Dear Val,

Last Friday I worked from home and though I'd done my best to get the majority of my work done before you woke up, that didn't prevent some drama from arising. At the same time I started to stress about getting it done, you refused to nap and decided crying better was the better choice for you. Along with this, you climbed into my lap, something I normally love.

But when I'm trying to code, it's quite challenging. You could tell I was getting frustrated, it was making you frustrated too. So you cried, got into everything and all the while I just wanted you to sleep for an hour so I could fix my work issue.

But you never did sleep and I managed to fix my issue. I also managed to yell back at you, and for an hour or so, be the kind of impatient mother that I never wanted to be.

You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry.

When you fell asleep on me that night, your head on my belly, I knew you'd forgiven me, that the extended playtime in the bath you got and the mellow night we had together had erased the events of the day for you.

But they didn't for me and I'm sorry. I'll do better next time.

Love,
Mom