we haven't heard him bark in months. He's not up for begging
anymore (this, I actually find is a gift, no more hot stinky breath on
my right calf) but, and there's always a but with him, he's still eating
and wagging his tail.

I know now for certain that walking out of the vet's office early that
Monday morning was the right thing. Telling that nurse who stood
poised, trimmers in one hand, euthanasia solution in the other, 'I can't
do this,' that was wise.

Because our Z? He's not dead yet. He still feels like taking a walk.

It's Like The Good Old Days

2008-07-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

I'm loitering, waiting to go to my 11pm hockey game. This is my 4th day
in a row of playing and ya know, it's been nice to be on the ice this
much.

I can't seem to buy a win but hey, sometimes that's how it goes.

I Guess I Didn't Finish Telling You About My Trip

2008-07-20T01:14:00.001-07:00

What with Zeus deciding not to die and all that, I got distracted from
telling you more. In short, we had a really nice time. There was a lot
of driving all over town but it's worth it when Val is getting loved on
at each end. She had so damn much fun with her uncles, their lady
friends, her grandparents and great-grandparents.

Val is one lucky girl to have all this love.

She and I got along well. I don't think she had even 1 timeout the
whole time. I didn't get sick of her questions or demands, having
attentive family around helped quite a bit, even if nobody volunteers to
take her to the bathroom.

What I hadn't counted on was how much guidance I needed to give my
parents in caring for her. If I didn't spell it out (take her to the
bathroom as soon as she wakes up, for example) it didn't get done. I
should add that I tend to be kinda bossy with them in situations like
this so I accept that part of this is my fault.

Just the same, that left pretty much all the work in caring for Val to
me. That meant giving her a bath by myself, helping her get dressed,
making her food, reminding her to pick up, keeping a close eye on her
when my parents attention drifted to other things, reminding my parents
about things that you can't do around/with Val (hold her by her arms,
lest her elbow/shoulder pop out again, steal food from her plate)
putting her to bed, carrying a sleeping Val and all her accessories in
from the car myself etc etc etc.

By the last full day of the trip, I was so exhausted I told Andrea to
get a sitter during her hockey game (like we've got sitters to spare
just laying around) so I could chill out. My legs hurt like I'd been
playing a tournament and my brain, it was fried.

I managed to get great sleep that night and by the time I got ready to
come home I felt a lot better. We had a great last day, visiting with
Grandma K and Great-Grandparents B, then heading to the airport with my
parents.

Val did awesome on the plane flights, thanks in part to the lollipops
Uncle R and his amazing lady friend helped her get. She pretty much ate
lollipops the whole way home.

As we started to land in San Jose, she started to poop out. I couldn't
let her sleep because there was no way to get her off the plane if she
couldn't walk. I didn't have enough hands to carry her carseat, her, my
big bag o tricks and her backpack down the stairs. When a video came on
about China, showing panda bears and birds, I just kept talking to her
to keep her awake. I'm sure I annoyed the shit out of the people around
us but so what, I needed an awake child in order to get off the plane.

In the end, she stayed awake and the pilot was kind enough to carry Val
off the plane. We strolled through the airport and when Val saw Andrea,
she ran right up to her and screamed MOMMY!!!

It's a trip I could do again, thanks to Val being such a great
traveller. What I thought would be the worst parts - the travel itself
and all the hassles of airports and airplanes - was really no big deal.

If I did it again, the only thing I'd do different is stay a day longer
and be more pro-active about telling my parents how I need them to
help. It was definitely worth it and now Val has frequent flyer miles
of her own.

WhileSeated's Finest Work

2008-07-16T16:23:00.001-07:00

.
Originally uploaded by whileseated

Finally! An entrance for Boozers!!!

Oh Hey

2008-07-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

We scheduled our wedding! It's gonna be super small, at SF City Hall in
September. We're working now to arrange some kind of not fancypants
reception for sometime in October. What I'm learning is that weddings
are expensive.

For all you who have been through one (or more) already, I'm guessing
that you know this already. But for me, little old me who honestly
thought I would never ever get to have one (at least not a legal one),
well, this is all new. And spendy.

We've looked at about a bazillion web pages of halls and restaurants and
hotels within 20 miles of our house and really, nothing looks right. A
couple look nice enough but they make you use their fancypants caterers
to the tune of way more money than we're inclined to spend.

