All About Valerie!

Month 25

2008-07-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

Val, it seems that I'm so busy answering your thousand questions all day that I haven't had time to blog about what you're up to this month. Good thing you're now 26 months. How is THAT possible?

Anyhoo, now that you're two (and a month, you like to tell people) you talk a mile a minute, full sentences and more. You run so fast, then stop to admire any and all shiny things that capture your attention. You do this so much that I think I'm about to sprain an ankle trying not to trip over you. You seem to need to do this every. single. time that you leave our living room and cross over the baby gate into the dining room, usually while we're on our way to the bathroom. You'd think I'd learn by now but no, every time, I am surprised that you'd stop there, at the gate.

Your gymnastics class now has 2 little girls who are younger than you. You're the showoff in the class now, doing all kinds of jumping and poses and more jumping, largely on command. I'm so proud of you when those other kids are sort of doing their own thing and you're busy following directions.

You've been at preschool for 2 months now. At first, it sucked, really sucked. You'd cry. A lot. I had all kinds of guilt about it, about seeing tears in your eyes when I went to pick you up. But one day, a little farm came to visit. You petted 1 pig (as you tell it), a goat and saw some chickens. I don't know what about the farm made school better for you but now you don't cry. You do seem to wet your pants at least once a week but I can live with that if you're not crying.

I say this every time and it's true. You just get more and more fun. Let's see what 26 months is like!

Two

2008-06-09T16:29:00.001-07:00

=D
Originally uploaded by gadgetgrrl

This is what two looks like, my dear Val. Aside from that fact that it's unreal that you're two, here we are.

I'm thrilled to report that you're pretty much potty trained. This is just fantastic for us, it means no more diapers. Even though it means sometimes we have to pull the car over and find a bathroom, it also means no more diapers. The joy of that, I cannot stress enough.

Your language is just crazy. I think it's off the charts but if I actually looked up then saw that it was true, then I'd be bragging. And that seems wrong. But when you tell me 'I take a shower when my other mommy gets home,' I have to wonder how many other kids your age bust out with that kind of language.

Maybe they all do, I don't know. I just know you.

And you, my dear, are fantastically funny and smart.

You also love to 'fwim' and 'fwing' in any pool or puddle and on any swing that comes your way. We do our best to indulge your love of the water and the flying. Hell, we do our best to indulge you as much as possible.

Our next door neighbor claims that we're spoiling you by buying you Hello Kitty bandaids. If that's the definition, I can live with that. Because bandaids? They are small and not that expensive.

We are working hard with you on manners. You said please and thank you a lot, maybe more than seems necessary but I'd prefer it become something you do without thinking so we do it a lot.

You've also arrived in the terrible two's. So far, it's not all that bad, just some tantrums that we don't play into. You may finish them across the room, or wherever we send you to do this, then you can come back and talk about whatever it is that you wanted so badly you felt the need to scream bloody murder about.

I suspect that if we're consistent in this, it might pave the way for good behavior. But who knows, we may well have gotten it all wrong.

You've been in preschool for 4 weeks now and I wish I could say it was going well. But you cry when Andrea leaves you, and some days you have tears in your eyes when I pick you up at the end of the day.

I cannot tell you how much this breaks my heart. Please, please, start liking preschool soon so I can stop feeling like the worst parent in the world for having to send you there.

But other than that, you're doing so well. And we're still having a fabulous time being your moms.

Happy birthday, baby girl!

Month Twenty Three

2008-05-13T12:06:00.001-07:00

Ice cream!
Originally uploaded by liz2d2

I've been remiss in posting this, I think because I'm totally in denial about the fact that at the end of this week, you'll be two.

It's so true, my little baby has vanished, leaving a very loud, very funny toddler in her place.

We are having SO much fun with you right now.

Your language is off the charts. You say so many things so clearly and more than once you've shocked us by saying the same thing using different words if we don't respond quickly enough.

You run and climb all the time, at least as much as we let you. We're working hard on getting you to understand that it's imperative that you hold our hands while in parking lots. I totally get it -- you'd rather be gallivanting around doing your own thing than hanging on to us but still, it gives us a bit of a heart attack every time you try to take off.

Speaking of things you're doing on your own... Next Monday you start preschool. It's near our house, it's sunny and bright and you seem to like it a lot. We like it, too, even if it means you're going to be on your own with a lot of other kids. At this very moment you're visiting preschool, eating your lunch with the other kids while Andrea waits outside for you. We've visited a few days already. This time, when Andrea went to leave the room, you asked 'going to work, Mommy?' then went on about the business of eating your lunch.

