38 Weeks...

At my doctor visit last week, I learned the following:

• I'm negative for Group Beta Strep. That's huge, since it doesn't guarantee that I will need an IV the instant I arrive at the hospital to deliver.
• I'm a teeny bit dilated.
• I'm 50-70% effaced.
• The baby hasn't dropped yet.

All this adds up to some progress but no real indication that the baby is going to make an appearance before her due date.

However, since that visit, I've had quite a few contractions, including some that were worth writing home about. So who the hell knows.

Just in case, I got her room ready, at least ready enough to bring her home and use. That's all the news from my nether regions.

36 weeks and counting

We had my 36 week doctor visit today. That included the Group B Strep test and a pre-emptive swab to make sure I'm not leaking amniotic fluid. We don't know about the strep thing yet but I'm sure you'll be relieved to know that nope, it's not fluid, it's just pee.

The PA couldn't confirm that our wee one was head-down and even though I was 90% sure that she still is, and even though the PA said that she has plenty of time to turn if she isn't head down, I pushed the issue and got us a quickie ultrasound to make sure that yep, she's still locked and loaded. Because this whole hypnobirthing thing is pretty much worthless if the kid is breech.

She's also huge and has some very dense bones. I knew about both of those things because most of the time now, my stomach is very very hard right where the baby is. But it was good to see the wee one in action, even for a brief moment.

Magic Moments

Lest you (or more importantly, our daughter) think that this pregnancy has had no magic, that it's all been me bitching about this that or the other (and yes, I know there's been a lot of that), I wanted to share a few of the amazing moments.

• The day we found out that I was pregnant. We were enjoying an amazing vacation at DisneyWorld, me looking somewhat longingly at the people with little kids or the very pregnant and wondering if we'd get our turn. I was sure it hadn't worked, tried my hardest not to think about it, but avoided soft cheeses just the same.

  Until the day before we found out, when I said screw it and had a really tasty Brie sandwich.

  The next morning, we were greeted by the faintest line on a pregnancy test ever.

• The day we first saw her heartbeat, at 6 weeks. She was but a wee dot and her little heart was just as big as her body. Of course, at that time we were convinced she was a boy.
• The day 2 weeks later, when she looked like a little tadpole.
• The first time I felt her move, at 13.5 weeks. Yes, this is early but I assure you, that was not gas. It was me sneezing very loudly and scaring my daughter.
• The day my nausea and gagging ended, at 24.5 weeks. That might be the best day of all.
• The night Andrea first felt the baby move.
• The night Andrea first saw the baby move under my belly.
• The night the baby played with us by swimming away from where we were patting her little rump under my belly.
• And now, these final weeks as we just wait and I grow bigger with each passing minute. There's a sense of calm and sort of disbelief that very soon, our family will grow by a couple of very small feet.

Because She Needs To Know This

While there are many parts of this pregnancy that I'm hoping to magically forget when our wee one is here (20+ weeks of nausea, for one, the spectacular Leg Cramp she gave me for my birthday, etc.), there are a few things I'd like to remember forever, then tell our daughter when she's old enough to be amused or embarassed by them.

Because she totally has a personality of her own, even now, at 34.5 weeks, that personality is clear, growing clearer every day. Recognizing this fact from very early on in the pregnancy has challenged everything I've ever thought about being pro-choice but that's another discussion for another day and in the end, I'm still going to be pro-choice. I just think it's even more clear to me that abortion isn't a choice I could make.

Anyway, from the time we could actually pick up her heartbeat on the excellent doppler Susan was nice enough to loan us, this kid has made it clear.

She does NOT like the doppler, she is not signing autographs.

More than one OB visit dating back to like 16 weeks has ended with all of us laughing because every attempt to pick up a heartbeat has resulted in our daughter giving up a glimpse of her very strong heartbeat, then swimming away from the doppler site with every ounce of strength she has.

These days, I listen to her heart almost every day, not because she's not moving (most of the time, she is moving) but because 1. I'm a little paranoid just the same and 2. because it's really funny to hear her protest via the VERY LOUD interference that comes when she's frantically swimming away.

Why I'm paranoid? Not because this baby has given us any real reason to worry but because in our circle of friends, there have been 7 babies lost in the last 3 years. 3 full-term, 4 second-trimester. All little people who should be here with us today instead of just in our hearts. With each one, they were freak things, but things happening close to us just the same, things I won't let happen to this baby.

So we listen a little more often, we pay a little more attention to every ache and pain and we've made a few decisions about planning for her birth differently than we would have, had those babies not been lost.

And then, we put those fears aside and enjoy the way our daughter is growing fond of making anything placed on top of her dance (hello, dancing toast!) and how she's started to play with us when we touch her and how amazing and beautiful we know she'll be.