Maybe you three can help us here. How did you find the place to have
your reception? How much of a pain in the ass was it? What would you
have done differently?

Feel free to write me a book here, after all bytes are free.

2008-07-16T14:41:00.001-07:00

You Must Read This

Okay, fine, I get it, you all are busy doing things with your life but seriously, if you can spare some time, and even if you can't, I have a book for you to read. Three Cups Of Tea is this totally inspiring story of a regular guy who was climbing a mountain. He stumbled onto a poor village in Pakistan after he almost died coming down. The villagers took him in and inspired him to build a school there and educate all of the children, not just the boys. What he's gone through to build that school, and now, many many others is just astounding.

It'll make you feel a bit small but man, this man's mission is a huge inspiration.

I'll Be Damned

2008-07-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

If Zeus didn't start to eat Rainie's kibble this morning, then eat a
whole serving of plain old dog food. I'm thinking the man wants that
sweet 16 party after all.

The Power Of The Arches

2008-07-12T23:41:00.000-07:00

Since Zeus has had a waning interest in food, I went for broke tonight
and got him what I consider the final food: McDonald's. He ate 2
cheeseburgers in a row like he was his old self and I even got him to
take all his meds.

At this point, it's the small victories and knowing that he's
comfortable. I'll take it.

Still Plugging Along

2008-07-12T02:17:00.001-07:00

No real news on the Zeus front. He's eating a bit, but I'm having to
get more creative about what he eats. Pretty much just leftovers now.
Which is fine, except that I'm having a hell of a time getting him to
take his pills.

Any suggestions? Anyone?

Val apparently had a great time playing with L at AmFam's house last
week because all day today she kept asking to go back and play strollers
again. She also asked to go bck to O-hi-oh.

I suppose that in parenting there will always be things that drive me a
bit batty. Early on, it's the lack of sleep and the breastfeeding. For
months now, it's been the constant 'why?' And now, she's in a new phase
where she asks for something and no matter what we say, she asks 1500
more times in a row. It makes for a day at home with her to be a bit
tedious.

Don't get me wrong. One day I'll look back on this and miss it. I know
that, but it's still frustrating now.

I went back to the shi-shi baby store and bought more fancypants traning
pants for Val to wear at night. I said oh hey, they seem to shrink and
the woman goes oh yeah, they shrink.

Maybe you could have mentioned that when she and I were discussing how
my child is on the border between sizes? No? Thanks.

I know, not a very uplifting post for y'all. I think I'm still kind of
tired from our trip.

Today's Hospice Diet

2008-07-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

The man only wanted Cap'n Crunch. So that's what he had. Didn't get
him to take his pain pill, tho. I do think the end is near but I would
not put it past him to surprise us again.

Where He Stands

2008-07-08T18:59:00.001-07:00

Zeus is spending a lot of time sleeping now. But the new drugs seem to
help, at least to the point where he'll stand up and walk around some.
The eating? That's not going so well. He'll eat wet dog food, but only
the nastiest of the nasty, Al.po that Gus also enjoyed at the end.
Pills only work in turkey now, but I wanted to make damn sure he got
them in and they had a chance to work so I'm working around his
reluctance to eat.

I understand that he's really on hospice care now but just the same,
he's not quite ready to go yet.

Brighter In the Morning

2008-07-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

When I got Z home last night, I mixed his new meds into wet food so they
could get started working. This morning, he was sleeping across the
doorway to our room. He'd taken a huge dump inside but oh well. For
the first time in a while, he wasn't panting from pain and he got up,
slowly, yes, so slowly, and stood on all 4 legs to eat his breakfast.

I understand all too well that we're not working towards a cure for old
age here. But I'm glad as hell that I had all that time sitting with
him in the vet's office because just before they came in with the needle
that was to end his life, he kissed me on the nose.

Had I gone through with putting him down last night, after that kiss, I
would have wondered way too much if we'd been premature. No, you don't
want to be too late to go and put them down but early? That's worse.

Even if we go back in a couple of days and end up putting him down then,
at least he's had every chance to enjoy the wet food and tasty snacks
that we'll be providing him.

Spoke Too Soon

2008-07-07T00:52:00.001-07:00

They came in with the needle and I could not not not do it.

We're coming home to try some new meds for 2 days.

15.5

2008-07-07T00:18:00.001-07:00

That's how old Zeus was. We had him for 7.5 of those, the longest we've
ever had a dog. He's been a good guy and a very loving pest. We shall
miss him for sure.