This weekend, this Friday, you'll be two. I cannot grasp that at all but yet here it is. We are having a big party for you, complete with a badass water feature at the park and a Zoe cake, per your request.

We are so in love with you, baby girl. Happy Birthday!

22 Months

2008-04-01T15:39:00.001-07:00

I made this one.
Originally uploaded by torturedmommy

Oh Val, you are almost 2. You're really not 1 at all, even though on paper that might be true. But no, you are a Little Girl. Walking, running, talking, using the potty most of the time, running on tiptoes a fair bit and going down gigantic slides all by yourself.

I'm pretty sure if I blink, you'll be pulling out of our driveway to go to college. So I'm trying very hard not to blink because I don't want to miss a thing.

Your favorite two questions these days are "Why?" and "Doing, Mommy?" Even if I've just told you what I'm doing, and why, you still need more information. Or, I think, the same information again just to re-confirm that you've got my attention.

Please don't worry about that. You most certainly have our attention.

Other parents we know talk about how hard it is having a little one. I won't pretend that it's the easiest thing in the world when you're being stubborn, when you're totally underfoot and we're trying to get something done around the house, when you pretend like you don't hear me. But that's all part of what we signed up for, we knew this going in, that there would be times like these (they don't call them the terrible 2's for nothing). All of that frustration is forgotten when you come to us and say 'cuddle you, Mommy' or we catch you sleeping with your butt in the air.

We've already made plans for your 2nd birthday party. I've given up being astonished at how fast the time is going and am just doing my best to cherish every moment with you.

21 Months!

2008-02-25T11:16:00.001-08:00

Fountain fun!
Originally uploaded by liz2d2

Oh Val, we weren't looking and somehow you're almost 2. 2! It is with great and extreme bewilderment that I contemplate what to do for your 2nd birthday.

Today I looked down at you in your crib, surrounded by your Backyard.igans dolls and I couldn't believe how much of the crib you now take up. How did you possibly get to be this big?

You weigh about 24 pounds now. I know this because we weighed you at Cheddah's house and we confirmed the weight on the produce scale at Safeway. Your carseat is still rear-facing because the more I read about it, the more I know it's the safest place for you. We're lucky in this because you don't seem to mind.

Your words are just out of control. At last count, you have somewhere around 300 of them and you are not afraid to use them. In fact, you're even stringing them into sentences when we least expect it.

You're also well on your way to being potty trained. This thrills me to no end because while it does mean running to the potty with you fairly often, it means fewer dirty diapers in our world. It also means a growing pile of ridiculously cute underpants in your drawer.

Speaking of drawers, you're outgrowing your dresser not because you have any more clothes than you used to but because those clothes are a lot bigger. We just figured this out. Yep, we're smart like that.

If I ask you who's in your family, you say 'me!' then 'mommy!' and then, 'mommy!' You also can say your whole name, saying your last name with an almost Southern twang.

Your favorite word these days is diffrent. No matter what we offer you, you'd like something 'diffrent!' I do get this but it does present a challenge for us -- how many times do we hold our ground and when do we give in? We're still figuring that out, I suspect it's a lifelong lesson for all of us.

Last weekend, you went ice skating for the first time. I was so proud, so happy. It was the moment I'd been waiting for since before you were born. You had a great time and we did too.

Being your mom is more fun every day. Keep up the good work!

A Big Day

2008-02-08T18:12:00.000-08:00

Val, today is the longest you've gone without a potty accident. Last night, you woke up with a dry diaper, you went potty when you woke up and have been dry ALL DAY today. I am so proud of you!

Right now you're wearing ridiculously cute training pants with stars on them. Last night you wore Zoe underpants and were so proud of yourself. Keep up the good work, kid!!

20 Months

2008-01-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

My Dear Val,
20 Months ago today you emerged from my womb, peed on your way out and took about 2 seconds too long to start breathing. But once you got going with the breathing program, you latched on to breastfeed like a pro, started growing and never looked back. Somehow, in the nanosecond since all that happened, you've hit this crazy milestone where your months now start with 2's.

2's. How in the world is that possible? Wasn't I just patting my belly with you tucked (rather firmly, as it turned out) inside? Weren't you just rolling around in there? Possibly but somehow you are now rapidly approaching your 2nd birthday.

Your language has continued to grow exponentially. You now have 2 and 3 word sentences (No! Want it! Play this! Step this! Bless you (when we sneeze. Because when you were first born, you sneezed all the time and I determined that each and every time you sneezed, I would say Bless you, so you knew that I loved you. In case you had any doubt.). You're continuing your steady progression towards potty training, now going whole afternoons with a dry diaper on. I can almost see a day in the not-too-distant future where you have no diapers at all.

