5 Months

Ahhh, Val. 5 months ago today, you arrived peeing and screaming into this world. I'm mostly recovered from the long months of carrying you and from the long hours of helping you be born. You, of course, are doing just great. Your heart murmur, tiny as it was to start with, is closing on it's own. You're growing like crazy, so much so that we had to loosen the straps on all of your strollers and your carseat in the same week! We've already boxed up a huge lot of clothes you're done with and moved into the next size. It was weird putting those clothes away knowing that I wouldn't see them again until we either have another baby or we give them away.

But back to you. You sit up for long periods, playing with anything in your reach. You're really quite ready to eat some baby food but since I've got some tummy problems that I'd rather you not get, we're waiting just a little while longer. Everything you meet goes into your mouth.

My breath stops when I look at you. My heart skips a beat when you laugh while I tickle your belly and under your chin.

You love love love Abby Cadabby. When you are mad mad mad, all we have to do is turn on the episode where she makes her appearance and you're instantly enthralled.

Sometimes you cry in your sleep and it's all I can do to not cry along with you.

You still breastfeed like a pro, making me feel like a fool for doubting I could do it. That was before I understood that it's as much about you as it is me.

Most nights you fall asleep with almost no trouble, most nights you fall asleep while eating. We hold you until you're really out. Because you're still tiny and sometimes the most I can offer you is that warm place in my arms. When you are older, I hope with every bit of hope I can muster that somewhere in your heart, that you'll remember these nights we hold you tight and the comfort you feel there in our arms. And that comfort will carry you through the rest of your life.

That elusive first tooth remains elusive. But you've sure got a lot of drool to back up our theory that it might be coming.

Most of the time, you're very cooperative when we have you do silly things, then take pictures of them.

3 weeks ago, I had to go back to work. My heart almost broke when I kissed your chubby cheek early that morning, then left you and Mommy to get going for the day. When I picked you up at the end of the day, the rest of the world melted away and you just touched my face. I hate it that I can't be with you every day (even if it did get a little old at times) now but I'm trying to make the best of it.

This weekend, someone asked me how motherhood was, was it everything I'd imagined it would be. My answer was yes, it was everything I'd imagined, times 10.

19 Weeks

Holy crap, we blinked and Val is somehow getting close to 5 months old. She's getting more and more funny, laughing a big belly laugh like a little mini-adult would instead of her squeal.

Major developments include:

• Sitting up unassisted for long periods of time and reaching for stuff just outside her grasp.
• Pulling herself to a standing position with only the barest of help.
• Rolling over, then back, then back again with ease.
• Sleeping mostly through the night, most nights. It's awesome, just awesome.
• Love, love, loving to jump in her Jumperoo while watching Sesame Street.
• Smiling with her whole body when she sees Andrea or my bad self.

I went back to work this week, and that part sucks. I'm doing my best to not think about the wee baby girl who owns my heart while I'm here. But it's hard not to.

We also finally make it back to the circa-1960's kiddie zoo, this time with Andrea in tow. While we were there, we saw an ass.