I'm at the vet now, waiting with him. The vet's office is busy for this
time of night. That means other animals with more urgent needs:
animals who can be saved.

Z hasn't eaten all day, or rather he scoffed at his usual kibble and
only ate the wet food we offered. But he did not rise as he ate, no, he
lay in his bed struggling to get to the food.

Tonight, we got Val ready for bed and my bed, it was so close, I am so
so tired already but I went to check on Z and it was clear. So clear.

He's ready to go. He hurts too much and we can't fix it anymore. No
matter the temperature, he can't stop panting, he's trying to pant away
the pain. It won't budge and neither will his legs.

I'm here alone, Val needed to go to bed and nobody is around to watch
her at this time of night.

So me and Z, we're waiting for the doc to come in. It's been a half
hour now. Please come in now before I stop being so strong.

On our way home!

2008-07-05T15:40:00.001-07:00

After a fun-filled 5 days in Ohio, Val and I are on our way home. She
has been fantastic, behaved so well. I think she's had maybe one time
out the whole time. Maybe not even that. Go Val!

She had a potty accident this morning when my parents heard her get up.
I guess I should have told them, in no uncertain terms, to take her to
the bathroom right away. Five levels of sigh.

In case you were wondering the fancypants Imse Vimse training pants were
absorbent enough that we didn't have to wash the sheets. Not great but
not bad.

Must go, we're about to take off! Later peeps!

I May Suck

2008-07-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

As I lay here not sleeping and admitting to myself once and for all that
I really shouldn't eat meatloaf, I realized that I don't think Val ate
enough today.

I suck.

She did, however, meet some new friends from inside the computer, have a
good nap with me, visit AmFam and crew (omg seriously, L and M are so
freaking cute. Seriously.) then head up to my grandparents' house,
where she was absolutely the center of attention.

Teenaged uncles and their energy-filled girlfriends are a gift from
God. Uncle R and his lady friend L played with her so hard that she
sacked out in the car and has been asleep ever since.

It's hit a point where, if nothing else, it would be more convenient if
my parents and birthmom would meet. Right now it feels like having
warring in-laws so we have to carefully divide our time between the
families. Not that they're actually warring, no no, it's just that
after all this time, they've never met. And that's getting old because
it might be nice if they could pick us up here or attend some of the
July 4th festivities together.

I don't know the Proper Thing here, there's no manual for this. But in
the meantime, Val is absolutely showered in love, attention and gifts
while she's here. I only wish I'd thought to pack some healthy snacks
for her today.

Tomorrow we're going to have July 4th till it hurts. The (my snooty
hometown) parade, a visit with some relatives here, then off to W-town,
where my uncle lives, to take in their parade. Back here for
(hopefully) a nap, dinner with my folks, then fireworks back in W-town.
Should be a fun, but seriously tiring day.

We head home on Saturday. I'm feeling rather glad that we'll have the
extra day to rest before going back to work on Monday.

This trip has been great for me and Val. I'm getting a chance to spend
some Quality Time with her and man, she's just funnier and more amazing
and more smarter than I seem to have time to appreciate at home when
we're surrounded by our daily lives. Despite being thrown into a ton of
different situations, she's reacting like a pro. I am, as always, so
impressed with her.

We Made It

2008-07-02T03:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a long day but Val did great. Followed directions well,
stayed with me when I needed her to and behaved well on the flights.
Some poor toddler across the way from us cried the entire time we flew
but not Val.

We were a slow-moving duo, that's for sure. But we got here in one
piece.

Highlights?
-me forgetting about the charming staircases used to board planes at our
local airport. They're fine when you're alone but imagine carrying a
carseat and trying to wrangle a toddler who doesn't have a lot of
experience with stairs. I finally figured out to hold her hand for 3
steps, tell her to wait, then go up a couple steps and start over.

Toward the top the flight attendant took the seat from me and placed it
on our seat. This was a huge thing, so kind.

-the flight attendant on our second flight wouldn't let me have a belt
extender for the car seat. Nor would her show/explain the prohibitive
regulation on that. A quick go.ogle search from my plane seat revealed
that he's likely full of shit but in the end I had to deal with not
having one because he wouldn't budge and the woman working with him just
kept saying how he's been around for 20 years. Like I care. He's still
wrong and now I'm stuck.

I twisted the short part of the seatbelt to make a tighter install while
leaving the buckle accessible. I dunno what else would have worked.