You can see that day, too. It comes in the form of your beloved 'panties.' We have a small stash of training pants and regular super-cute underpants for you. Now and again, we get them out and talk about them, how girls who use the potty all the time can wear them. Thanks to your Auntie and your Grandma K, we have a good variety of these waiting for you -- Elmo and Tinkerbell, plus some cute training pants. You've started asking for them and the other day, you got to wear some of the Elmos.

If your little tushie in those Elmo underpants wasn't the cutest thing I've ever seen, well, I don't know how anything could be cuter.

Parents I know talk about how this age is so hard. And sure, it is. Because you're constantly asking why, you're constantly not following directions, but you're also getting funnier by the minute. And if I blink, I might miss one of those steps along the way. I'm sure as hell NOT going to do that if I can help it.

Every Friday, we go to gymnastics and every Friday you do more and more of what the teacher asks you. You do a dinosaur kick anytime the mood strikes you, be it in a store or a living room. (note: I tried to find a picture of you doing your dinosaur kick but found only this:

You also say 'hello toes' and 'goodbye toes' like we do during the stretches in class. Only you do it whenever the mood strikes you. I have to admit, I like this method a whole lot more.

You've figured out how to take off your pants and your diaper/undies. The shirt, you haven't quite mastered yet so at the very least when you decided to disrobe, you'll still have a shirt on. This does mean that at bathtime, instead of me having to fight you to get you undressed, you do it yourself, then run in, sometimes stopping to pee in the potty on the way.

Almost 2 weeks ago, we started a new bedtime routine for you. You lay in your crib and mommy or myself sits next to you, reading and holding your hand while you fall asleep. So far this has helped you sleep longer and be more enthusiastic about being in your room.

Grandma and Grandpa came for Christmas and holy crap are you in love with Grandma. Right off the bat you told her all about the bird and snowman on your shirt and from there on out it was love. You hung out with them for 2 of the days they were here, running in circles around their hotel room and showing them how damn funny you are.

I think you're about to grow because right now you're eating everything in sight. That's a good thing, because somehow you've turned into a very skinny little kid. The upside is that you get to be rear-facing in your carseat for a good long while yet.

I know I say this every month and every day, but it's true. Being your mom is absolutely as amazing as I'd ever dared to dream. Happy 20 months, kiddo.

19 Months

2007-12-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, seriously. Someone stop this crazy fast passage of time that has led us here, to the place where you are 19 months old already. It's not fair that it's going this fast, especially when you consider how long being pregnant seemed to last.

Val, you are a walking, talking, coloring machine. You've got sentences:

Play this!
Wash it!
NO want it.

You understand that if your mommy is in the bedroom because she's tired, you might get to go in there with her if you say you're tired too.

I can sneak nothing by you. You spied a brand-new pair of piggie pajamas I'd tucked on the side of your dresser and wanted nothing to do with the horsie pj's that you'd loved the day before (No want it! Away!). You wanted only the piggies.

And speaking of pj's, lately you're totally, 100% over those cute pj's with the feet in them. You want only the 2 piece models that I bought almost none of. Sigh. So we're doing more laundry to make sure the few we have are ready for you and I used a coupon to score you a few more pairs (the now-famous piggie, a monkey and a snowman) to get us through the winter.

I didn't realize how many times I say 'hi' to you in this little quiet voice until you started saying it to me too. Every time you do it, you look in my eyes and I just want to melt.

You say 'okay' when we ask you about things. You also say 'fuck' so we need to be a little more careful these days.

Being your mom remains the greatest thing ever.

All Of A Sudden, She's Two

2007-11-29T12:13:00.000-08:00

It seems nuts, since she's actually 18 months. But all of a sudden, we've come to realize that there's a 2 year old in our house instead of the 7 lb, 10.5 oz baby we brought home just the other day.

That baby? She's been replaced by a running dervish who does the following:

Asks Why. All the time. Yes, people, I know this is supposed to happen later but here we are, firmly entrenched in the Land of Whys.
Sentences. Wash it! Hold this! Want that!
Sits cross-legged. Huh? She can do that???

Really, I think it's the whys that have crossed us over into this other land, a land where I'm now 100% certain that our local school will not be the best place for her...

18 Months

2007-11-21T10:17:00.001-08:00

My dear Val,

I have resigned myself to the inevitable passage of time. No matter what I do, I will continue blinking and see you become a different person altogether between the blinks. This is just how it's going to be until one day your mom and I are pulling away from the curb, leaving you at college while we wonder how many blinks it was really, from that warm day when we first met you until the moment we leave you behind to start your life as an adult.

But today, as we pause between those blinks, you amaze me more every day. You run at great speed, shouting while running when you're very excited. Your love for Elmo continues, with no signs of stopping.

Added to your loves now are Blue's Clues and Jack's Big Music Show. More than once you've woken up to ask for Jack and start tapping your foot. It's not Barney or any of those horrible shows so who am I to argue?

I hate to say this one out loud for fear of jinxing it, but it seems that we've gotten your sleep mostly squared away. You lie between us in your spot in our bed, watching Blue and Jack until you fall asleep, then we move you to your crib, where you stay the rest of the night. I'm sure the glow of the tv is rotting your brain somehow but for now, it's working and I'm not complaining. We also stopped giving you a bottle at night, you just drink milk from a sippy cup like a big girl.

You are funny. Damn funny. Your language is improving every day -- there's no more Melmo and Babby, no sirree, it's Elmo and Abby all the way. You've got a love of muffins (fuffins) that cannot be denied. You love all kinds of fuffins, English, bran, honey, blueberry, whatever we put in front of you.

You blow kisses, only you just do the lip smacking part. That's the heart of the gesture right there anyway. When my phone rings, you assume it's grandma (Gwama!) and give the phone a kiss. You are fascinated with babies. You say Baby! Baby! anytime we're near a kid remotely close to your age.

You're still pretty skinny, 22 lbs and 31.5 inches tall. That means your carseat remains rear-facing and will for a while. You don't seem to mind and hardly noticed when you rode forward-facing on a trip because I just Could Not Get The Seat In Right Rear-Facing. When we got home to your regular rear-facing seat, that was just fine with you. Good thing because you've got a few pounds to go before we make that change.

You love climbing. You climb on everything that's not nailed down, because things that are nailed down are far less interesting to climb on than ones that could tip over and make you fall.

We started a gymnastics class last week. I'm not sure how much you'll actually learn there but I think you had a good time.

The best news about you right now is that we went back to the cardiologist last week and finally, finally, the hole in your heart is healed. Just writing it like that doesn't convey a fraction of the gratitude I have for that little hole closing up.

Make no mistake, kid. We're having a blast being your moms.

My Little Motormouth

2007-10-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

These days, Val is quite the motormouth! Here's what she says:

Mommy (for both of us)
Sooshan
Auntie (also for Susan)
Balrie (Valerie)
Gwama!
Daddy (for her Grandaddy)
Sam
Ri-eyy
Sawah (our friend Sarah)
Soup (our friend Sue P)
Cwis (my brother Chris)
Baby
Sister
Brother
Thank you
Pweesh (please)
Geeps (grapes)
Peshes (peaches)
Yogurt
Chick-en
Cheese
Pancakes
Snack
Wawa (water)
Nai (chinese for milk)
Hockey!
Ball
Sticker
Potty
Toot
Poop
Diapee
Elmo (it's no longer Melmo)
Abby
Nemo (sounds like Elmo)
Os-car
Boos Coos (blue's clues)
Jacket
Shirt
Doggie
Mon-ster
Ghosts (talking about our Halloween shirts)
Home
Outside (this is where everyone who isn't here with us is)
Chur-ch
Hi
Bye
Hewo (this when she's on her pretend phone)

Sentences:
Pweesh have pweesh (please may I have something)
Iwanthatone (i want that one)
Over dere (over there)

I think that's all, at least what we hear on a regular basis.

Dear Val,

2007-09-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I worked from home and though I'd done my best to get the majority of my work done before you woke up, that didn't prevent some drama from arising. At the same time I started to stress about getting it done, you refused to nap and decided crying better was the better choice for you. Along with this, you climbed into my lap, something I normally love.

But when I'm trying to code, it's quite challenging. You could tell I was getting frustrated, it was making you frustrated too. So you cried, got into everything and all the while I just wanted you to sleep for an hour so I could fix my work issue.

But you never did sleep and I managed to fix my issue. I also managed to yell back at you, and for an hour or so, be the kind of impatient mother that I never wanted to be.

You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry.

When you fell asleep on me that night, your head on my belly, I knew you'd forgiven me, that the extended playtime in the bath you got and the mellow night we had together had erased the events of the day for you.

But they didn't for me and I'm sorry. I'll do better next time.

Love,
Mom

15 Months

2007-08-22T11:44:00.001-07:00

Here you are, at 15 months old. You are running, talking, laughing and once in a while, you are peeing on your little potty like a big girl.