I just hate it when people do small things that seem arbitrary and mean,
things that in the end make your life harder for no reason.

-the half-drunk woman in front of me had the nerve to complain to the
screaming kid's parents about his screaming. Because, ya know, I'm sure
they liked it too.

-Val went right for all the ceramic shit on my mom's glass dining room
table, then looked really hurt when I was like 'NOOOOO!'

Mom had meant to ask about that. I refrained from saying 'she's 2.
Removing breakable objects is a given.'

-Val saw fireflies for the first time.

-she ate more yogurt raisins than I would've imagine possible. From the
last raisin eaten until we got off the plane I was hoping like mad that
she wouldn't suddenly need to poo.

-she had 0 potty accidents yesterday. 0. I'm so freaking proud.

-she said goodnight to my parents dog about 5 times. I think she and
Maggie are gonna be good buds.

-i can't sleep.

I Can Count

2008-06-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

I just now did the math and realized that our second flight on Tuesday
is 5 hours long. I have a ton of stuff packed, toys, stickers, coloring
books, crayons and books but now I'm wondering if that will be enough to
entertain her for 5 hours. In a row.

We'll have ample snacks, too. Andrea is our official pre-flight snack
packer so I know we'll have plenty of entertaining crackers on hand.
But all of a sudden it's seeming like it's going to be a very long day.

Just Call Me Goody Two Shoes

2008-06-27T21:49:00.001-07:00

I took Val to the park tonight. It was just her and one little boy, he
was about 3. Val played nicely with a truck that someone donated to the
park, she was making macaroni and cheese out of sand in it when the
little boy came running out of nowhere, swiped the toy and threw it into
the sand pit.

I followed him and asked politely for him to get it then give it back to
Val. He ignored me, then took off towards his parents. I followed,
repeating my polite requests so hios parents could hear until they took
notice.

They were a lot less polite with him than I was. It seemed like he
wasn't used to needing to apologize (I didn't ask him for an apology, I
just wanted Val to get the toy back) so he Freaked. Out. Screaming and
carrying on until the dad spanked him.

Eventually he stood and cried but handed Val the toy back. Val was too
stunned by the wailing child before her to say thank you but the truck
came back to her in the end.

I'm not interested in parenting other people's kids, no, not at all.
But I am keenly aware of the example I'm setting for Val. What matters
to me is that she know it's okay, it's necessary to stand up for
yourself and that her moms are always going to back her up, even when
she's not agressive enough or quick enough to know what happened.

Because one day, some kid will swipe a toy from her, kick her for no
reason or just be rude without cause and I want nothing more than for
her to have the confidence and persistance to say 'excuse me, I was
playing with that. Please give it back now.'

Not a few moments later, we drove through the pharmacy to pick up
Andrea's newest round of antibiotics. While I'm waiting, a car pulls up
next to us. It's got 3 kids in the back including a 3ish year old boy.
I am so stunned at this that I stared, stared, stared because what I saw
was that little kid standing up, walking around in the car. No car
seat, not even a seatbelt.

Call me goodie twoshoes but I called the cops. There's a lot of carseat
mayhem that I'll ignore but a completely unrestrained kid who is not
much older than Val? Sorry, peeps but the po-po is going to pay you a
visit.

We've come a long way in less than 2 years

2008-06-26T00:16:00.001-07:00

Bumbo seat, very tasty!
Originally uploaded by liz2d2

Don't you agree?

Not Automagic

2008-06-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

When we got Andrea's fine car, we got a lease so she could get all the
bells and whistles she wanted without costing us a bazillion dollars.
It totally made sense at the time.

A while back we realized that her lease was ending so we looked up what
we'd need to pay it off and also what the car was worth. They were the
same, so perfect! We'll just buy the car and be done!

And then. Gas went up to five fucking dollars a gallon and the value of
her car dropped in half. Add in the more than a few extra miles we've
driven the car and it puts us in kind of a pickle.

At this point we stated to think it might be smart to give the car back
and buy a new, cheaper car. We spent this last week looking and once
again I am reminded of something: car salesmen are chumps.

Andrea didn't know that 'let's sit down' is car salesman chump-speak for
'suh-weet! I'm gonna sell a car!' So when she sat down with the
salesguy today, I walked back into that world where the manager struts
out and does the whole song and dance then gets all fucking offended
when I say we need to go home and talk. I guess most people just sit
down and shell out tens of thousands of dollars without doing any
homework. But I sure as shit don't.