Yesterday, you got your first giant boo-boo. We were at the park with Auntie and the girls and you came running towards me at full speed. In the blink of an eye, you were down on the ground, too stunned to even cry yet.

Your poor right knee is skinned. The wound is so big we didn't have a BandAid big enough to cover it. After we got home last night, you took a shower. That hurt your boo-boo so much that you cried through the whole shower. We skipped brushing your teeth, you were crying too much.

Later, when it felt a little better, you sat between us in our bed watching TV. You saw Kermit the Frog and some other Muppets and man, you thought that was great. Until you moved in a way that made your knee hurt.

I know that in your life there will be many more boo-boos. Maybe someday I'll be immune to them but I just don't see how.

In the last couple of months, we've moved you to your own crib in your own room. And just like that, you've started sleeping through the night. Some nights you get up around 7 or so and then come back to bed with us. But most nights, you're there in your room like a big girl for 11 hours.

Your language has exploded lately. We think the count is around 25 words already, most of them are even understandable!

Your love for Abby Cadabby continues and grows. Melinda gave you an Abby sweatshirt that has, I think, become your #1 favorite thing to wear. You're also into wearing whatever's around. Last night you wore a pair of fuzzy socks that your Mom had. They were like leggings and you were SO proud of yourself.

One word that you really like to say is 'mine'. You say this with stunning clarity and always as you're grabbing for some object. This is slightly less charming and has prompted us to respond with 'we share in this family.'

Being your mom has gotten more and more fun with each day. But just like that, you're now a Little Kid instead of a baby. Here's proof:

The Simple Things

2007-08-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

Last night, your mom and I went on a date for the first time since you were born. You had a blast with auntie Susan, uncle Bill and the girls. I'm pretty sure you didn't even notice we weren't there. You crashed on the little couch in auntie's family room and were sound asleep, butt in the air, when we came to fetch you.

Once we got home, you ate sooo much, had your bath then took your sweet time going to sleep. But I didn't mind, I'd missed you all day.

This morning you got up around 8:30. I heard you calling 'mommeeee' 'mommeeee' so I went in to get you. But you were still half-asleep, lying on your back as you said it. After a minute I picked you up, changed your diaper and took you back into our room.

You drank your bottle and curled up into me, where we all slept, my hand on your wee back, your hands reaching for me for another half hour until I had to get up and go to work, leaving pillows in my place so you didn't roll out of the bed without me there.

ONE!

2007-05-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

Val,

I have blinked once again and here you are, a whole year old. Of course, I'm writing this almost a month late but thanks to the miracle of backdated posts, I'm making it look like I wrote this on your birthday.

We celebrated your big day a few days early, at the park. You had a blast, walking around in your very pretty birthday outfit.

When it came time for your cake, which was made with love by Auntie Soosan, you didn't know what to think of it, and since we were all gathered around you, cameras poised, you just sort of looked back at all of us. That's what I would have done, too.

We planned your party understanding it was mostly for us. For you, it was just a fun day at park with all your friends. I was just happy I didn't cry when everyone sang for you.

You're walking now, and though you stumble a fair bit, you're still a girl on the go. You're eating with a spoon and a fork. It's a messy process but we're so damn proud of you.

Having your party go off without a hitch helped me put aside the lingering issues I had around the day you were born. It also marked an entire year of you being breastfed. I'm so proud that we made it to this point. You're healthy and skinny. I like to think that it's because of all that breastmilk. And good genes.

It has been one hell of a year, little girl. You have indeed changed my life and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything. Happy birthday Val.

11 Months!

2007-04-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

Seriously. How did we get here, to where you're almost a whole year old, Val? I must have blinked because my little baby girl is now a really funny toddler with squeaky shoes.

Just last night you started feeding yourself with a spoon. Yes, yes, it was really messy but you were so proud of yourself, squeaking and squawking the whole time you were making a mess. We were proud of you, too.

A week ago Friday you decided to start walking. This, you love, but the power in it seems to scare you just a little because after about 5 steps you get down on the floor and go back to crawling. That's fine with us, too. We're proud of you either way.

Your favorite toy remains the plastic caps from your bottles. There is no greater joy in your world than putting a pacifier into, then taking it out of one of those caps. It also doubles as a darth vader mask, you love to talk into it and laugh at yourself.

And yes, you love to laugh. I love it that you love to laugh. Because nothing's funnier than being funny and nothing makes life grand like laughter. And of course, you.

We're planning your birthday party already. It seems absolutely unreal that in just a month you'll be a 1 year old, your age no longer just measured in months but in years. Okay, one year, but still A YEAR that you've been with us.

Yep, this has been the best year of my life. Nice work, kid.

This Is What 11 Months Looks Like

How Is This Possible?

2007-04-04T15:40:00.000-07:00

Val, we're making plans for your first birthday party already. One. You're going to be one. It seems like a second ago that we were all in the hospital and I looked up at the clock and said 'Val! You're 4 hours old!'

But here we are, shopping for play structures and sort of starting to refer to you as a toddler. I cannot believe how fast it's gone, this time since you arrived in this world.

When you were but wee, a stranger with two seriously rowdy young sons told us to treasure every minute. We assured her that we were, but I don't think we quite prepared for just how fast it's gone.

Could someone please slow down the clock, just a little?

But. This is a really fun age. Val, you're almost walking. You laugh a lot now. You say 'no' an awful lot and I can't help but find it funny. You're even sleeping in your own crib for 7-8 hours at a stretch some nights. Not all nights, but enough to make me feel a whole lot better in the mornings.

You give hugs. Those little hugs are The Best Hugs Ever.

10 Months (and a few days)

2007-03-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

Val, I know I posted just the other day. I also know that I'm not keeping up with this blog as often as I could be but... I'm spending the time I'd spend blogging watching you grow up. And that, it is so goddamn much fun I can't quite describe it.

We did a really momentous thing last night -- I went to the store, purchased some soy milk and poured it into a cup for you. I didn't have to lift up my shirt, pump anything or warm up a bottle. I just poured it. Into a cup.

For 10 months now, your primary source of nutrition has come from me. It's been a lot more work than I'd ever really considered and I'm proud as hell of my efforts.

But I am so damn tired of the whole thing. I'm sure that later, much later, I'll look back on our breastfeeding relationship and miss parts of it. But right now, I just want you to get your nutrition from somewhere else. Like the store. Though not from formula. I have not come this far only to give you formula for 2 months. That's stupid. And expensive.

You're going on your first DisneyWorld trip this fall. We bought our tickets this week and I have to say I can't wait to go there with you. The last time we went, we found out you were on your way into this world, returning there with you in tow is going to be awesome.

For now, we're just waiting for the easter bunny.

Not Quite 10 Months

2007-03-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

Oh Val. In 2 days, you'll be 10 months. That milestone means a lot of things, most notably for me is that you've been breastfed for 10 months. Which is about 8 months longer than I thought we'd be at this. But I'm proud that I've done this for you. I hope it has all the magical powers that those who love breastfeeding claim it does.

If nothing else, we've saved a crapload of money on formula. Go, us.

But back to you, my sweet girl. You're so big now, I hardly know what to do. Gone is that itty-bitty baby of mine, emerging is the girl you're going to be. I see glimpses of that girl all the time now. I'm excited to meet her but I miss my baby all at the same time.

You're eating everything we put in front of you. You'd rather not eat things that we feed to you, thank you very much. No, you want to put your food directly into your own mouth. I like to do that, too, so how can I argue?

This week, just this week, you figured out how to drink from a cup. Thank Jesus and all his bearded friends for this, because in my mind, it was the key to starting to wean you to cow's milk. Yesterday you carried your cup of water and little snack thing of Cheerios to the park just like a big girl. I was so proud.

But I'm so proud everyday. Proud of your words, which are still holding steady at 'oh' and 'mama' which seems to become 'miii' for milk. Proud of you standing up all by yourself while I read you the Elmo book. Proud of you typing on your own sidekick while we type on ours, the three of us, information junkies. And very much in this together.

10 months ago today, you were due to be born. 10 months. Val, that's almost a year.

On that day, 10 months ago, Andrea and I drove to the hospital to be induced, to help you leave my body and join the world. You sure as hell took your time getting here, even after all that help. But you got here and slowly, the scars on my body and my heart from that experience are healing.

Because your laugh, this amazing thing you save for special occasions, knits back together anything that may have broken during your crazy arrival in this world. Hell, it heals anything that may have ailed me before you.

Soon you will be one year old. 1. But for now, you are still 9 months old and you are our baby girl for just a little while yet.

9 Months!

2007-02-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

OMG Valerie Marta, how exactly has it come to pass that you've been here with us for 9 whole months? When my pregnancy seemed a lifetime, this time with you has been but the blink of an eye.

You are ridiculously funny now. You wave at us when we come into a room. You wave at the people you know. You have people you know, people you recognize because you've seen them before. How is that possible?

In the last 3 weeks you've gone from having no teeth to having 6 teeth. This sudden change has impacted how I feel about breastfeeding you, but we're working it out. You did decide to test those chompers on me three times (yep, they totally work, thanks) but we'll get through this. I remain more determined than ever to get you to a year with the breastmilk.