We walked away, of course. We're in no rush, even if good old Ahmad the
sales manager with the cheap cologne said the same thing over and over
again. Apparently if I say 'let's work on the bottom line price' that
indicated Ahmad that we were ready to buy.

Sure dude. And the piece of paper with your made-up numbers is a
contract.

I also love how these guys try to tell me that interest rates don't
matter, how they wave away my questions like each question I'm asking
isn't directly related to another dollar that I'd be spending.

Who knows what we'll do next. We're at home, talking about it, despite
Ahmad's disappointment that we're not driving that new Jeep right now.

2008-06-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

Food Blog
AmFam wrote this post about Mr. A's proposed food blog. Go read it now, I'll wait.

In case you didn't read it, the jist of it is that no matter where they go to eat, he has to rush home due to intestinal issues. This got me to thinking about my own culinary experiences, which largely mirror Mr. A's. So now, when that happens, I just tell Andrea, we gotta go, Food Blog! and we're outta there, rushing home to deal with my 'issues'.

Memory lane

2008-06-15T01:56:00.001-07:00

Empirial gardens at Suzhou
Originally uploaded by liz2d2

Just felt like going back to those cold, interesting, smoggy days in China...

2008-06-13T00:37:00.000-07:00

Last time we went to the pediatrician, I almost had a shouting match with her. Granted, it wasn't our 'main' ped, it was the new doc to the practice. She's an older doc and apparently not well-read on modern carseats (though she knew the newest guidelines around heart murmurs and dental work so silly me, I thought she knew about carseats too). So when I said that Val would be rear-facing for quite a while yet she promptly told me to flip her seat around since seats 'can't hold a kid over 20 lbs rear-facing.'

Yo, doc. The middle ages called. They want their carseats back.

Today's convertible carseats rear-face to at least 30 lbs (save this god-awful thing by Combi that nobody should spend good money on). There's a reason for this and it's easy.

Rear-facing is safer. Period. Kids in Sweden rear-face up until they're 5 or so and you know what? They have almost no child fatalities in car accidents. How about that.

So I was shocked and pissed to hear Dr. Dark Ages tell me that I should absolutely flip Val around even though at the time she weighed just 1 lb over the minimum. Thanks for the crap advice but hell no, lady, we won't be listening to you.

Rather than just bailing on the practice, I called months in advance to get an appointment with the Real Doctor and today, I came prepared. I had a stack of handouts about extended rear-facing and what do you know, she listened to everything I had to say and thanked me for the info. I really do think she'll read it all and pass it along to other parents.

My work here is done. For now.

Here are those links again: Car-Safety.org - Why Rear-Facing is Safest
CPS Safety article - Rear-facing - Unmatched Safety
About.com - Rear-Facing Car Seat Rules - Why You Should Consider Extended Rear-Facing
Rear-facing crash test, compare this to:
Forward-facing crash test and you'll see why it makes total sense to leave your kids rear-facing as long as possible.
Longer video about why this is important

Val weighed in at 25 pounds with clothes on so she's got 8 more pounds to go before she rides forward-facing. FYI, it's how much a kid weighs fully clothed that's the measure for car seat weight. Why? Because that's the amount of weight the seat will need to restrain in a crash. Unless your kid rides naked.

I had no idea about any of this until Val was turning one and weighed less than that magical 20 lb MINIMUM for forward-facing. Then I started checking out our options and I saw two videos on YouTube showing how carseats work. Rear-facing seats absorb the impact. Kids in forward-facing seats absorb that impact with their neck and shoulders.

Seat? Your kid's neck. You decide. For us it's a no-brainer. I'll let our seats do the work. When people give me shit about it, saying Val should be turned I have but one answer, a very firm 'It's Just Safer.' Doesn't everyone want what's safest for their kids?

Or is it better to let junior see out the window?

Anyway, I'm pleased as hell that Real Doctor was so receptive even if I did have to give her the AAP's carseat guideline (something she should've had herself in the first place).

Tune in next time as I share with you all the benefits of extended harnessing. Listen as I laugh maniacally at the notion of Val ever riding in a booster seat. If you want to read ahead on that, go to

www.kyledavidmiller.org.

Other future plans include spending part of my sabbatical next year getting certified as a carseat tech so I can wave a fancypants laminated card around when I talk about these things.