Someday you may thank me for it, but since you're my child I'm figuring you'll just roll your eyes if I ever mention it.

You do this amazing squat now, perched on one leg as if you're about to get up and walk unassisted. You crawl to things, mainly to something new to pull yourself up on. You love to stand holding onto things, picking up a toy while you're up there, putting it down, squealing and telling us all about it.

Your smile, it gets better every day. And that wave. God, it makes everything I've ever known or done seem absolutely insignificant next to you. Which it all is. Of course.

You've now been on an airplane 4 times and each time you have been amazing. Breastfeed on the runway, fall asleep by the time we take off and sleep until we get there, then wake up smiling.

I'm sure saying this will jinx it, but lately you've been a lot happier in your car seat. I can't thank you enough for this because hearing you cry when I can't do anything about it sucks. You're in your big girl carseats in both of our cars now, we've retired the bucket o' baby for you.

You'll ride in a stroller for bit longer than you used to. That's a very nice thing for us mommies.

I think all your growing and all your teeth is what's making sleep harder for you lately. We're doing our best to help you through it but right now you have two very tired mommies from all of this late night action.

Last week we went to the cardiologist with you and your stupid heart murmur is still there. This makes us very sad, even though it's very small.

You're eating everything we put in front of you. You'd rather feed yourself than eat baby food we feed you. You loved raviolis and meatballs. I'm so proud. You still love tofu and puffs, and will give anything else a try at least once.

I'm already thinking about your first birthday but like all things with you, I'm taking my time to enjoy each day between here and there. Happy 9 months, my sweet boo boo girl.

Clapping, Standing, Waving!

2007-01-31T11:56:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, and teeth! Over the last couple of weeks, Val has learned the art of clapping, she stands unassisted for a few seconds at a time and her love of waving has gone to new heights. She'll wave at everything, if she's in the mood, wave wave wave, to her fans, to people who she thinks should be her fans, to her beloved boobies.

Two weeks ago, we had no teeth and I was happily breastfeeding. Today, there are 6 teeth and I'm coming to a different place about the breastfeeding. Each little white tooth is a reminder that our little girl is growing up a little more every day.

Along with that, we're quickly moving on from baby food to solid foods. She's got a great love for white foods, rice, god the rice it is sooo great in her world, so much so that she even turned down the boob in favor of rice. To that, I say, go Val! She also loves bread and peaches and pears and bananas. Meat, not so much, not just yet.

She'd rather her feed herself than be fed, making a grand mess in the process.

Being her mom just gets cooler every day.

8 Months

2007-01-16T11:40:00.000-08:00

Oh, Val. Today you are 8 months old. That's the better part of a whole year already.

You've been quite busy this last month, in many ways busier than any other month since your arrival. On 12/23, I was wrapping presents while you played on the floor near me. Then I blinked and you were crawling across the floor to get the remote. Crawling!

The very next day you decided it was high time to pull yourself up on anything that looks like it will hold you. With great glee, you hoist yourself up, then smack the shit out of the table, the wall, the cardboard box. You've also expanded this skill to include standing, unassisted, for a few seconds at a time, though you don't really seem to notice this.

Food. God, how you love solid foods. You're not too fond of jarred baby foods, though you'll tolerate them if you're hungry enough. Peas are okay in small doses, same goes for green beans and most vegetables. You have almost no patience for those 'dinners' with a meat and a veggie together. But you'll eat anything, anything, if it involves fruit.

This is where I wonder if you're really my child. But I celebrate your love of fruits just the same. You'll eat jarred peaches, pears, apples, bananas, anything from the fruit family. But you get soooo happy when we give you actual pears or peaches to feed yourself.

Boy, do you know how to gum.

But gumming's not all you're doing these days. No, last week you got 3 teeth in a damn hurry. Your first? On the bottom left, followed by two toothlets on top. I know the arrival of those teeth had to have hurt but so far you're bearing the pain like a trooper.

I realized this morning that if today is 8 months for you, yesterday was 8 months ago for the hardest day of my life, the day I was in labor with you. That I didn't remember about that anniversary until afterwards is a really great thing.

But back to you. Your hobbies include clapping, arm flapping and flirting with strangers. You also enjoy shopping:

We take you everywhere. You go to the rink, to restaurants, to stores, on trips. Your sleep at night is still not your best event. If we're lucky, we might all get 5 hours in a row. I can't remember what sleeping for longer feels like. But I assure you, whenever that day comes I'll be grateful for it's return. We're working towards giving you something to hold on to at night so maybe you can soothe yourself back to sleep now and then. It worked for a little while last night, anyway.

You still love the boob. More than ever. You know the sign for milk, when we make that sign you go crazy, flapping around to get to the source. So far you're being very well behaved with your teeth in that department so there will be no hurried weaning just yet.

Though I've begun dreaming of that day when you are weaned. I'm going to get myself a 'Ween' t-shirt and wear it once you've moved on from the boob. Though I'm sure I'll miss parts of that time we share, I'll also be happy to see it end. It'll be high time you and I both move on in that department.

You remain a happy girl. People comment on how happy you are, because I guess babies are supposed to cry all the time? I dunno, I only know you. And I know that we do everything we can to keep you happy, interested and paying attention in your world.

2 years and 4 months until you start hockey lessons. I can't wait. God, I hope you like it.

7 Months

2006-12-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

Val, you have got to be kidding me. It cannot possibly be 7 months since that crazy day when you made your arrival in this world. Maybe like 3 or 4 months, but not 7. No way.

When I was pregnant with you, 7 months was an eternity. How is it that now that you're here, 7 months is the blink of an eye?

But here we are. Me lying with you as you take a nap, periodically glancing over to admire you, then touch your soft hand to my cheek. Sort of like pinching myself to make sure you're real.

You've got so much going on these days, but I'll start with the almosts:

- you almost have teeth. So far you have al the Signs Of Teeth but no teeny tiny pearly whites.

- you almost can crawl. But at the last second you pull yourself up like you're going to just start walking instead.

- you almost sleep through the night. But you're holding steady at a 5 hour stretch followed by a 3 hour stretch. I still dream about getting a full night's sleep.

Here's what you are doing:

- eating more solid foods. After a brief but horrible weekend of constipation caused by us giving you too many non-fibrous foods, we seem to have reached a balance. And discovered along the way that you love peaches.

- making fart noises. The books call this 'blowing raspberries' but I know the truth. Them are fart noises and I am so proud.

- falling asleep with less and less drama. You're getting to a point where it's okay to just sleep without all that crying leading up to it.

- yes, still breastfeeding. This last month, it's become a real comfort thing for you and there's no way I could deny you something so easy that makes you feel better.

Your first Christmas is almost here. I am ready, I think. I know that there's really nothing I want, dear baby, because I have your mom and now, we have you.

Bring On The Foods!

2006-12-06T23:48:00.000-08:00

Val's eating a bunch of different foods now: rice cereal, green beans and now squash and tofu. She's really gotten the hang of the eating off a spoon business, opening her mouth and bouncing in her seat until we feed her another bite.

She's still breastfeeding, too. But the addition of 1-2 meals made of solids takes a ton of pressure off me.

Why? Because I managed to completely mess up my milk supply while we were in Columbus. I've been taking domperidone to increase my supply. It totally worked. Until I dared to take 3 days off from it while we were on vacation.

Since we returned I've been doing everything I can to get it back up. I'm pleased to announce that it's creeping back up to where it was. But even better is the solids replacing even a little of her milk needs.

She's growing up and I know one day I'll miss the closeness we have while she's breastfeeding. But I sure as hell won't miss the whirr of that goddamn pump or the pressure I felt about being her sole food source.

6 Months

2006-11-16T18:15:00.000-08:00

That's a whole half a year since Val's arrival. How did we get here? One day at a time, of course. In many cases, after one long night at a time.

There are so many exciting things in Val's world today.

Val has slept through the night (10 pm- 10 am, with interruptions only at 8 am to eat) the last two nights. This is awesome, execpt that the only way to acheive this is to have her in our bed all night. Which means that we don't sleep as well. But Val does. Chicken, egg?
She's *this* close to crawling. She jacknifes her butt up, then moves her arms forward only to flop over to one side. Then try again. She also scoots on her butt to get a little bit further.
The laughing. Oh god the laughs. They melt my heart. Every time.
The arms and legs, they flap with glee when she's excited. So hard that when we put her in her new hook-on highchair she nearly flapped the table over with the excitement.
We started solid food. Sorta. We mixed up some rice cereal, and she ate maybe a half a bite, then said 'screw this.' And that was that, though we'll try again soon.
We were randomly inspired to hand her a sippy cup with water in it. She grabbed the thing, immediately drew it to her mouth and had a sip. She also played with the cup for a good long while, until she bonked herself on the head with it and we took it away.

There's no way to say this and convey everything behind it. But I have to try.

Val, becoming your mom is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. We are so lucky to know you.